Sing It Out

I opened my eyes to find- white. This doesn't look like hell, I fucking deserve to go there. Or did God feel sorry for me and banished an eternity of suffering. Strangely enough, I could feel. I was in pain, numbed pain, but it was still present. I tried to move my arms or sit up, but I couldn't do that. Again, I was fixed in place unable to move at all. I suddenly panicked, where was I and why is so frigging bright in here?! 
After a few moments of how I died and pondering where the fuck I was, I started to hear voices, I think someone was sat near me. The voice was quiet and almost inaudible but after some time passed, it became more and more prominent. I swear it was saying my name. All at once, a figure loomed over me with an almost heavenly glow to it. Or should I say him. 
"Frankie?!" it called. And then it dawned on me. 
Gerard is dead also.
My eyes suddenly flung open and much to my dismal, it was him. I was happy to see his face but the chance of both of us being dead was extremely high. 
"Doctor! Nurse! Someone, hes awake!" Gerard called. Oh fuck.
I was alive!
Gerard was okay, hes alive!
But how the fuck did I get here, that's what I want to know. I opened my mouth to talk and an awful pain shot up through my entire body. 
"Frankie, don't move of talk, you're injured pretty badly. I'll explain what happened in a bit. I love you." he barely managed as he was pulled out and was replaced by numerous doctors and nurses. 

"How did he survive?"
"Is this possible?!"
"Its a miracle."
"Thank god for this."
This was the sound that filled the room along with beeps and bangs of heavy machinery and painful looking devices. 

After quite a long time of prodding, touching and putting needles in me, they all dispersed and left me in peace. I sat there for a few minutes thinking about what happened. How did Gerard find me? Did he even manage to find me of was it that loud bang that drew some people's attention. That's the last thing I remember before blacking out- the big bang. Before I have time to think through what the heck it could've been, my raven haired boy entered the room. 
"Gee-" I managed, it was a lot more easier to talk now. 
"Frankie, I'm so happy you made it. I never doubted that you wouldn't though, you're so strong." he said as brushed my hair out of my face. I smiled at him and raised my hand just so much that I covered his hand with my own. 
"What happened?" I asked pathetically. 
"Obviously, you was taken and I was left behind to think of where you would be. I searched the parking lot, knowing they had a car and managed to find your note. I refused to let that be the last message between us and I knew who took you- you probably figured it out by now who he was and what he was to me-" he trailed off sadly. I nodded and stroked the back of his hand with my thumb for reassurance. He understood and picked up from where he was. 
"Well, I ran to the police station, knowing that if I went in on my own we would both be dead and an Officer named Officer Stump and PC Wentz followed my directions to where you could be. I managed to locate the place you was being held and by then, backup had arrived and all of that gang were taken down, including Bert." 
I shivered at the mention of his name. Bert McCracken. I would never forget that name. 
"It looks like we arrived just in time. If that knife went in any deeper, it would've cut through your most vital part of your neck and you wouldnt be able to breath. I'm so glad we found you then."
"Thank you Gerard. I never stopped thinking about you though. You was the only hope for me." I told him in honestly. He smiled but soon enough, that smile was wiped off his face. 
"But it's my fault you're in this mess. People may want to come after us for putting Bert away. I doubt it, but it's a possibility. I'm so fucking sorry, I'm such a fuck up."
"You may well be a fuck up Gee, but so am I. We can be each others fuck ups." I soothed. Gerard chuckled and leant his head on my chest. 
"You hear that Gerard? That's my heart. It was so empty before you came into my life and when you did, it came to life, as if you had the key to it and all my love came gushing out uncontrollably. It's here, still beating and it beats only for you. Don't ever think that I could live without you- because we've just proven that we can't. Never leave me." I said. Gerard looked up at me with tears in his eyes, raised his head slightly and kissed me gently. 
"I will never leave you. I would never think of it." he reassured me. 

We sat there for ages, enjoying each others company and thanking god, if he's up there, for this miracle. I don't want to think of what Gerard would do or what he would be like if I had actually died. In my mind, he wouldn't continue the band at all, all the songs we do we have come up with. I'm pretty sure he would again stop talking to people and possibly stop singing all together. That broke my heart. But what really did make me incredibly upset was that I know Gerard has a- history- with depression and everything that surrounds it, would he go back to his old ways? Hating himself? self harm? Suicide? I mentally shook myself to stop thinking about that and looked down at my angel. He looked peaceful, so happy that I was still here. I've never felt this before, my life actually matters to someone. Whether I live or die matters to someone and it made me feel valued. 

A noise disturbed us from our moment as three people entered the room. Mikey, Mrs Way and my mom. The two moms were actually talking to each other, making casual conversation as Mikey just entered the room as fast as he could and dropped to his knees beside my bed. 
"I'm so sorry about this Frank, oh fuck you don't deserve this." he said as he began to cry. Gerard raised himself from me and comforted his brother, hugging him and whispering something to him. I could just make out that Gerard told Mikey that it wasn't his fault and that he should never blame himself. After that, Mikey seemed to calm down but the immense sadness in his eyes were c,early visible. We sat in a regretful silence as the moms walked in and stood at the entrance. Almost in unison, they cried. Not loudly, but tears were falling down their cheeks as Mrs Way joined Gerard and Mikey on one side and my mom joined me on the other. My mom was the first to speak. 
"I must be the worlds most awful mom, I don't know what to say Frankie, I never thought anything like this would ever happen to-"
"No mom, it's okay, it isn't anyone's fault apart from the man that will be put behind bars soon. Please don't blame the Ways- they did the best they could to protect me." I explained. 
"Frank- I'm also sorry, I'm so happy that Gerard found you and brought help but I can't help feeling like it was us to blame." Mrs Way Imputted. I sighed audibly and rose a little bit from my bed so I could see them all better. 
"Nothing was anyone's fault. You've all been so kind and so incredible over the past few weeks and I could never repay you for your kindness."
Everyone lowered themselves to hug me, Gerard lingering so that he could kiss me quickly before pulling away. 
"The only thing I regret is making You Mrs Way and mom meet in such circumstances." I admitted as both of the moms laughed. They seemed to like each other and that's all that mattered. 

After a few words were exchanged, everyone except Gerard left. 
"Do you want me to explain to them?" he asked. 
"Yeah, I think thats for the best. I don't want any secrets between us all. 
With that, Gerard left and I could see them all sat in the waiting room outside. Mom and Mrs Way sat next to each other and Mikey on a little chair while Gerard stood with his back to my door, explaining everything, mainly to my mom. I could see Mrs Way crying mostly for which my mom comforted her and embraced her, making sure she was okay. 
I bring so much sadness to such good people. 
Nobody really came in my room for a while and I had nothing to read or play so I decided to sing, just for a bit. Something that meant what I was feeling right now. 

'isn’t it obvious I’m a wreck, 
i set these fires just for you.
isn’t it obvious i’ve calmed down, 
i saved my breakdowns just for you. 
i’m hell-bent on slipping away.
i felt you slowly turn away.
i’ve seen rock bottom, and it was love at very first sight.
i’ve been asleep what seems like days.
these dreams i love are just a phase. 
this life i loathe is in my way'.'

Yep. That's pretty much it. I'm a major fuck up and I don't understand how I've got someone as good as him with a family just as good. Maybe the devil was being kind to me before he damns me to hell, I dont know. But I guess I should enjoy it for now. 

Notes

OKAY! I'm so sorry for leaving it on such a cliffhanger so I updated quickly to confirm HE IS NOT DEAD.
P.s. I'm sorry for giving you a heart attack.

heres my joke of the day!
what did Gerard say when he lost his house key?
"Where's My-Key?!"
okay you may return to your lives! Bye!