Love Should Always Be Blind

❤❤ ❤ Frank❤❤❤

Gerard was the most beautiful thing to ever wake up to. Peaceful with his white eyelids closed. Adorable the way his pixie nose upturned when his head moved at a certain angle. Even graceful, the way his smooth plate body splayed out. I could have stared at him forever and be happy. I hated that we'd been fighting lately. I only wanted to make him happy, but he was completely overreacting over the whole college situation. Ohio wasn't that far and I'd visit all the time, I only hoped he'd realize that soon. However, I didn't want to think about our fighting then, while I stared at the beautiful creature in my bed. Propping myself onto one elbow, I placed a hand delicately to his creamy white chest, running my callous fingertips across the plains of his tender flesh. Leaning in, I began to plant gentle kisses up from his shoulder, neck, jaw and ear, then back down and up again. After doing this languid motion about two times, I paused at his ear to catch his earlobe between my teeth.

“Gee, baby. Get up.” I cooed, letting go of the lobe. Gerard groaned, moving around to face me, his eyes still closed. I chuckled, beginning to kiss his skin again.

“Wake-y, wake-y baby.” I coaxed, breathing into the pores of his skin.

“Mm.” He grumbled, “'M too tired.”

“C'mon, honey. It's already like ten.” I tried to reason. Although when waking Gerard, that was near impossible. Trying a different tactic, I moved my hand that lay on his chest, slowly down his naked body until I reached his hip bone, giving it a squeeze. Gerard groaned again, but not in a tired sense that time. I couldn't help but smirk in satisfaction.

“Frankie.” He whined. God I loved how needy and whinny he got. “It's too early.”

“It's never too early. In fact it's a great way to start the day.” I breathed into his ear, sending chills through his body. “And plus. You promised me something I never got yesterday...”

“That's not my fault. We were too tired by the time we got home from the concert.” He defended, finally opening those gorgeous eyes. Hazel; brown and green like something bursting from outer space.

“I know...but we have the house to ourselves now.” I mentioned, still kissing around his upper half. Gerard squirmed, starting to grow restless.

“Where is everyone?” He wondered, trying not to crack.

“Mmm. Our parents are at church. Matt's at his girlfriend's. And Sarah...I dunno but who
cares?” I explained, running my hand back down towards his lower half. Gerard moaned, bucking his hips once my hand brushed his cock. Smirking in satisfaction, I wrapped my hands around him, allowing him a few strokes before moving away to straddle him. Gerard reached out, taking hold of my hair and tugging me down to crash our lips together.

Frantically we moved our mouth together, swapping spit and massaging tongues. I could have lived forever in that moment and never complained another second of my life. Rubbing my hands down his thin sides, I could feel his ribs when he stretched, as if trying to create more of himself for me to touch and him to feel. I wanted to taste every inch of him. Moving my mouth down, I began to suck and lick at his neck. Salty and sweet; even better as the last time I remembered it. I could already see a pretty purple bloom just underneath the thin layer of skin. I didn't care what Sarah said or thought. I would mark Gee all I wanted to. He was mine and I wanted everyone to know it. Just like I was only his. I was his and he was mine. End of story.
Gerard continued to whine and whimper underneath me. Soon I couldn't even handle the sounds; they were making my dick ache for some form of relief. Grinding down, I offered us wonderful friction; Gerard's bare skin against my boxer-clad ones. Gerard I could tell was getting impatient, however, as I felt his long artistic fingers skim the sides of my body until they reached the elastic band of my boxers.

“Off. Take 'em off.” He panted, curling his fingers in and tugging the article of clothing off. With a quick flash of his hands, I was naked along with him.

“Gee.” I groaned inside his neck, “You're driving me crazy, baby.” I admitted, while Gee's hands roamed down, cupping my ass, aiding me in the upward and downward motion of my hips. He was digging in so hard, I could almost feel the blunt-biting of his short nails.

“Get inside me Frankie. Please.” He begged, his head thrown back onto the pillows, creating an
onyx halo of hair around him.

“Okay.” I agreed, sitting back up and reaching over into the nightstand where we kept lube. Grabbing the off white tube of lubrication, I roughly slammed the small drawer shut, then steadied myself back on the bed.

“Here. Get up.” I instructed, Gerard, taking hold of his hands until he was turned around and only on his knees. “Get on your hands too.” crouching down, he obeyed. Moaning in the back of my throat, I couldn't repress the animalistic sound that erupted; Gerard spread out for me. Just me. On his hands and knees. I had to contain myself or I could have orgasmed just at the mere sight.

“Frankie.” Gerard whimpered. I must have been staring too long. But I couldn't help myself. Gerard was like no other person I'd ever meet. Beautiful on the inside just as much as the gorgeous creature he was on the outside. Snapping back into the moment though, I quickly recovered myself with a shake of the head. Reaching forward, I placed three fingers in front of Gerard's mouth.

“Suck, baby.” I husked out, slightly nudging the tips of my fingers against his soft lips. Without hesitation, he opened, enveloping my fingers. Moaning at the warm sucking sensation of his mouth, I could feel pre-cum already start dripping down my inner thighs. Lapping his tongue over, under, and in between my digits, he groaned as well, coursing vibrations around my hand.

“Oh, God, Gee.” I shuddered, “That's good.” Gerard simply hummed, letting my fingers go. Gliding my hand back against his spine, I created a cold wet trail of his own saliva, down his crack, and until I reached his hole. Starting with two fingers, I was impatient, I'll admit. I just wanted to hold Gerard still and fuck him hard. But I would never ever do that, no matter how much my body wanted me to. I had to make sure he was prepped properly and that he was comfortable. Once I had all three fingers in though, and Gerard was rocking back into their thrust, practically finger-fucking himself on my hand, I knew he was ready. Gerard whined at the loss of contact, when I pulled back.

“Don't worry, baby.” I soothed, while slicking myself up, “I got you.”

“Frankie. Hurry.” He whimpered, arching his back and pushing his ass forward. The sight had me drooling. Gripping each of his hips tightly, I pressed my tip at his entrance. It only needed a nudge before the muscles gave way and I was fully consumed within him. We both moaned in unison, at each of our own unique sensations we were feeling.

“Oh, Gee. Oh, baby.” I panted, his warm, tight hole constricting around my dick. It was heaven. He was heaven. Pure heaven, indeed.

“Move, Frankie. I need you to move.” Gerard pleaded and I granted him his want; thrusting slowly at first but picking up the pace, soon enough I was roughly slamming in and out of Gerard while he panted and moaned filthily. Tightening my grip on his white hips, I was sure I was going to leave bruises. Gerard only kept telling me to go faster or harder or deeper though. Not once did he tell me to go easy or slow down and that was all the reassurance I needed.

“Oh, Gee. God, I love you.” I yelled, reaching down and taking a gentle fist of his hair into my hands. Tugging up, I aided him in straightening up; his back to my chest.

“I l-love you t-too.” He stuttered, reaching back and tangling his own boney fingers inside my hair. I held one hand on his hip while the other held his chest firmly to my back, so he wouldn't fall or lose his balance. Gee held a death grip in my hair, while the other rested on the hand I had on his chest. I had sweat dripping down my hairline. We were practically bathing in each others sweat. Basking in each others breaths of pants and moans. I held Gerard so close, but it still wasn't enough. Somehow it never was. I always wanted more of him. The whole thing was absolutely crazy. I had never ever felt this way before about another human being. Never loved so deeply and profoundly. And that was it; that was the key. I was in love with him and it made my body want to explode.

Continuing to thrust, my motions and rhythm were growing sloppy. We both were getting close. I could tell by, how Gee's thrust back into me were getting more desperate and harder. I could tell myself, because of that familiar ball of heat building in the pit of my stomach. Sliding my hand that lay under Gerard's, down lower and lower, together, we both grabbed hold of his cock. My hand under his, his hand resting with no control. Pumping back and forth, Gerard really began to pant and scream. Throwing his head back onto my shoulder, I could see his perfect face, eyes closed tight, mouth wide open, and eyebrows furrowed in complete ecstasy.

“That's it baby.” I encouraged in a low whisper, kissing his sweaty, dripping jaw, “That's it. Cum for me.” and that's all the push he needed. Cumming hard and hot over our hands, Gee exploded, practically screaming his lungs out. I kept pumping him, milking him, working him through it. I was seconds behind...I only needed one...two...three more thrust...and...without warning the bedroom door flew open.

*****

Gerard was still riding out his orgasm, while I was just literately seconds away from cumming inside him, when the bedroom door flew open. Both of us yelped, making a high pitched noise of surprise and fear. And Dad...well Dad just looked dumbfounded and shocked. In the amount of time it takes for someone to switch a light off from dark to light, that's as fast as it took for me to lose my orgasm. Also in which said amount of time it took for Dad's face to go from shocked to livid.

Everything happened so fast. Gerard froze. I froze. Dad froze, his hand white-knuckling the door knob. Immediately I snapped back, pulling out of Gerard in a flash, then forcing myself and Gee to get off our knees and onto our asses. Quickly I ripped the covers over our bodies. I didn't give one fuck about myself. I was only cornered for Gerard. He must have been terrified. Sure he couldn't see Dad but he most certainty heard him knock his way in. Wrapping my arms around him, I could feel him shaking in fear. This was probably thee worst way this could have happened. Gerard and I had planned on telling our parents about our relationship in, y'know, a normal way. Not while I had my dick in Gerard's ass and his cum all over our hands.
Starring at Dad, his face was red in anger, eyes bugging out, and a vein about to blow by his temple. We were dead. I was sure of it. If Dad didn't kill me, Susan would.

“FRANKLIN ANTHONY IERO. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?” Dad bellowed, once he'd found his voice. I knew it was coming but I couldn't help but cringe. Not waiting for an explanation, he charged towards me, gripping my shoulders and yanking me to my feet.

“WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU BOY? HUH? DO YOU ENJOY RUINING MY RELATIONSHIPS?” He thundered out, shaking me. I jerked my shoulder out of his grip.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I screamed back, “GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!”

“Then humor me.” Dad demanded after a pause, lowering his voice, only making it more intimidating than it was by screaming. I wasn't afraid of him though. I was afraid for Gerard. Searching the room, before I started, I quickly slipped on a pair of boxers.

“We've been together almost as long as you and Susan-” I started, once clothed

“WHAT? Bullshit.” Dad scoffed, cutting me off before I could barely begin.

“It's true!” I insisted. “When we first came over for dinner, when I accidentally hit Gee in the face with that baseball! That's when we started dating...Kinda. It's hard to explain.”

“Well make it easy then.” Dad retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Long story short then, we've been dating since like late September, in a relationship since early October. Roughly.” I tried to sum up.

“Franklin, you don't do relationships.” Dad chuckled condescendingly. I narrowed my eyes, feeling my own hatred burn.

“Fuck you. What do you know?” I barked.

“Oh, I know enough.” Dad sneered.

“Whats that supposed to mean?” I sneered back.

“It means you know nothing of relationship's. That's all you've done your whole life is go out to parties without a care in the world. You don't know how to be in a proper relationship.” Dad yelled back, choosing his words, as if he liked making me upset.

“Well, first off, you're wrong. I have been in a relationship.” I started but like always, he cut me off without allowing to get my thought out.

“One. One relationship that lasted not even a year.” Dad countered.

“So fucking what?! I didn't know the capability of a relationship was the amount and time of it.” I yelled back in frustration, “All your relationship have been crap if you want to compare notes, Dad. Mom being your worst! And don't forget Lisa, the bitch, who beat the shit out of me and you didn't even notice all the black eyes, busted lips, and bruises! If I hadn't of told you, God's only knows where we'd be right now.” I ranted, my voice raising with each word.

“Lisa has nothing to do with this.” Dad warned sternly.

“Lisa has everything to do with this! She was a crappy relationship!” I retorted.

“Enough.” Dad yelled over me. “I'm not going to do this right now, like this. Ten minutes and both your asses, better be down in the living room.”

“Where's Susan anyways?” I bit, “I thought you were at church?”

“We were. Susan dropped me off. She had to drop off a package. She'll be home soon. And then we'll discuss this.” Dad ordered, “And don't think I won't be counting. Ten. Minutes.” He announced, before turning abruptly around, storming out of my room, and slamming the door behind him.

Sighing, I turned around, running my hands over my face. Freezing, my eyes immediately landed on my poor baby, shaking on the bed, eyes filled with unspilt tears. Taking quick strides across the bedroom, I sat back down on the bed, wrapping my arms around Gerard.

“Oh, Gee.” I crooned, stroking his hair, “Please don't cry honey.” As if at the request, though, Gerard squeezed his eyes shut tight, and began to sob into my shoulder. Like he'd been holding in everything, through the whole fight, but crumbled at the very sound of my voice.

“It's going to be okay. I promise.” I insisted, rocking him back and forth. Gerard violently shook his head.

“N-no i-it's n-n-not.” He chocked, “M-mom's going to b-be pissed. You and your dad are going to leave and Mom's never going to let me see you again.”

“No. No, Gerard. Even if say, all that did happen, which it's not, I'd still find a way to be with you. I can honestly promise you that. I'd never let them separate us.” I vowed. Gerard whimpered, clutching his hands onto my shoulder.

“I-I'm so scared, F-Frankie.” He cried, his warm tears falling down my bare chest.

“Don't be scared, baby.” I hushed, pushing his hair behind his ear, “It's going to be alright. I know this definitely isn't how we wanted to tell our parents...but it's happening. We can't stop that. But I'm going to be there. We can do it together.” I tried to reassure. Gerard sniffled trying to weakly nod. Pulling back, I held Gerard's shoulders staring into his wet hazel eyes. My heart ached at the sight. I could only imagine how scared he was. Telling your parents your sexuality in itself is hard when you're ready and have it all planned out. Now he was practically being forced. I knew he was terrified and I felt terrible. Shaking in my grip, I pulled more hair behind his ear.

“Gee, honey are you going to be okay?” I whispered. Throughout the whole fight between my father, he hadn't said anything. I knew he hated fighting and how much they upset him. This whole thing was fucking falling apart. Gerard's lip trembled but he shook his head yes. Gathering him back into my arms, I kissed the crown of his head.

“FIVE MINUTES!” I heard Dad shout from downstairs. I rolled my eyes merely continuing to hold Gerard close.

“How about we get dressed? Okay?” I tried.

“O-okay.” He sniffled, his voice shaking. I got up off the bed, gathering clothes. Gee wasn't in the right shape to do much, right then, beside being held. Swiping underwear, a shirt and jeans for both of us, I first helped Gee into his clothes. He complied moving numbly as I aided him and his limbs through appropriate holes in the clothes. Once Gerard was dressed, I quickly dressed myself in a flash, while Gee just sat there, eyes glazed over.

“Gee?” I asked softly. His head snapped towards the direction of my voice, his eyes focusing slightly off of my face.

“Yeah?” He replied meekly. I took hold of his hand, lacing our fingers together.

“You ready baby?” I tried. He nodded slowly, getting to his feet.
Guiding him and myself out of the bedroom, we took the stairs with ease. It's not like we were rushing to go be yelled at by my father. I held Gee close, knowing he needed all the comfort I could give him. Once we took the last steps, I steered us to the living room. Dad sat on a recliner with a glass of whiskey in his hand. I couldn't help but roll my eyes; he was so dramatic. Ignoring him, I lead Gerard and I to the couch. We all sat in silence for probably like ten excruciatingly long minutes. I rubbed my thumb over Gerard knuckles, while holding him close, trying to comfort him silently. Dad sipped his drink, grunting here and there.

Without warning, the front door, opened, causing all three of us to jump. Susan walked through the door absentmindedly, not noticing us at first. Once she closed the door, and faced forward however, she paused taking us all in. The look of shock on her face reminded me so much of Gerard and when he was taken by surprise. They looked so much alike in general. Same big green hazel eyes. Same creamy pale complexion. Same round face, but sharp cheekbones...Susan cleared her throat composing herself, her eyes scanning all of our faces. Mine probably twisted in concern, Dad's hard and mad, Gerard's scared and nervous.

“What's wrong?” Susan finally asked, making her way into the room, setting her purse down on the coffee table.

“Why don't you take a seat, Susan. We all need to talk.” Dad informed. Susan knitted her shaped eyebrow together but sat down next to Gerard and I nonetheless.

“Okay...About what?” She tried, turning to face me, her eyes then jumping to Gerard's once they'd scanned mine. “Gee? Honey, what's wrong?” She asked, once taking in his worried expression. Dad sighed loudly from his seat. We all moved to look at him.

“David?” Susan pressed.

“Well, I guess I should let them tell you. But I'll start.” He offered, oh so generously, “When I came home from you dropping me off, I heard noises coming from Franks room. So I went to go see if something was wrong... and when I walked in... they were...uh, having... sex.” He explained shortly, sparing her the details. I cringed at the statement being spoken aloud and Gerard tensed for impact. I squeezed his hand trying to offer my own comfort, letting him know it would be okay. Susan just stared shocked for a moment, allowing the information to sink in.

“Is that true?” She asked Gerard and I, turning away from Dad to face us. She didn't sound angry though, which surprised me, allowing me some courage to speak.

“Y-yeah.” I stammered. Susan nodded thoughtfully.

“Oh, boy.” She muttered to herself. “Oh, boy.” She repeated a bit louder, the sighed.

“I'm sorry, Mom.” Gerard croaked, new tears slipping out of his eyes. I let go of his hand, but instead wrapped my arm around him protectively.

“Why are you sorry?” She wondered, sounding genuinely confused.

“B-because. Aren't y-you m-mad at me for being with a boy?” He stuttered tripping over his tears. I rubbed my hand up and down his arm.

“Gee.” She began softly, “Of course I'm not mad.”

“Wh-what?” Gerard sniffled, confusion filling his own voice; mapped out on his face.

“Why don't we start from the beginning.” She offered, “How long has this been going on? Are you two even dating?”

“We started dating late September. I officially asked him out early October.” I jumped in, giving her the same brief explanation I gave my Dad.

“So you're boyfriends?” Susan clarified. Gee and I nodded.

“Susan you can't really approve of this?” Dad cut in sounding annoyed.

“And why not?” Susan challenged, her eyes darting over to him.

“They're step-brothers.” Dad insisted. I had to resist the urge to gag. Gerard was not, and never will be my step-brother, not even when Susan and Dad get married. Gerard will forever be my boyfriend first.

“Yeah? Step. Not by blood.” She reasoned.

“So? We still all live under the same roof. You and I are getting married. It's not appropriate, especially if they're sexually active.” Dad countered. Again. I had to resist the urge to cringe, groan, or gag. Sexually active sounded so embarrassing coming out of my fathers mouth, more so considering it was in the context of me and my boyfriend. “Plus, Susan. Frank and Gerard...they just shouldn't be dating at all.” He huffed.

“And why's that?” Mom demanded

“For starters they're too young. Frank and Gerard just aren't right for each other-”

“Fucking shut up! That's your opinion!” I cut in, not being able to bite my tongue any longer.

“Hey!” Susan interjected, raising her voice but keeping it steady and calm at the same time. She was used to having to keep calm for Gerard's sake. “Frank don't talk to your Dad that way. And David.” She paused redirecting her attention to Dad after chastising me, “We will discuss this later, alone.”

“Fine!” Dad growled, getting to his feet in anger, “I'm leaving to our room then.” He announced, taking his whiskey with him, and stomping up the stairs like a child. Susan simply turned back to Gerard and I, shaking her head.

“Now.” She sighed, “Where were we?”

“Uh...Me and Gee are boyfriends.” I muttered, squeezing Gee's shoulder.

“Right.” She nodded, “So, Gee?”

“Y-Yes.” Gerard answered still nervous.

“So uhm. Is there any other relationship's that you haven't told me about? Y'know, that I should know about.”

“No.” He replied truthfully, shaking his head violently. “Franks my first anything.”

“I see.” Susan murmured, her eyes shifting quickly onto me then back to her son. “But you two are serious?” I turned to look at Gerard. Even in such a situation, like the one we were in I couldn't help but feel my heart strings tug and my stomach flutter. He was so completely and utterly beautiful. Gerard rested his head on my shoulder, a simple yet profound gesture in context of his mothers presence and question.

“Yeah.” I whispered, resting my head on top of Gerard's.

“And you love my son?” Susan pressed.

“Yes, yes I do.” I immediately replied wholeheartedly. Susan merely nodded. There was a quiet pause in the room.

“Frank, could you give me and Gerard a moment to talk?” She asked, staring at me intently. I looked down at Gerard. He lifted his head off my shoulder forcing my head off his. He tried, like always, to direct his eyes in the direction of my face. Lifting a hand carefully, I caressed his cheek with tenderness. Gerard closed his eyes but nodded, answering my silent question to whether or not he'd be okay if I left. Leaning in I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then turned back to Susan.

“Yeah, of course.” I offered, unwrapping my arm off of Gerard, and silently left the room.

*****

Once Frankie, left I was left all alone with my mother in the living room. Bringing my hands together, I began to wring them in my lap; a nervous habit. With Frank gone, I felt exposed and alone. It was almost as if Frank had become my pair of sunglasses. My protection; my safety guard. After a moment, Mom cleared her throat.

“Gee?” She started

“Y-Yes?” I stuttered.

“Baby, don't be nervous. I'm not mad.” She promised. I nodded slowly.

“Okay.” I whispered, ducking my head down.

“Why would you think I'd be mad at all?” She wondered, scooting closer to me on the couch. I felt her take one of my hands into hers. I sighed.

“Because. I-I was afraid that you'd be ashamed of me. You already have to deal with everything else about me. I just wanted to be normal for you.” I confessed, my voice trembling.

“Oh Gerard.” Mom cooed, letting go of my hand and wrapping me tightly into her arms, “You are just as normal as anyone else.”

“N-No, I'm not.” I protested, shaking my head, “I'm a freak.”

“Gerard. Don't ever talk like that. Normal doesn't even exist anyways. What is normal? Everyone has there own quirks. Everyone. Some people just hide there's better than others.” She insisted. I almost laughed, remembering the conversation I had with Frank a while back, about what a whore technically really was and how I said it didn't even exist. Mom sounded like me.

“But still,” I continued to argue nonetheless, “I'm difficult. I'm weirder than usual.”

“Baby, everyone's difficult.” Mom repeated. I sighed.

“Not everyone's blind with behavioral issues.” I muttered sourly. Mom sighed.

“Gerard,” She said, stroking a soft fingertip down my cheekbone, “Yes, that's true some people do have it more difficult than others but that doesn't mean necessarily mean they're worse. Honey, I just want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. And you have to be honest with me. If you really love Frank, than fine. I don't care. Just tell me.”

“I'm sorry.” I murmured, feeling tears sting my eyes.

“Don't be sorry, honey.” She waved off, kissing the crown of my head, “There's nothing we can do about it now. Just promise to be honest?”

“Yeah, okay.” I nodded in agreement.

“So...you're gay huh?” Mom said after a slight pause. I chuckled at her tone of thought.

“Well, not really.” I offered pulling gently out of her arms, “I like girls too. I like whatever I'm attracted to. I'm blind, ma. So when I feel attraction to something I don't care who or what it is.” I tried to explain as best I could. “I mean that's just me. If someone else who is blind and only attracted to men or women, I get that. But me, I dunno,” I paused to shrug, “That's just me.” Mom hummed in thought, absorbing my explanation.

“I think that's very mature of you Gerard.” She finally concluded, making me blush.

“Thanks, ma.” I mumbled. Another short pause.

“And you and Frank?” She began slowly.

“Yeah?” I replied apprehensively.

“How did that come about?” She pressed.

“Well actually, you know that girl I met at the mall? The one the same day I met David and
Frank...” I mumbled. Mom hummed in agreement, the equivalent to nodding in our house. “Well that was actually Frank. I met him first at the mall and he gave me his number. Then when they came over...well it was a mess. I tried to have Sarah and Matt help me fool him so he wouldn't know I was blind...then he hit me in the face with that baseball...and well you know the rest.” I shrugged.

“Oh my God!” Mom breathed, “I can't believe that girl was Frank the whole time. I feel so stupid!” She squealed.

“What? No, it's my fault for not telling you.” I insisted, reaching for her hand. Mom met me half way, intertwining our fingers together.

“I guess...I just wish you would have been more comfortable and confident in telling me all about it.” She sighed. I thought for a moment, wondering if I really wanted to bring up what I had been thinking during the whole duration of our conversation. With Mom's fingers rubbing the back of my hands, tracing my veins, I exhaled roughly.

“I was afraid.” I admitted

“Afraid of what?” Mom asked softly. I moved my wet shiny eyes up, trying to navigate her face with her voice.

“Afraid of what Dad would have thought.” I cried, reveling one of my biggest fears, my voice cracking at voicing that fear aloud. Closing my eyes shut I felt myself sob, while ,Mom gathered me close to her chest.

“Shhh.” She hushed, rocking me gently back and forth, stroking my hair down.

“I-I was a-afraid of w-wh-what he'd think of m-me.” I coughed out, “Being b-blind a-an-and w-with a boy-boyfriend.”

“Oh, no, no, no honey. I don't want you to ever think that.” Mom urged, “Your father would have been proud of you.”

“Proud.” I scoffed bitterly at such a suggestion.

“Yes, proud. So proud at how you've grown up. How strong you've been, and kind and smart and talented. How loving you still are after everything you've been through. He always just wanted you to be happy. That's all both of us ever wanted, Gee.” Mom went on, squeezing my arm ever now and then for emphasis, or brushing a tear away with her soft fingertips. “He loved you so much Gerard. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have ever changed that. He wouldn't have been mad or disappointed either. He would have been proud and I know it because that's how I feel. I'm proud of you baby. Who you love doesn't change that.”

I couldn't help but sob into my mothers chest, my tears being caught and absorbed into her shirt. I could smell the strong scent of vanilla and coffee on her, offering comfort. I inhaled deeply, shaking and crying out as an exhalation. Mom's words hit me hard, reassuring me of all the doubt I had been harboring before I had even met Frank, but was too afraid to confess. I wasn't crying from guilt and shame but from relief and love. Clinging to my mother, I gripped the cloth of her shirt into my fist, grabbing on for dear life. Sometimes it was just too hard to think about my father. Some days I felt like the weight of his absence would consume me whole, and I'd surely die. The only people in the whole world who understood this was my Mom, Sarah, and Matt. No one else. So when I felt like I could talk, it was such a release; that in itself was almost too much to bare.

I didn't have to feel ashamed of who I really was. I was lucky to have that. I didn't have to feel guilty for lying to my mother about who I really loved. I was thankful. I now was reassured that my father would have accepted me too. I was beyond grateful. The weight of it all was crushing and I had my mother to collapse into.

“Th-thank y-you.” I managed to choke out, blubbering all over Mom.

“Oh sweetie,” She cooed, kissing my wet cheeks. Rubbing my nose, with the back of my hand, I sniffled, resting back down on Mom. We lay there for awhile before I could stop crying and could settle down. Mom was patient, petting my hair and sniffling here and there. I think she was crying too, although softly. It was a good thirty minutes before I was able to pull away, still in her embrace, though. Mom rested her head on top of mine.

“You really do love Frank, huh?” Mom whispered, breaking the calm silence. I nodded shortly.

“I do.” I agreed, my voice hoarse from all the crying.

“I'm glad...Y'know it all kind of makes sense now.” She commented offhandedly.

“How so?” I perked up, wondering what she thought of all this.

“Just the way he always wanted to be with you and you with him. Like you two have been glued at the hip since you've met. And how Frank didn't want to go out on his birthday and how he volunteered to take care of you over Christmas...” She went on, sounding more like she was piecing it all together out loud than in her mind. “Wait a second.” She paused as if a thought came to her. “You weren't really sick were you?” Mom accused. I cringed a deep blush circling into my face. Weakly I nodded in embarrassment. Out of all the reactions Mom could have had, though, I did not expect her to laugh. Shocked, I chuckled too.

“Oh Gerard. My baby...Not so much a baby anymore, though huh?” She spoke fondly. I just blushed deeper. “Well all I have to say is that if you and Frank are having sex you better be using protection.” She chastised, her motherly tone coming back. I rolled my eyes.

“Of course, ma.” I lied. I don't think Frank and I ever had used a condom. I know he offered the first time, but we just hadn't ever thought about it again. We didn't want to. I mean if one of us wanted to, I know the other would comply...But Mom I guess didn't need to know everything. At least not about Frank and I's sex life.

Notes

One of my favorite chapter's I've written. I hope you liked it too! I would have uploaded it yesterday, but my sisters kidnapped me. And I finally signed up for classes for the spring! Points for Grace! Plus, FYI, from here on out the shit storms coming.