FRANK'S P.O.V

*6 months later*


Gerard stares down at me, his face just inches from mine. I can feel his breathe on my cheeks as he leans closer to me and presses his lips aganist my own, sending shivers up my spine. I kiss him back as he begins to pull away before I'm ready to let him go.
"Bye Frank." Gerard mumbles as he begins to fade away, his eyes staring straight into mine. I open my mouth to scream his name but nothing comes out as he continues to fade away. My heart begins to break all over again, remembering the pain that happened almost 6 months ago.

---

I wake up with a groan, squeezing my eyes close as I raise my hand up to my pounding head. I bury my face in my pillow and take in a few deep breathes, attempting to calm myself and not die.

"Babe," I voice whispers next to me, "Are you okay?"

I turn over on my side to face the warm body laying next to me, "Yeah, I'm fine Zacky." I sigh as I close my eyes again, ignoring the worsening pounding on my skull. After a few minutes, I force my eyes open and meet Zacky's gaze. He stares at me for a second and slowly wraps his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him. I melt into his touch and enjoy the moment, but deep down inside, I wish that Zacky was someone else.

"Did you have another dream?" Zacky asks softly as his fingers rub gently up and down my shirtless back. I nod into his chest and he places a soft kiss in my hair. "Was it about, him?" I nod again and he sighs deeply. He's silent for awhile before he finally opens his mouth, "Frank, it's been over six months. I just don't understand how you're still dwelling over him. I mean, don't you love me?"

"Zacky," I sigh and pull out of his embrace. I sit myself up and pull the bed sheets over my waist as I look down into his eyes. "Of course I love you. But it's just...I don't even know how to explain it. He was just my first basically. And...I'm sorry that I do this. I'm the worst fucking boyfriend-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Zacky interrupts. He quickly sits up next to me and leans his head on my shoulder, "Don't be sorry. I get what you're goin through. I just thought you loved me enough to forget about him." He takes his head away and wraps his arms around me again. I stare up at him and whisper, "Zacky, I do love you. More than anything," Lies. "I love you and you only. I promise." More lies.

Zacky smiles and leans down to kiss my lips passionately. "I love you more Frankie."

My heart flutters as I rest my head against Zacky's chest. I'm not completely lying, I do love Zacky. He's one of the only people I have at the moment, and I respect him. But my heart is still with...him. And no matter how hard I try, I can't get over him.

But Zacky, he's something else that I can't explain. When I got to California, I literally had nobody except like one or two people. I was alone up until one of my friends introduced me to Zacky. We connected as soon as we said 'hello' to each other. We talked for awhile and we found that we had so much in common with one another, guitars, bands, comic books. And Zacky was a beautiful person.

He took me in and let me live with him and for three months we were best friends. Our friendship ended when he finally manned up and told me he had a crush on me, and I admitted I liked him back. Sure, he's almost four years older than me, but there's nothing wrong about it. But we've been together for 2 and half months now, and I seriously do love him. I just don't love him as much as he thinks I do.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Zacky whispers and interrupts my thoughts, "Wanna join?" He asks. I shake my head and give him a sorry smile, "Not today babe. I'm sorry." Zacky smiles backs and kisses my lips, "It's alright. I love you."

"I love you too." I reply and he gets up. I watch as he trudges into the bathroom and shuts the door slowly, smiling at me one last time. After I hear the shower turn on, I quietly step out of bed. I look down and realize that I'm only wearing boxers so I grab a pair of skinny jeans and one of Gerard's old shirts that I took from him. Zacky doesn't know that it's his, but if he did, he'd get mad and make me throw it away.

I've only spoken to Gerard once since I left New Jersey. I called him on Christmas day and we talked for about 20 minutes, we didn't really say anything special.
There were no 'I love yous'
No 'I miss yous'
No 'I'll wait for yous'
Nothing.

And that's when I realized it was officially over and there was nothing I could do about it. It didn't sound like he even missed me, it seemed as if he'd already moved on and didn't even think about me anymore. I want to call him so bad, but I don't know what I would even say;
'Oh hey Gerard, it's your ex boyfriend who hasn't talk you in months. I just wanted to say I love you! But I have a boyfriend so oh no!'

Yeah, I'll pass on calling him.

But I never said I wouldn't call Mikey.

My mind buzzes as I slowly pick up my phone, I remember Mikey's number by heart mostly because I always needed him for everything. I slowly type his number in and press the phone to my ear. I wait as it rings, my heart beating fast and my breathing getting shaky.

"Uhm hello...?" A voice says tiredly through the phone.

I want to say something but I just can't, I stay silent.

"Hello?" Mikey's voice asks again. I still don't say anything. "Hello??"

I remain quiet, holding back tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. Mikey hangs up after he relizes that nobody is going to answer, which makes me actually cry. I throw my phone down onto the floor and crawl back into bed, bringing the covers up to my chin as I sob into my pillow.

Notes

this story is a fucking mess.

thank you to all the people who fucking subscribed to this shit.

may I ask those people; how the fuck are you still reading and how the fuck are you not confused?

you should comment about how evil I am for this whole entire chapter. because one; it's shit and two; it sucked as bc im sick af right now