G e r a r d

My mother once said
That a day spent
Helping others is a day
Well spent.
I guess that was just her
Way of life.

As for me I’m different.
I see a day well spent
Being a day alone away
From the world. A day
Spent in solitude.

I guess that’s just something we
Never had in common.

I remember the day before
She left this world.

She was so sick but still insisted
On telling us that she was
Feeling perfectly fine for our own sake.

Even when faced with
The pain of dying she cared
More about us than
Her own wellbeing.

I think about that
Day when I’m feeling
Sorry for myself
Like I am right now.

Left with a brother
Who I’d give the world
To if he only let me.

Working a job that kills
Me more and more
Each day.

Driving
Around with
A kid that not only
Confuses me but pisses
Me off beyond my limits.

We pull down the street,
Him looking aimlessly
Out the window into the
Darkness of the night.

“You know, I know
Mikey is up to something.”
I say bluntly,
Looking over briefly at
Frank who snapped
Out the his small
Trance.

“And?” he smirked
At me.

“And it would
A very adult thing
Of you to do,
If you told me.”

The boy’s laughter
Fills the car.

“That’s funny because
I’m not an adult.”

“Then maybe I’ll just
Turn back and go
See what Mikey’s up
To myself…” I say,
Knowing that idea
Would only make
Mikey trust me less.

Frank shrugged
“Then turn back.”

I sigh,
Letting my hands
Loosen around the wheel.

“Where we going?”
I ask after a long pause.

“Huh?” he utters,
Looking back at me.

“It’s obvious Mikey want’s us
Gone, and I don’t want to
Fuck things up with him even more,
So what is it we’re doing to
Pass the time?” I say,
My temper growing even shorter.

Spending time
Driving around
With Frank is
Not my idea of
A Good night.

“A liquor store
Would be nice”

“I know some where
Even better.”

---

“You work here?”
Frank says,
His eyes darting around
The empty bar.
Jimmy usually closes
Early on Monday’s.

“Yeah. It’s not the best job
But it’s something.”

“I’ve seen you outside
This place like a
Million times, I thought
You were just a drunk…”

I roll my eyes and walk
Behind the counter,
Pulling out
Two glasses.

“Vodka?”
I ask, grabbing
The bottle of Smirnoff
From the
Rack underneath
The bar.

“Of course.”
He says,
Sitting across the
Bar, looking at me
With a strange smile.

“What?” I ask,
Giving him a
Weird look as
I pour a generous
Amount of vodka in
Each glass.

“You’re a good brother.”
He says,
His eyes staying focused
On mine.
“Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know. It was just
Something I was thinking.
But it’s true. You’re a really
Good brother. Mikey’s
Lucky to have you.”

He looks at me
For a few moments,
Before picking up his
Glass and downing
At least half
Without a flinch.

“And what about you?”
I ask, taking a sip
From my own
Glass.

“What
About me?”
He repents.

“Any brothers? Sisters?”
I clarify,
Noticing his glass is
Empty and wordlessly
Refilling it to the brim.

Frank laughs lightly,
His eyes looking off into
The empty bar.

“Yeah. I have an older sister,
But we don’t talk…”

And the curiosities grow.
“Why not?”

“It’s complicated”
Here we go with the
Vague answers.

“I can take it.”
I smile at the boy.
Frank may not be that
Bad after all when he’s
Slightly intoxicated
And not being
An annoying
Little brat.

“I’m not the best with
People that care about
Me…especially ones that
Would do anything to
Save me from myself.”

“I get that.
We push away the ones
We love the most in
Fear of hurting
Them.” I say.

“Yeah.”
He says,
Followed by a long
Silence, which is
Interrupted by
Laughter.

“What’s so funny?”
I ask finishing off
My glass
And refilling it.

“Nothing.
It’s just I never thought
I’d ever relate to the
Guy’s I wanna fuck.”

And there’s
The anger.

Notes

Hi everyone. I know I said i was going to update soon but, opps, im an ass.
Any way thank you all for reading, voting, subing, ect.!!! Please Please Please let me know if you liked it in the comments <3 I'm super happy with this story so far so I'll try to get things moving along faster <3
-Phobias.