G e a r a d

I hate working
Friday nights.
Clusters of
Drunks, druggies,
And hookers fill
The bar.
The noise of
Intoxicated murmurs
And sickening
Flirtation surround me.

“Hey….When do you get
Off work big boy? Lookin for
A little fun?” I turn my attention
To a thin girl with ratty
Brown hair, who’s wearing
Next to nothing. I roll my eyes
At her, sighing.
“Are you even old enough
To be in a bar?” I ask.

“For your information
I’m 22” She retorts angrily,
Turning her attention to
Some 30 year old biker dude.

Oh, the joys of downtown New Jersey.
Oh, the joys of my life.

I wish things were simper.
I wish I could get a stable job.
I wish my brother wasn’t so difficult to care for.
I wish I got out more.
I wish. I wish. I wish.

If only wishes come true.
But nothing is handed to you,
You have to work for it.
You have to fight for it.

Maybe I’m not meant to win.
Maybe I’m one of the one’s who fail
So others can thrive. I’m a proxy.

Soon, thankfully, my shift
Ends. I make my way outside,
Quickly lighting a smoke as I
Make my way to my car.
How I can’t wait to be home
In the darkness of my room.

“Hey you!” A voice calls out.
Great.
I turn around, too see him.
Even better.
“Um. What?” I say, impatiently.
“You’re that
Guy right? From the other night.”
“Yea.
What about it?” I ask, staring at the
Boy I
Recently learned was named
Frank.

“I just wanted to say sorry man.
Listen I got some dope if you try’na
Shoot up tonight. To make it up to
You.” What a surprise, he’s a druggie
Too…

“Thanks but no thanks.” I say turning
Away from him, starting back
Down the street.
“Hey!”
He calls out again.
I groan, my patients for
This kid lowering even more. “What?”

“You gotta cute ass…” He say’s smirking.
“What are you like 12?”
“I’m 16. But I suck cock like I’m 21.” He winks.
God this kid infuriates me.
“Good for you.” I say, opening the door to
My car.
“See you around.” He says grinning.

“I sure as hell hope not.”

---

Home sweet home.
It has to be almost
Midnight. God I’m
Drained. I make my
Way to my dark room,
Turning on the lights.

It’s messy, of course.
Clothes on the floor,
The bed a tangled hell,
Empty cup recently used for
Vodka on almost every surface.
If anyone who wasn’t me
Where to see it they’d say it was a
Depressing hole. But it’s my
Depressing hole.

I flop on the bed,
Throw my self under
The blanket and close
My eyes.
Hoping that sleep
Overcomes me sooner
Then later.

But it doesn’t.
I lie in bed awake.
My eyes staring
At the ceiling.

Time ticks by
1 am. 2 am.
3 am. 4 am.
I hate this.

How could someone
Who loves to sleep
So much never be able
To do it? I don’t get it.
I probably never will.

I sigh sitting up and walking
Out of my depressing hole.
Walking past Mikey’s room.
But I hear something, strange.
“No…I don’t know…This isn’t
Right…………I know I know….
But………..Haha yeah…….Okay.
Okay, I’ll think about it…..No
Really, I will. Okay…..Bye.”

Who could he be talking
To this late?
A million scenarios
Play out in my head
Of who it could be.
All worse than the
Next. I hope he’s
No getting himself
In any trouble. The
Kid can’t take
Anymore
Stress.

Time to investigate.
I lightly knock on his
Door, before opening it.
Mikey goes completely
Pale face, looking up at
Me. “Hey…Just wanted to
See if you were up. I could have
Sworn I heard talking.” I say
Hoping to get some sort of response.

“I didn’t hear anything” He says,
In a nervous voice.

“Hm…I thought I heard something,
Guess I was wrong…” I say my eyes
Not leaving him once.

“Haha…Yea I guess” He says,
Calming down a bit.

“Well…I’m gonna make a
Run to the liquor store.
Wanna come for the ride?” I ask,
Hoping for a yes so I can score
More interrogation time.
“No thanks…I’m…Pretty tired.”
Shit.
“Okay then. Talk to you later Mikes…”

Guess I have to wait to find out.
As for now, the cold New Jersey
Night calls to me.
As well as a Bottle of vodka.

After the short ride to
“Kilo’s Liquor and Beer Hub”
And a 19.99 bottle of Vodka.
I’m standing outside,
Bottle in hand,
Taking a few swigs of the
Bitter liquid before the ride home.

“Well well…You’re just every where
Aren’t you cutie?”

And there is Frank,
Covered by a dark hoodie
And tight grey jeans,
Staring right at me.

“Are you stalking me or something?” I say,
Raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe it’s you that’s stalking me.
I happen to live right there…” the boy says
Pointing across the street to a row home.

“Great” I groan “First at work, then at my
Brothers school, now at my favorite fuckin
Liquor store…” I say to myself.

“Your brother goes to Belleville High?!” Frank exclaims,
“What’s his name?”

“None of your business kid” I sigh, taking another
Swig from the bottle before walking over
To my car.
“So bye”

“Wait!” He yells, as I open the door.
“What?”
“Your fly’s down…” He giggles to himself.
I groan and get in my car slamming the door.
What a little brat.

Notes

Hey. Sorry about the long time, no update thingy. But Chapter four is here now! Were starting to see a little more Frankie now, And some secrets with Mikey ;D And just a little more manic depressive Gerard XD. Anyway Thanks so much for reading. Please Please Rate/Sub If you liked and, and feel free to comment, I love feed back. As alway,
-Phobias


P.s
Title credits to "Don't stand so close to me" By The Police.