Hold On Tight and Don't Look Back

Gerard’s P.O.V

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, How does Bryce keep finding Frank? I was barely gone for three minutes and when I walk back out to the parking lot Frank is on top of Bryce punching the shit out of him; I see blood coming out of his nose, mouth, eyebrow, he’s punching everywhere. I quickly pull Frank off of Bryce dragging him to the car that wasn’t to far away; not before Bryce shouts some threats towards Frank. I start the engine and take one last look to Bryce who is still on the parking lot ground holding his most likely broken nose and driving away. I drive a bit away before pulling over and looking to Frank.

“Frank what the hell happened?” I asked

“Bryce magically showed up and punched me so I fought back” he responded; I look over his face that’s focused on his hands and see a dark bruise on his jaw; I point it out to him and when Frank sees it he gets worried about what my mother would say…I actually don’t know how I will explain this to her, but I’ll figure it out.

“Do you think he was following me?” Frank looks worriedly at me

“No honey; we were just there at the wrong time” I try to assure…I fucking hope so. The ‘This isn’t over’ thing came true didn’t it? We make a small plan and drive home in silence; not even the radio filled the tension that was in the car…Bryce found Frank…again. I fucking swore to protect him but barely being gone three minutes ended up with that. How could Bryce just be randomly in the parking lot just as Frank was, there had to- NO, I shake the thought out of my head as we pull up to the house. We head inside and luckily mom and dad were already asleep…well that saved some time so we don’t have to talk about the bruise; we head upstairs and Frank says he’s going to the restroom. I nod and casually get into my pajamas; he’s been in there a while so I go to check on him

I arrive to the door and realize it’s cracked open; I open it more and my eyes go wider as I see Frank standing there holding something I didn’t even know that was in there…A small razor blade. Instead of going in there I watch as he stares at it for awhile before lifting up his shirt and looking down at his scars; he looks back to the blade and grips it tighter pulling it to his stomach. I was about to go in there and knock it out of his hand but all of a sudden he stops; I open the door a little more and lean against the side staring at him. He looks at the blade for another minute before quickly putting it back in the cupboard.

He didn’t do it? He didn’t do it. I’ve known I’ve never done it but that must take a lot of will power to be literally holding the blade in your hand inches away from your skin to just put it back; Frank’s eyes tear up and that’s my cue to announce my presence.

“Frank?” I say softly getting his attention; he looks to me surprised obviously not realizing anyone was watching

“Did you-“ he tries saying but I already know what the question was; I nod and come forward opening my arms to him. He eagerly complies and buries his head in my chest.

“I’m so sorry” his muffled voice says; why is he apologizing? I look to him and wipe off a tear that ran down his face.

“Let’s go talk” I explain and he nods.

We spend a couple moments of silence just me holding him before I tell him to go ahead.

“I went in and tried to see maybe if your mom had makeup to cover the bruise…and I saw the blades; my mind started to think about everything that’s happened with Bryce today and before. I lifted up my shirt t look at the scars and started thinking about Aaron and what he did; I was just over thinking everything. I started thinking of what people say at school; which was confusing because it’s never bothered me before; Everything bad that has happened to me, Aaron, Bryce, bullies, my parents…it was all on my mind; just everything”

So he was just thinking too much; I get it, people can sometimes over think things and there brain gets scrambled…it all depends on what you think of and how you react to it that makes a difference; in this case Frank took all of the bad things in his life and reacted to it by doing something he remembers from his past. Then in a more emotional case was that he tried to hurt himself again; I never want him to feel like he needs to do that. Just remembering the first time I found out he did do that when Bryce beat him up and I went home with him; just knowing that he never had anyone to talk to was just sad. But he has me now; I want him to know, and always know that he has me with him.

I comfort him and then Frank talks about why he did stop…he stopped because he thought of me, he thought about my family and how much we helped him. I knew my parents didn’t mind at all that Frank was living here; they practically treated him like another son. To be honest I kind of would have been disappointed if he did that...not that he hurt himself but didn’t realize that he is stronger then that, he is stronger than a piece of metal. But I’m glad he did realize it. I move him sideways and he leans his head on my chest; we start talking about our one month anniversary.

One fucking month with this boy; I couldn’t ask for anything more…Well I could. I would ask for a second month, and a third, and a fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth… and so on. I want to be in his life forever. Frank said he wants to do something small so I suggested on the couch all day with movies and pizza…sadly it falls on a Friday so school then pizza. But I love it; as long as it is with him then I don’t care what we do. I pull the blankets up getting ready for him to fall asleep considering it was 9:45 PM and we walked around all day.


“I love you Frankie, never ever forget that” I remind him, he smiles

“Never” Frank whispers making my heart flutter; within minutes I hear Frank start snoring. I know it’s weird but I’m proud of him right now; proud that he remembered that people care about him and he has someone to talk to if he needs it the most…but now I need to do something. I slyly slide him off my chest and he lightly falls on the bed to continue sleeping; I kiss him on the forehead and walk to the restroom to…..Apparently to be greeted with Mikey holding the box of razors

“Mikey what are….Are you eavesdropping again?” I say crossing my arms; he looks to me and nods. I sigh and shake my head

“Mikey you need to stop that” I tell him

“I know but I was curious,” I sigh again then realize that he did hear what Frank and I were saying.

“How much did you hear?” I ask cautiously.

“More than enough” he responds putting the box of blades on the sink corner; I run my hand through my hair but don’t say anything.

“How long has he been doing it?” Mikey asks, I sigh for like the third time and take moments to decide whether or not to tell him; well he already knows so mine as well tell him what I know.

“Since last year but stopped about three months ago” I say, he nods

“What happened with Bryce?” he asks

“When we were at the mall I went to the restroom and Bryce was there, came out to find Frank beating the shit out of him” His eyes go wide but nods again.

“Who’s Aaron?”

“A kid from his last school that bullied him…like he sent him to the hospital bullied; he’s mainly the reason why Frank did this” I say gesturing to the razors.

“What about tonight?” he asks slowly

“Frank was over thinking everything bad that’s happened and turned to that…but he stopped when he remembered about all of us helping him.” Mikey gives a half smile and looks around the room for a second.

“What do you suppose we do with the razors?” he asks

“Well we can’t throw them away then dad will ask and we will have to explain; I really don’t think Frank wants them knowing. I suggest we put it under the sink with the medicine stuff; If Frank doesn’t see them, he won’t think of them. Out of sight, out of mind” I finish; Mikey nods and places them under the sink next to the bandages then turns back to me.

“Is he alright?”

“He’s okay, just his brain is on overdrive but luckily can fall asleep easily” I smile, Mikey smiles back and sighs

“Well I better be off to bed, see you tomorrow” he says before walking out. I stay for a moment and think. Tomorrows Sunday so five more days till our anniversary…I can’t wait. I head back into the room where Frank is still sleeping and crawl back into bed pulling him closer; I kiss him on the forehead again before looking to his face.

“I love you so much” I whisper

“You’ve told me this already” Frank mutters with a smile obviously still tired

“Well I’ll tell you a million times more” I say back, he scoots closer laying my head on my chest before falling back asleep; I hold him tight and lay my head next to him. I know today wasn’t exactly the best day but it still was good…Like I said, any day with Frank is a good one and I hope I won’t see a day without him.

Notes

I fucking hate school *Starts sobbing*

I WATCHED TO MUCH DOCTOR WHO AND NOW EVERYTHING IN MY HEAD SOUNDS BRITISH!

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