Vision
Chapter 5: Letter Mechanic
Chapter 5: Letter Mechanic
When I woke up I heard shouting from the other room and it looked like the door was closed. I wasn’t sure how long Patrick had stayed in the room after I fell asleep but there was now a chair next to the bed I was resting in. He must have also taken off the glasses I had been given because they were on the table also next to the bed. Their argument must be about something extremely important because of how loud they were being, and then I heard my name mentioned.
“It isn’t your decision Brendon!”
“Oh so who’s is it Patrick? It is your decision? We are all involved now so, news flash! What we do with Christine isn’t fucking up to you!”
This was followed by an awkward silence, until a quiet voice spoke up, it must be Gerard.
“It isn’t either of your decisions. It’s hers!” The last part shouted just as loud as Brendon and Patrick had been before.
“You know we can’t do that Gerard. We don’t know what she was wrapped up in, this could be a gang or the mafia we just don’t fucking know. No matter what, we cannot, under any circumstance, let the press get a hold of this.” Brendon was speaking at a normal volume again but I could still hear them. I decided to get up and join the conversation, Gerard was right, seeing as the conversation was about me I should at least be involved in it.
As I began to rise from the bed, using my arms as support a searing pain ripped through my left shoulder, the pain was too intense and I couldn’t help but cry out. The shouting stopped for a moment before all three of them burst through the door finding me fallen to the floor on my stomach holding my left arm in close to my body. I knew whatever cut was on my back had ripped open again because I felt my back becoming warm and sticking to the t-shirt I was wearing. Gerard ran over to me and gently lifted my shirt to assess the damage.
“I thought I told you to be careful Chris.” I could hear the smirk in his voice, “Lucky for you I bought a shit ton of band aids and other crap.”
He patted my lower back carefully, and left the room to get the supplies while Patrick and Brendon helped me back onto the bed. I leaned more into Patrick as the raised me onto the bed, I think Brendon realized this because he glared at me for a moment before his gaze softened when he noticed that I was trying to hide how truly terrified I was to be so near him. When they left the room I heard Brendon whisper something to Patrick that sounded like,
“Can I have a minute with her?” Patrick nodded his head and left, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with Brendon, and I can’t remember being more terrified that night than I was at that exact minute. Even though Gerard and Patrick were right in the next room over, I was paralyzed with fear. Brendon looked down at his feet as he walked over to me and sat on the chair next to the bed. I was extremely vulnerable, laid on my stomach, still dizzy and faint with my back possibly gushing blood. But without warning, Brendon sighed and placed his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly, for a moment I thought he was laughing, mocking me, but after he took a deep breath and raised his head, his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.
“I’m sorry, dear God I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Excuse me?” I replied, surprised by his words.
“I said I am fucking sorry. I was so stupid, I thought they were being stupid but it was me, fuck I don’t even know you or what you have been through and I am already being an asshole.”
He nervously ran his hand through his hair, messing up the stiff and clean look of it. I didn’t have the slightest idea how to reply so I just nodded and started playing with the blanket I was wrapped in with my fingers. After about thirty seconds of silence, Brendon audibly sighed, obviously trying to get my attention. I looked up at him and saw that he was staring at me, had he been doing that this entire time?
“I need to tell you something and it isn’t going to be easy but the guys don’t want you to know yet but I think it is important and you seem strong enough to handle it so if you are okay with it I have to tell you something right this instant before they come back in here.” This was all rushed out in one long sentence, Brendon hardly breathing and continuing to seemingly hold his breath after, awaiting my response.
“Okay. Please tell me, anything that might give me more information about who I am could help.”
“I don’t know if this will help you figure out who you are but I still think you need to know. When we found you there was a bottle of pills next to you, sleeping pills I think, it was half empty, spilled all over the ground, but there were some in your hand. Chris, do you think you were trying to kill yourself?”
“Brendon I-“
My response was cut short by the door slamming open, revealing Gerard in a state of pure, terrifying rage.
When I woke up I heard shouting from the other room and it looked like the door was closed. I wasn’t sure how long Patrick had stayed in the room after I fell asleep but there was now a chair next to the bed I was resting in. He must have also taken off the glasses I had been given because they were on the table also next to the bed. Their argument must be about something extremely important because of how loud they were being, and then I heard my name mentioned.
“It isn’t your decision Brendon!”
“Oh so who’s is it Patrick? It is your decision? We are all involved now so, news flash! What we do with Christine isn’t fucking up to you!”
This was followed by an awkward silence, until a quiet voice spoke up, it must be Gerard.
“It isn’t either of your decisions. It’s hers!” The last part shouted just as loud as Brendon and Patrick had been before.
“You know we can’t do that Gerard. We don’t know what she was wrapped up in, this could be a gang or the mafia we just don’t fucking know. No matter what, we cannot, under any circumstance, let the press get a hold of this.” Brendon was speaking at a normal volume again but I could still hear them. I decided to get up and join the conversation, Gerard was right, seeing as the conversation was about me I should at least be involved in it.
As I began to rise from the bed, using my arms as support a searing pain ripped through my left shoulder, the pain was too intense and I couldn’t help but cry out. The shouting stopped for a moment before all three of them burst through the door finding me fallen to the floor on my stomach holding my left arm in close to my body. I knew whatever cut was on my back had ripped open again because I felt my back becoming warm and sticking to the t-shirt I was wearing. Gerard ran over to me and gently lifted my shirt to assess the damage.
“I thought I told you to be careful Chris.” I could hear the smirk in his voice, “Lucky for you I bought a shit ton of band aids and other crap.”
He patted my lower back carefully, and left the room to get the supplies while Patrick and Brendon helped me back onto the bed. I leaned more into Patrick as the raised me onto the bed, I think Brendon realized this because he glared at me for a moment before his gaze softened when he noticed that I was trying to hide how truly terrified I was to be so near him. When they left the room I heard Brendon whisper something to Patrick that sounded like,
“Can I have a minute with her?” Patrick nodded his head and left, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with Brendon, and I can’t remember being more terrified that night than I was at that exact minute. Even though Gerard and Patrick were right in the next room over, I was paralyzed with fear. Brendon looked down at his feet as he walked over to me and sat on the chair next to the bed. I was extremely vulnerable, laid on my stomach, still dizzy and faint with my back possibly gushing blood. But without warning, Brendon sighed and placed his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly, for a moment I thought he was laughing, mocking me, but after he took a deep breath and raised his head, his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.
“I’m sorry, dear God I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Excuse me?” I replied, surprised by his words.
“I said I am fucking sorry. I was so stupid, I thought they were being stupid but it was me, fuck I don’t even know you or what you have been through and I am already being an asshole.”
He nervously ran his hand through his hair, messing up the stiff and clean look of it. I didn’t have the slightest idea how to reply so I just nodded and started playing with the blanket I was wrapped in with my fingers. After about thirty seconds of silence, Brendon audibly sighed, obviously trying to get my attention. I looked up at him and saw that he was staring at me, had he been doing that this entire time?
“I need to tell you something and it isn’t going to be easy but the guys don’t want you to know yet but I think it is important and you seem strong enough to handle it so if you are okay with it I have to tell you something right this instant before they come back in here.” This was all rushed out in one long sentence, Brendon hardly breathing and continuing to seemingly hold his breath after, awaiting my response.
“Okay. Please tell me, anything that might give me more information about who I am could help.”
“I don’t know if this will help you figure out who you are but I still think you need to know. When we found you there was a bottle of pills next to you, sleeping pills I think, it was half empty, spilled all over the ground, but there were some in your hand. Chris, do you think you were trying to kill yourself?”
“Brendon I-“
My response was cut short by the door slamming open, revealing Gerard in a state of pure, terrifying rage.
Notes
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Love you all!
I would choose Brendon Urie.
3/21/17