...He stops in the door frame and brings his index and middle fingers to his eyes and then points them at Frank, gesturing that he’s watching him.

Gerard’s POV.

When the door finally shuts behind Ballash I let out a sigh of relief and fall back into the pillows. Frank approaches the bed and I expect him to (and kind of want him to) get on the bed and kiss me again, but he doesn’t. Instead he pulls the chair Ballash has been sitting on closer and sits on it, crossing his legs. He watches me expectantly, as if waiting for me to say something.

“So… how are you?” he asks as I glance away from him, not able to bear his heavy gaze.

“I’m okay, you?” I ask back, feeling kind of uneasy. Should I just pretend like nothing happened between us? Is he expecting me to confess my love to him or something? Because that’s probably not going to happen.

I’ll just go with the flow.

“I’m good, thanks,” he says after a moment of hesitation, and his eyes dart nervously around the room. Table-window-door-my hand-table-window… I wonder what is he thinking about. He plays with his thumbs before lifting his head up at me again.

“Gerard and about that… I’m sorry if I scared you or made you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t help it, the way you were lying and... and I’m-”

Does he still think I am going to reject him? I push myself up into a sitting position, because now lying on the bed seems awkward and even impolite.

“No, it’s okay, really,” I say and my cheeks heat up in a crazy embarrassed blush. Suddenly, out of no where, I get a great boost of bravery and self confidence, and I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

“I didn’t mind, I actually kinda liked it,” I add, and immediately regret it. What the fuck did I just say? Now I am making him feel uncomfortable, and he’s probably never going to want to see me again or hear my voice. He hates me because I’m just a piece of an asocial…

“Oh Gerard…” Frank breathes out and buries his face in his hands, not saying anything else. He doesn’t move, only his back rises slightly.

“Are you scared of me?” he asks, his voice muffled by his hands and I can hardly make out what he’s saying.

“No I’m not. I actually…” I start and pause. I actually what? Like him? Want to kiss him again? Think he’s the best human being to ever walk on earth and I’d be glad to be skinned just so he can have Gerard-shoes made of me?

“We are alone Gerard, and we need to get this situation straight,”

Shit, right now he definitely doesn’t sound like a 19 year old, more like a mature 40 year old man with a job and a family. I nod, and my heart thumps loudly in my chest, and I feel like I’m going to black out again. What is he going to say? Is he going to tell me it was all a joke or an accident?

But what kind of accident is kissing someone for at least 20 minutes?

“As you might have been able to tell Gerard, I like you quite a lot, but since I’m a counselor I am not allowed to be in any kind of relationship with you. Someone warned me that if I do something wrong you might even become sexually untouchable later on, and I wouldn’t want that to happen. I would never hurt you in any way, physical or mental, but accidents happen. However it’s really hard for me to stay away, and being around you is like poison to me. I wanted to get a taste of your lips so bad I couldn’t handle myself, and now you are forced to take a part in this hella awkward conversation,” he laughs in the end, trying to mix up the mood, but it’s really not helping.

“Frank I… God, I feel so awkward saying this and I’m probably going to cringe over this later on but… I… I paid attention to you ever since the first day, and I dreamed and fantasised about you being attracted to me…” I am wording my thoughts so badly, and I’m honestly very embarrassed. Frank’s eyes widen as he stares at me, his lips slightly parted. “And all of this honestly seems unreal to me, like a fairy tale, and I’m scared that I’m going to wake up and you’re going to be gone,” I blurt the last part out, stumbling on my own tongue.

There is a moment of silence, and I want nothing more than to black out again and not have to deal with this anymore. Suddenly Frank leaps from the chair onto the bed, startling me and I flinch away, but soon catch up with what’s happening. He wrapps his arms around me and presses me closer to him, our bodies colliding into one. His chin is rested on my shoulder, and he breathes softly into my ear. I lean even closer into his touch, and his arms tighten around me even more, crushing me, but I don’t mind. We sit still, enjoying each other’s presence, none of us wanting to interrupt the moment.

“Gerard?”

“Mhhm?”

“Does that mean that you…”

“Yeah,”

He pulls away and looks me dead in the eyes, before a warm smile parts his lips, revealing white teeth.

“You can’t imagine how happy you just made me,” he says.

“I’m glad I helped,” I say quietly and lean in, pressing a kiss to his lips. His hand shoots up, cradling my cheek. Everything feels so right.

Notes

This chapter was kind of hard to write because I didn't rly know how to actually develop their relationship into this somewhat "dating" thing, but here it is)) I hope you like it, but I personally think it could have been better. So feedback would be nice))

Everyone at my school are complete assholes. Teachers keep on giving us "anti bullying talks" and everyone from my class participates in them like "oh yeah we dont bully each other cuz its not nice and we are all rly rly sweet" and as soon as we get out from the classroom they start giving you this endless shitstorm, not appreciating your interests or whatsoever, just telling you how much you suck. And god forbid you say something positive about yourself!