I woke up slowly to the sound of the bus’ engine turning on with the chorus of groans and moans from the most likely hung over band mates. They did say a 9’ o clock start anyway so I too should have suspected it. Instead however, I groaned and moved the covers above my head and snuggled into what I thought was a pillow to instead be a human. I felt my eyes widen but last night’s events slowly circled my mind and I remembered exactly who it could have been and why they were there. I felt the small mattress sink as Gerard found comfort in my shoulder as he hide his face into my neck, a long sigh following his movements. I couldn’t help but smile and pat the side of his head, leaving my fingers in his hair. I was relieved I suppose that he understood I couldn’t give him any more than friendship. It would be unfair to him while there are thousands of others girls out there who could give him a much greater life than I could. But there was always a feeling that I could never pinpoint exactly what it was…

Was I really that selfish to consider being with Gerard until…

No, goddammit it Win don’t be a selfish bitch. Gerard deserves better. He’ll always deserve better.

“Turn it off!” I heard Bob shout just as the bus pulled into drive, reversing us out of our parking space.

“Stop shouting!” Frank screamed. I laughed my chest shaking as Gerard twisted a little in his sleep. Last night was probably one of the best nights on tour. Sure there was flirting from him, sometimes really bad flirting but it felt just like it had when we were at Gerard and Mikey’s house, natural. I suppose it could have been the ciders but it was just Gerard and I, talking about life, music and art. No awkward moments, no cold shoulders and no kissing. My stomach did flips of course whenever he smiled or held my hand but that seemed to be uncontrollable.

Why did I have to feel like this? He seemed like the old Gerard last night…the one before the kiss…just stop thinking about it…the kiss…

Woah…don’t think about that…

Like I said, I would find him a girlfriend by the time the tour has finished.

“Shut up!” Mikey added, the sound of creaking mattresses filling the air.

“Jesus Mikey shut the fuck up!” Mia added.

“Bob started it!”

“I’m finishing it!” she continued.

“I will kill you all…”Ray moaned.

“How, you weren’t part of the-”

“All of you shut up or I will throw ice cold water over you and everything you love.” I shouted, momentarily pulling my head out of the covers. There was silence except the odd murmur of ‘fuck you Win’. I smiled triumphantly and put my head back under the covers when Gerard chuckled beside me.

“We really are not morning people…” Gerard mumbled into my neck, leaving his breath to tingle the sensitive skin.

“Hmmm.” I replied in response. He tightened his grip around my waist, pulling his face away so he could look at me; well his eyes were still closed as one of his hands began to rub at them.

“Hey.” I smiled.

“Hey.” He said as he smiled, finally opening his eyes. “You okay?”

“Dandy.” I shrugged, still running my fingers in his dark hair. “You?”

“Dandy.”

“Good.” We smiled at each other, our stares lingering a little longer than I’d hoped. He got that light in his eyes again…

“What’s the plan for today Miss Winters?” I pondered a moment before answering.

“I’ve got a good plan for you.” He raised his eyebrows questioningly, a smirk playing at his
lips.

“And what would that be?” I smiled innocently at him.

“To take a shower…you stink Gee.” I squinted as I brought a hand up to my nose. It was a complete lie, he smelt perfect…it sounds weird when I say it properly in my head, I know. He put a hand up to his chest and frowned, giving me puppy dog eyes.

“You words wound me Win…” he sniffled to which I couldn’t help but laugh at. “…but I know exactly what I’m about to do now.” He smiled devilishly at me to which I put a hand against his chest, pushing him away.

“I don’t think I’m gonna like it-” Before I could even finish the sentence, he’d brought his hands to my sides and began to pinch and tickle my skin causing me to scream and laugh in agony.

“Shut up!” The chorus began again but Gerard didn’t stop. I writhed and rolled about on the small bed, no doubt hitting him in the face a few times but he just laughed at my contorted face in pain.

“Gerard please-I-I can’t breathe!” he continued to laugh. I gripped his wrists trying to push him away but he wouldn’t budge.

“Stop fucking each other and go back to sleep!” Frank shouted. I screamed as he found a sensitive spot at my torso. I was pretty certain it was a bloodcurdling cry.

“Trust me Frank; you’d know if we were!” Gerard answered to which I “replied” with smacking him in the head. His eyes widened in amusement at my expression, his hands slowing in their movement of torture and eventually stopping however he kept his hands on my sides.

“What the fuck?” I said breathlessly.

“No one bad mouths me and gets away with it.” he replied giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, then trying to push his lips to my own. I laughed and pushed at him, rolling away with my back facing him.

“Don’t you dare try all that again…”

“Try what?” he asked absentmindedly, running a hand from my neck down to my hip.

“You know exactly what Gerard Way.”

“Can’t help it. Sorry!” he said wrapping and arm around my waist and bringing our bodies closer together.

“You can help it…you just choose not to.”

“Is that a bad thing Winona?” he asked, his lips inches from my skin.

“You finished already Gerard?” Bob laughed suddenly pulling back the curtain causing us both to turn a little.

“Take him away Bob!” I said dramatically placing a hand on my forehead.

“She doesn’t mean it!” Gerard argued, snuggling closer.

“I didn’t think of you to be a quickie…” Bob continued to laugh.

“You obviously haven’t been next door to him in a motel before…” Frank interjected laughing alongside Bob.

“Fuck off Bob.” Gerard said, a smacking sound coming from behind me. “You too Frank!”

“Love you Gee!” Frank shouted back with a high pitch nasally voice. Bob sighed suddenly and I turned my head briefly to see him shaking his head solemnly.

“Sorry if you have performance-” I felt his hands remove themselves from me, the bed move beside me and suddenly I was met with an empty space as Gerard and Bob began chasing after one another around the bus, every now and then their legs in vision on my eye line. I smiled triumphantly and closed the curtain again, curling into a ball and burying me head deeper into the pillow, the remnants of Gerard’s cologne filling my senses.

---

He was passionate with his lips, causing me to crumble beneath his touch…

My fingers ran through his hair as he settled himself between my legs more comfortably, his hands roaming my body and caressing any bare skin, sending shivers down my spine. He moaned when I tugged at his hair, I sighed when his lips caressed my neck…

He caressed my cheek slowly, his thumb making small circles on my cheek bone and I felt my cheeks blush horrendously. He wasn’t simply looking at me, he stared, intensely, a fire burning in his eyes…

I could feel my heart thumping, the blood rushing in my ears…

He was beautiful, the only light circulating the bus was the street lamps from outside peeking through some of the open blinds, and the rays of light bounced off his body, lighting up his hazel eyes. His skin was warm, comforting. I never wanted it to stop….

“I love you Winona Winters.”

My eyes shot open as sat forward in a start, my head hitting the bunk above me. A large thud echoed in the enclosed space and I heard Mikey mutter down in the seating area:
“I think she’s awake.” I then heard footsteps slowly making their way over to the bunk and suddenly Frank’s head popped inside, his smile bright.

“Hey Winero.”

“Sup Frankeny.” I laughed at his enthusiasm. He nudged me aside and lay down next to me, his hands behind his head. “What time is it?”

“About 3…the rest of us only really got up and hour ago after Bob and Gerard had their game of it or some shit like that.”

“Hmmm…” I replied, covering my eyes with my forearm. “How far away are we from the next venue?”

“About another three hours…BUT you should probably get up if you wanna see our gig on time later.” Frank said poking my sides and I groaned.

“Don’t! Gerard’s already attacked my torso’s enough…”

“How? By his passionate love making? His caring touch? His lip-”

“If you don’t shut up I will throw you off the bus. You’re small enough to fit through a window.”

“Jeez you’re mean this afternoon!” He said laughing poking at me again before grabbing my wrist and pulling me out of the bunk and onto the floor. I felt like crying when I hit the floor because I was tired and out of my comfort. “Come on, we’re playing games and drinking coffee!”

“Coffee…” I groaned into the floor before getting on all fours and crawling my way over to the others.

Notes