I Still Think You're Beautiful

*6 months later* GERARDS P.O.V


Frank Anthony Iero died in my arms on June 15th 2015 at 11:46 am. I had found him on my bed, bottle of pills in his hand as he laid so still that it gave me chills. He looked like he was asleep, there was something almost peaceful about his death. After the paramedics arrived, they informed me and my family that there was nothing they could do and that he'd been gone for too long. Not a fucking day goes by where I don't think about that day, and how my whole my fucking world crashed down. After that day, I locked myself in the basement and didn't even come up for food. I just laid in bed and cried and didn't move for days, i was broken. I didn't even come out to go to his funeral. My mom had told me that the whole school went, even dahvie. My mother said even a few tears fell down Dahvies face. I'm currently sitting alone on the couch, staring out the window and watching the rain fall down against the window. I'm basically all alone, Mikey ran away with Pete after franks funeral, Mom lives with her new boyfriend, and dad is on a two year business trip in Italy. Mikey calls me every once in a while, he never tells me where he is, he just tells me to stay away from alcohol and drugs and he goes on and on about how I'll get through this and blah blah blah. And I am getting through it, with the help of my pills and Lindsey. Lindsey stops by about everyday and checks on me to make sure everything is ok, I always tell her I'm fine, but she's knows I'm not. She's the only light I have in my life. I watch the rain outside the window for a little longer, daydreaming about anything and everything. Frank was the best thing that ever happened to me, and now he was gone. I had nothing to live for, but I kept living because he would want me too. He would want me to move on and find someone else, he would want me to be happy. But every time I try to do something I enjoy, something always has to remind me of him. I realize that it's been too long and I should be accepting his death by now, but I just can't do it. No matter what I will always love Frank Iero, dead or alive. He'll always have that special place in my heart, he'll always be the love of my life. He's my soulmate, but soulmates can't always be together. No matter how many people I date, no matter how many people I fuck, Frank will always be my number one. He's in a better place, he's where he's meant to be. He was too good for this world. And even if I'm alone, I always feel like he's with me, like he's part of me, he's something that's latched onto me and always will be. I'll see him again one day, but for now, all I can do is throw roses on his grave and sleep with the his shirts that still smell like him. I will eventually accept his death, even if it takes years, I'll accept it one day. I'll always feel the guilt in the bottom of my stomach for not being there for him. I'll always feel like it was somehow my fault. But for now, all I have it the memories. The memories of his laugh, the way he smiled, how warm and tiny he was, how he made my heart flutter with every move he made. I have an undying love for Frank, and it will never end, because death cannot kill something that never dies

Notes

we still have an epilogue left