Deep in Thought

~~~~Franks POV~~~~

I couldn’t get Gerard off my mind, it was awful. I was awful. I brought him to that stupid place, and let him be basically raped by that guy. I knew he was somewhat fragile. I mean the first time I saw him, he was standing in shock at almost being hit by a door. Then got knocked on his ass five minutes later. I really regretted taking him to that party, I honestly just wanted to spend time with him. Now that I think of it, maybe just seeing a movie would have been a better idea. I was not known for my brilliant date ideas.

After taking him home, texting him, not sleeping all night, and hoping he was okay, he finally responded. When he told me to come over, I practically fell on my face trying to get to my car quickly. I would make this right, if it was the last thing I did.

I broke every speed limit trying to get there as soon as possible, like he requested. And when I got to the door, my nerves where on edge. What if he wasn’t okay? What if he decided to hate me? I couldn’t live with myself if I’d fucked up that much.

My hand hovered over the door handle before I took a deep breath and opened it. Once I was in, I locked the door, just to be on the safeside. The house was so quiet, and as I looked around I realised I didn’t know where his room was. Great. It wasn’t that big of house, but I didn’t want to be intrusive. I walked out of the front room and looked down the hallway. I went down the hall and opened the first room quietly, and looked in. There he was, his face peeking out from beneath all the blankets that he had wrapped around himself.

I slipped into the room as silently as I could, and looked around. Not much sunlight, if any, filtered in through the large window. It was as if the room was a prison cell. I watched Gerard sleeping, his face placid. I don’t know how long I stood there, but as a tear fell from his closed eyes, and his face distorted into pure sorrow, I broke from my stance and kneeled by his bed.

“Hey Gerard, its okay, wake up…” I wiped the tear off his face, and his eyes fluttered open.

“Don’t touch me” he said firmly, his eyes watching me intently. I looked down and frowned.

“Sorry, I just, anyway I’m here”

“Ya, thanks for uh coming. I just, I needed someone else to read this.” His hand made its way out from under his pillow as he handed me his phone. I took it and looked at him confused.

“Just go to the text messages, and read the unknown sender one.” I nodded, and did as he said. He watched me carefully as I read the text. I felt my face get red with anger, and I knew exactly who had sent this.

“Who is this guy Gerard?”

“The same one from the party.”

“I figured, but who is he to you?”

“He um, we, we use to date…” I studied his face, and he avoided my eyes.

“Did he abuse you before Gerard?” He frowned nodding, tears starting to form in his eyes.

“Who doesn’t abuse me?!” He screamed all of a sudden, sitting up away from me.

“I’ve been beaten by my family for most of my life! My grandpa use to take his belt off and whip me! My mum would take coat hangers and hit me till i couldn’t walk. Then when I got to school all of the students beat me up! I’d come home complain to my mum and she’d hit me and tell me to shutup. Ah! but then I thought my prayers were answered when Jacob asked me out. It was nice. He was nice. But, for me things are never easy, and there he was hitting me. Abusing me!” He pulled his knees to his chest and started crying, avoiding me.

“I’m so sor-”

“DON’T! DON'T FUCKING SAY YOU’RE SORRY! I FUCKING DESERVED IT OKAY? AND I DON'T DESERVE ANYONES SYMPATHY!” I looked at him in horror. His face was so red, and he seethed rage.

“Gerard, just listen” he tried to interupt me but I continued. “You didn’t deserve that shit, no one deserves that. To be constantly beaten, by everyone and anybody, and the people who should love you. No one deserves it, even the people who did it to you don’t deserve it. I know you believe that you deserved it and you don’t deserve sympathy, but you do. You deserve to be loved and to be cared for, not to be ruined and tossed aside.” When I finished I got up on the bed and pulled him into a hug. He tried to pull away from me, but finally just broke down and cried into my chest. When he calmed down, I let him go and he smiled slightly.

“Have you eaten today?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Umm, maybe a couple days ago? I had coffee.”

“Get up, I’m going to make you something, no protesting you need to eat.” He looked like he was going to argue, but I hurried out of his room to the kitchen. A few minutes later he came in and collapsed in a chair.

“You are a jerk, Frank.”

“I know Gerard, but I’m a caring jerk. Soo…” I looked in the fridge to find it mostly empty, accept for some milk, eggs, and butter. I frowned and looked in the pantry to also find that it was void of any real food. He looked at me amused, almost laughing.

“So, whatcha gonna make me Frankie?” I tried to ignore him smirking at me, as I was trying to think about what I could make. Then it came to me.

“I’m going to make you, some of my famous pancakes!”

“Famous? hmm… so they must be good then?”

“The best pancakes you’ve ever had, trust me on this.” he smiled and laughed at me, which in turn made me smile. His laugh and smile were simply contagious. When his face lit up, I swear the world stopped for a moment. I wonder how long it’s been since he’d smiled and laughed. He tilted his head to the side a bit and smirked at me.

“Are you going to keep staring at me, or cook for me?” I felt my cheeks heat up and I busied myself with cooking. I would glance at him quickly, in between steps to see he was off in his world somewhere. I wish I knew where he went, and what took his head. His face didn’t show any emotion, it was like he was frozen. It would have been a really lovely sight if his practically snow white skin wasn’t covered in purple bruises and angry cuts. I felt a wave of guilt hit me as I realized I had been the reason he was so destroyed at the moment.

I pushed it aside for the moment to serve him my glorious pancakes. He looked at the pancakes then me and raised an eyebrow. He took a bite of them and closed his eyes and smiled.

“So princess do you approve of my cooking?” He blushed and took another bite.

“I don’t know, I mean its good, but how can I judge you cooking skills if all I get to base them on is a silly stack of pancakes? hmm?”

“Oh no, aw hell nah! You didn’t just call my pancakes silly!” He giggled at my response and continued eating.

“Well princess, since you have called my spectacular pancakes silly, and you say that you can’t judge my undeniable skills, I guess… Well I guess you’ll have to come to my kitchen, and let me cook for you again.” He laughed at me again, and god did I love the way his face lit up as he did.

“Fine, fine, but what will be served?”

“That sugar, is a surprise. So tomorrow is Thursday, how about we do it then? I will be prompt and arrive whenever I am instructed to, and take you to my humble abode.”
“Nine ‘o'clock on the dot! A minute late, and I will not speak to you again!” He stuck his nose in the air as he said that, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Wow! Harsh! Its a date then!” He blushed profusely when I said date, but I just wiggled my eyebrows at him. That earned me a laugh. He needs to laugh more, it is the best thing in the world.

“Now, I have to ask you to vacate my property, as it’s two ten and the owner of this house will soon arrive. She, to say the least, would be very displeased to see that you are here.” He looked a little disappointed as he said it, but tried to say it as light as he possible could.

“As you wish princess.” I smirked.

“Really Frank, did you seriously just quote the Princess Bride?!”

I gasped and put my hand to my chest “I would never!”

“Right, now shoo!” I got up laughing and he walked me to the door. He waved to me then closed it behind me. I was smiling like an idiot as I made my way to my car. I had a date with this lovely boy and he didn’t completely hate me. Today had probably been my most successful day ever. And as a bonus, I got him to laugh multiple times. Ya, today was a very good day.

Notes

What do you think?? It ended kinda happy. So will Frank fuck it up?? Lets see how evil I am.

I have to take the SAT's on march 14 and like no. BUtttt I get to see fall out boy the next day, thennn Frank the day after that. I'm soo soo happy. Now gerard need to come to my state, and I need to see him, and my life will basically be complete. I have no idea why I just shared all that, but it just happened. Thank so much for reading <3