Deep in Thought

“You should have told me you played in a band!” Gerard poked Frank in the arm as he drove them to the bar.

“Didn’t think you’d be into guys in bands.” Frank shrugged smiling a bit.

“Frank, you gotta be fucking kidding. In the time you’ve spent with me what am I always wearing?”

“Extremely tight skinny jeans?”

Gerard slapped Frank’s arm jokingly “ ‘course thats all you notice. Looking at my ass, shame on you Frank, but no I’m talking about my shirts! Always band shirts! sheesh.”

“Oh never noticed,” Frank said offhandedly.

“Jerk” Gerard muttered, looking out the window.

“You know I’m joking right?” Frank glanced over at Gerard who was off in his head. Frank glowered. He really needed to find a way to ask Gerard where he went, what he thought. Obviously, he’d developed it because of all the shit he’d been through, but was it like his ‘happy place?’

“Singer…” Gerard muttered out, shaking his head slightly as he came back to the real world. Frank eyes flickered over to Gerard in confusion. Gerard sighed as he realized he had to clarify why he’d muttered that.

He raised his hand and gestured them widely around, trying to find the words. “I always wanted to sing in a band. Always thought it’d be fun.” He shrugged and raked his hand through his hair, reflexively.

“Why don’t you become one?”

Gerard snorted in disbelief, “Ya right Frank, the parentals would soooo love that” He said sarcasm practically dripping of the words as he said them. “Plus,” he continued “i don’t have a good enough voice for it.”

And just like that Frank had an idea. Probably the worst idea, well not the worst, the party was the worst, but one that could either end with Gerard happy or Gerard very very angry or upset. Frank decided to at least run the idea by Ray, before acting on it.

Soon enough, Frank parked his car behind the back of a bar. It wasn’t in the best neighborhood, and the stage was small, but it was intimate. You could be close to your audience, and in Frank’s case climb on them. Ray was standing out back, unloading his van with Bob and John; Frank and Gerard made their way over to them. As Gerard got closer to them he started to move behind Frank slightly and stiffen up. Frank reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Gerard sent him a grateful smile in return.

“Gerard! So good to see you again!” Ray said beaming at them.

“Hey Ray, Sorry ‘bout last night” Frank said hesitantly.

“You can make it up to me Frank if you help carry your crap in”

“Hey! Pansy is not crap man!” He defended, dropping Gerard’s hand and grabbing his case out of the van.

“I can, um” Gerard scratched his head nervously, “Help? If you want?”

“Ya that’d be great Gee, here take pansy, I need to talk to Ray.” Frank handed Gerard the case, and he gingerly took it following Bob inside the bar.

“Okay Ray I had an idea.”

“Noo Frank nooo, not one of your ideas!” Ray joked.

“Hey! It’s a good one... I think.” Ray motioned for Frank to continue. “Well Gerard wanted to be a singer, but his parents, aren't really supportive. So I was thinking maybe he could, you know sing a song tonight?”

Ray studied Frank, “You really like this kid huh?” he finally said. “Not a kid” Frank muttered. “Ya how old is he?” Ray questioned.

“Seventeen I think”

“You think? You didn’t ask?” Frank shook his head. “Well I think your idea might work.”

“Really!” Frank squeaked out in disbelief.

“Ya I mean, you like him and he likes you. Can’t hurt, but I don’t think you shouldn’t tell him your plan before the show.” Frank raised an eyebrow at Ray. “I mean, Gerard doesn’t look like the kind of person to be like “ya sure I’d be super duper glad to possibly embarrass myself in front of strange people in a bar’ you know? So at the end of our set if we say hey were going to have a special guest sing a song, that might go better.”

“Ray I need to run idea’s by you more often.” Frank smiled up at Ray. Ray was an absolute genius. Had to be the hair.

“We’ll have him sing Common People, or Desolation Row, he looks like he’s a Bob Dylan kind of guy.” Frank nodded in agreement, as they hauled the last of their equipment in through the back door.

*

~Gerard's POV~

“So how long have you known Frank?” Bob asked.

“A couple of weeks” I replied, Bob nodded and said “He’s a cool dude,” as he plugged some cords in. “You're a little young for him don’t you think?” Bob questioned gruffly.

“Excuse me?” I was taken aback by his question. What’s that supposed to mean, did he think we were dating?

“You’re what 16? He 20, you shouldn’t even be at this bar.”

“I’m 17 thank you! I’ll be eighteen in six months…”

“Too young for him,” he said shaking his head. Who does he think he is?

“So Gee,” A voice said behind me taking me away from the thought of kicking Bob in his family jewels, “You know Bob Dylan, and Pulp right?” I turned and saw Frank walking on the stage with Ray.

“Yay I do. Why?” Frank pursed his lips “No reason, just wondering.” He avoided eye contact with me, and I knew something was up. No one ever ask a question that random without it having a real reason behind it.

I was going to question Frank’s intentions, but I was shooed off to the side of the stage as they opened the show. Frank was grinning like a mad man holding his guitar and asking the crowd how they were doing.

Their sound as they played was raw, and Frank, Frank was alive. He was in his element throwing his body and guitar around, screaming into the microphone. Occasionally in between songs I’d catch his eye and he’d beam at me, causing me to blush and grin back. I envied him, he was so into what he did. He was meant to be up there. That what he existed for, to throw his small frame into the crowd, and crash around as he sang so passionately. Frank was living his dream.

I felt my heart crash into the pit of my stomach, I wasn’t living, I was barely existing. Hiding in my room all the time. I’d never risk trying to be a singer or a comic book artist like I’d like to be. I liked feeling safe, and risking the security of my room to be someone I wanted to be was something I couldn’t handle.

A part of me tried to remind me what I was doing. I had snuck out with Frank so many times, to do who knows what. I took big risks there, and I took an even bigger one explaining part of why I was so fucked up to Frank.

“So we have someone with us today...” I looked up in confusion at Frank, who was taking a sip of water. He was drenched in sweat, his hair dripping from his energetic performance.

“... He’s a really nice dude, an even better guy. He had this dream, since he was a kid, as many of you probably did. I know I had somewhat of the same dream, ‘cept more aimed towards playing a guitar in a band. But anyway he wanted to sing, and I want to give him the chance tonight.” He looked at me and I was shaking my head. I wasn’t going to get up there and embarrass myself, in front of drunk people. “He’s going to need some motivation, he’s a bit shy…” He turned and addressed the crowd, “ His names Gerard, you think you can scream for him? He needs some motivation.” The crowd cheered, but I wasn’t going to move and Frank knew it. He walked backstage and pouted.

“Please Gerard? It’s your chance, and I’ll be there the whole time okay?” He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers. “What are you afraid of Gee? They’re going to love you I promise.”

“Pulp, or Dylan,” I muttered out realizing why he asked. His eyes silently pleaded with me. “fine, but if i embarrass myself I get to murder you no questions asked.” I relented. What could I do? Run out and ruin Frank and I’s more-than-a-friend relationship? I couldn’t do that to him, or to me. Frank seemed to get me and he was just being nice, giving me a chance to live. What did I have to lose? I have no dignity, just a bundle of nerves.

Frank gave me a huge grin “You gonna be great! I just have this feeling” He gave me a quick peck on the check, before pushing me out onto the stage. I stumbled out and the crowd roared. My palms became clammy from nerves. I quickly wiped them on my thighs before grabbing the mic.

“Hi, um I’m Gerard,”

“YOUR SO HOT!” I heard someone yell from the back. “Thanks” I looked down blushing.

“Hey! Everybody stop harassing our special guest! He might just not come back!” Frank scolded good naturedly. “So Gee Pulp, or Dylan”

“Dylan, Desolation Row?”I always dreamed of singing it.

“Yes! but, Gee were more punk so you ready for that?” Frank questioned. I nodded excitedly, I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through my veins, I was so pumped. Bob started on the drums, and then Frank and Ray’s guitar started screaming out, and we were off. The lyrics came to me easily and I sang. The crowd was thrashing around in time with the music, and unsurprisingly so was Frank.

I had never felt more alive in my life. Some people need pain to feel alive, but I had a lifetimes worth of pain. the vibes resonating from the crowd, and being on stage with a person I really enjoyed, was better than any high had ever brought me.

From Desolation Row

I sang the last line, and the crowd screamed for more. I looked at Frank and he mouthed ‘pulp’ at me.

“uh, looks like I’m going to do one more with them. Is common people by pulp okay?” The crowd screamed and, Ray and Frank nodded at me. “Cool” I grinned.

She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge

Each breath I took, and each word I sang, I felt as If they were my first. Every part of me was being brought back to life. I was living, finally living. And I had Frank to thank for bringing me back to life.

Notes

I wanted to thank you all for your comments about the last chapter. I would have contacted one of you to talk, but I don't want be a bother. Here's a crappy chapter, kind of a filler, the next one I have a plan for and, it'll be better promise x

4/20 blaze it
Hallelujah

I GOT THE ELECTRIC CENTURY EP, stood for three hours, bought 20 comic books while waiting, no regrets at all.

Thank you for reading, commenting, voting, being you! Promise next chapter will be better, this was a lazy attempt at a filler. but it has some hints? as to where the story will go? Can you tell? Foreshadowing? *hint hint* ((maybe bob related?))