I Still Think You're Beautiful

The next morning I wake up alone, Frank isn't in bed with me, to be honest, I didn't expect him to be. He hasn't slept in the same bed as me for a week almost. I got out of bed, got dressed, and ready for the day before trudging out of the basement and upstairs. When I reach the top, Mikey is waiting for me, his arms crossed and serious ass look on his face. I stop in front of him, making eye contact, "Nice fucking job" he spits before turning away from me harshly before I can ask him what he's talking about. I shake what he said off and walk into the living room, finding Frank on the couch, a blank look on his face as he stares out the window as if he doesn't even know I'm here. "Um...good morning" I mumble and sit on the opposite end of the couch. He doesn't answer. "Frank?" He still doesn't even move. Taking my chances, I moved closer to him and place my hand on his shoulder. Frank slowly turns his head and looks into my eyes, "Fuck off" "Oh." Is all I can manage to say, "Okay...I'm gonna...I'm gonna go to Ray's then." "You're mom and dad left by the way" Frank said as he stared out the window again, "And oh Mikey left for Petes after he talked to you." "You're...you're gonna be alone?" I stuttered. "Yeah" He spat, "I'm 16 I can take care of myself. I don't need you to babysit me. I'm not a little kid." He turned around completely and I just nodded before getting up off the couch and pulling out my phone, telling Ray that I was on my way to his house. As I exited the front door, I felt a little uneasy about leaving Frank alone. God only knows what he could do to himself. I was almost tempted to turn back around but I was already at Rays front door. All I could do now was pray in my head that Frank would be okay.


Franks P.O.V

iwaited by the window and watched Gerard until he was completely out of sight. I was finally alone. I could do what I've wanted to do since my mom left me, I could finally just end this hell Im living everyday. Even though I was alone, I walked and moved as quietly as I could just in case. Once I was in Gerard's room, I dug through my bag, looking for what I needed, until I finally felt it in my hand, my pills. I'm supposed to only take one a day for my stomach issues, and if I take more then five in one day or some shit, it can result in death of overdose. I placed them next to me and started to search for my blades, but as I picked them up, I realized I didn't need to cut. I just needed to end this, as fast as I could. I didn't need to bleed, I've done enough of that...and I don't want anyone finding me in a pool of blood. That's gross. I threw the blades down and smiled to myself, realizing that if I did this...I could see my mom and Iris again. I could finally be happy. I picked up the pills and unscrewed them slowly, and tear pricking at my eyelashes as my hands shook, but I still managed to smile. I winced wen I realized I didn't even write a note...nobody would know why I did it. But they wouldn't need to, nobody would care anyway. I put the pills down for a second and slid my phone out of my pocket, open Gerard's contact, I took a deep breathe and typed something from the heart; 'Gerard, I love you with all my heart, nothing in the world could ever stop me from loving you, nothing. I promise you this. You were the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I'm leaving again. I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye, but you'll find me again someday, just like last time. You'll find me sooner then you think. I love you Gerard. I'll be in a better place.' I wiped a tear from my eye and threw my phone across the room, praying that it broke. I grabbed my bag and quickly pulled on the hoodie that Gerard gave me when were still in school together, when everything was perfect, when we did what we wanted. But I had to go and fuck everything up, I had to leave and ruin the most perfect relationship I've ever had. I took and moment and reflected all the I love yous and all the memories Gerard had with me, bringing the fabric of the hoodie close to my face so I could smell him one last time. "Fuck..." I whispered "I fucking love you Gerard... I'm so fucking sorry." Tears began to stream down my face as I sat down on the edge of Gerard's bed, the bottle of pills in my hand. I took the lid off all the way, as slowly as I could. Turning the bottle over slightly, I poured a handful of the pills into my palm, shaking at the feeling of them. I was scared, I was fucking scared. I couldn't even fucking kill myself. I was about to put the pills to my mouth after a long debate with myself, when my phone rang. I ignored it, I didn't want to deal with anyone and I didn't want anyone to interrupt me. "Fuck" I sobbed before just throwing the pills into my mouth and swallowing them. The only thing I can remember is slowly falling back into Gerards bed, my vision blurring and going black as my stomach ached painfully, hearing the door opening as someone screamed my name, but I was already gone.

Notes

oops.