Vision

Gerard looks at me with his brows furrowed, “Sorry about Brendon, he isn’t usually like this but he drinks a lot when he gets nervous. Well, he drinks a lot anyway but he doesn’t take it as well when he is nervous and possibly having someone’s life in his hands I guess might make him nervous, it sure as hell makes me nervous.” He glances at the door, “I should go after him, make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or get fucking lost again, this city, I swear. Will you be okay here with Patrick? Just shout for him if you need anything. Oh, and be careful, I will get more band aids while I am out but we don’t want you ripping any of them off before I get back.”
He gets up and gives me a half smile before walking into the other room presumably to tell Patrick where he is going, I hear the door close again, much quieter than when Brendon left and once again, quiet takes over the apartment.
I lay back down on my stomach with my face turned to the door connecting the two rooms, watching for anyone coming in. I didn’t feel like any more surprises so I didn’t want to give Patrick the option to sneak up behind me. I felt drowsy but didn’t want to fall asleep, I felt vulnerable enough already, true I trusted Gerard, but I still wasn’t sure about Brendon or Patrick, particularly Brendon. His drinking made me uncomfortable, even if what Gerard said was true, about him being stressed about me, I just didn’t like the thought of him being completely out of his mind drunk, especially with me in my weakened state. I watched the door for a while longer until I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and I fell into sleep’s warm embrace.
When I awoke, I found myself in a different embrace, arms in what felt like a thin denim fabric, surrounded my upper body. I opened my eyes to locks of blond hair obscuring my vision. I heard someone whispering in my ear, sounding almost desperate and half sobbing, and the voice was saying,
“Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, please wake up.” I tried to pull away but whoever was holding onto me was relentless. After I continued pushing them off of me, whoever it was finally let go. I must have left the glasses on when I fell asleep because I could see clearly that it was Patrick who had been holding onto me, his face was streaked with tears and his eyes still red behind a pair of glasses nearly identical to the one’s I was wearing.
He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, seemingly relieved that I had regained consciousness. Once he put his glasses back on he looked down at the floor and hugged his arms around himself, obviously uncomfortable with the situation.
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “You were scaring me, you were screaming and wouldn’t wake up, I didn’t know what else to do, you were shaking so much and scratching at your arms, and holy smokes, I was just terrified, I didn’t know how else to keep you still without hurting you, it was out of line I know.”
I didn’t know what to say, I just stared at him, he did seem genuinely sorry, it was at this moment that I knew I could trust Patrick as well as Gerard. However the thought of Brendon returning to the apartment as drunk and angry as he left scared me out of my mind. I knew he must be better sober, if not how could such nice people like Patrick and Gerard stand to be around him?
As I came out of my reverie of thoughts I noticed that Patrick was now staring at me, a look of deep concentration plaguing his face. He opened his mouth to say something but immediately thought better of it and closed it once more, his gaze returning to the floor. However, almost as soon as he looked down at the floor, his head snapped back up, a new determination in his eyes and he immediately blurted out his question.
“What were you dreaming about?”
He looked like he almost regretted asking when I didn’t answer right away but the determination stayed present in his eyes. His eyes were quite a strange color now that I really looked. They looked blue or grey from a distance but if you looked close enough they contained hints of green and even brown tones, quite a beautiful combination of colors. He continued to stare at me expectantly, waiting for an answer that he probably wouldn’t like.
“I don’t remember.” I half shrugged, “I remember a few small things, flashing lights, someone whispering to me, I don’t know what, but I imagine it upset me, quite a bit by your description of how I was acting.” I looked down at my hands and began picking at my fingernails nervously. “I’m sorry for scaring you, you’re probably regretting helping me now, I understand if you want me to leave.”
Patrick choked out a laugh that seemed almost painful, “I don’t regret helping you, I’m glad to help. You were so hurt and there was so much blood, you couldn’t even get up. We couldn’t just leave you there. Anyways, we all wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.”
“Speaking of the others, are Gerard and Brendon back yet?”
“No, don’t worry.”
“Why would I worry? Did I say something about either of them while I was asleep.”
“Well, kind of. You were screaming and crying and shouting for someone to stop hurting you and you screamed Brendon’s name and it didn’t sound like you were very happy with him. Are you sure you don’t remember anything else, anything at all? You sounded like you were in a lot of pain.”
I sat up quickly and tucked my knees up to my chest, wracking my brain for anything else I could be forgetting. I don’t know why Patrick expected me to be able to remember anything from my dream when I couldn’t even remember that my full name is Christine. Wait, my full name is Christine. I locked eyes with Patrick once again, my jaw dropped in shock, my memory was returning.
“Christine.” I said quietly.
“Come again?” replied Patrick, obviously confused at my strange behavior.
“My name! It’s Christine! Chris is short for Christine! I remember my name!”
Patrick seemed just as excited as I was since he jumped over and once more enveloped me in an awkward hug. When he pulled away from me his eyes were bright and his face smiling, genuinely smiling, maybe they do really care about me. I noticed just how cold it was in the room and wrapped my arms around myself to try and keep warm, Patrick must have noticed because before I knew it he was rushing out of the room and returned with a thick blanket in his hands. He walked around to the other side of the bed so he could wrap it around my shoulders; it was a ginormous blanket, even though mostly my whole body was covered, more still cascaded off the edge of the bed nearly to the floor. It was soft cashmere like fabric and I immediately decided that once I figured everything out and got back to wherever my home was I would be getting one for myself to keep. I lay back down and snuggled into the blanket, soon enough I was fast asleep once again.

Notes

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