Love Should Always Be Blind

I wanted Frank and I to spend the holidays together; I was desperate for it. The next day, it turns out Mom and David told us that we had to be packed by Friday and we were all leaving early Saturday morning. Frank, late Thursday night, while me and him were in his room, planned for me to fake sick Saturday morning. That way Mom wouldn't have time to plan anything and Frank could offer to watch me, while they left. I could only pray it would work out. If it didn't I'd probably just die. Friday morning, I woke up in Franks room with Frank hugging my back. Humming awake, I turned over to face him.

“Morning, sleepy head.” He rasped out in a deep morning voice. I smirked as a silence response and leaned in, sealing out lips together. Frank kissed back happily, letting my tongue enter his mouth.

“Morning.” I murmured against his lips. I could feel him smile against my mouth, too. Reattaching our lips, we moved our mouths together in sync. Breaking away for breath, for a moment, Frank took no rest, but moved his lips to suck on my neck. Moaning quietly, I tangled my fingers into his long hair.

“Frankie.” I sighed, tugging at his locks. Frank groaned in response, making my dick grow. Bucking my hips into his, he moaned again, climbing on top of me. Once straddling me, he placed his lips back from my neck to my mouth. Moving his hips up and down, grinding them into mine, I moaned a little too loudly.

“Oh, Frank.” I murmured.

“Shh.” Frank hushed gently, switching back to suck and bite at a particular spot on my neck that made me shiver. While continuing to grind on each other, I somehow managed to hear Frank's bedroom door open. Frank immediately flopped over, off of me and onto my left.

“God. I did not want to see you dry-humping my brother.” Sarah scoffed, causing me to blush deeply. Frank scoffed back.

“Knock.” He growled

“Lock the door.” Sarah bit back. “You two are lucky I'm not Mom.”

“Locking the door would be suspicious.” Frank defended.

“Oh and humping on each other wouldn't be suspicious at all.” She pointed out sarcastically.

“Whatever. What do you want?” Frank demanded, sounding a bit more than annoyed at the interruption. Sarah smacked her lips together in her own irritation. I heard her feet cross the room and felt her weight dip in at the edge of the bed.

“Mom wants me to help, Gee pa- What the fuck is that!” She screeched, cutting her thought off into another one.

“What's what?” Frank wondered, still sitting next to me.

“Is that a hickey?!” She yelled, making me flinch when I felt a finger poke at my neck.

“What's a hickey?” I asked, swatting her hand away.

“You don't know what a hickey is?” Sarah and Frank both asked dumbfounded. I swallowed uncomfortably and shifted in my spot. The tone of their voices made me feel incredibly stupid.

“Uh. No.” I admitted slowly. “Am I suppose to?”

“Well. Yeah. I mean...I guess not.” Sarah struggled, “It's a bruise on the skin caused when someone, sucks on another.” She explained. Again I felt my face heat up at the implication.

“Oh.” I muttered.

“Yeah. Oh.” She accused, then I heard a hand smack something.

“Ow! Don't fucking hit me!” Frank cried.

“You fucking idiot! You guys suck at hiding your relationship. How are you going to explain to Mom how Gerard got a hickey? It magically appeared.” She demanded.

“Chill out, Sarah.” Frank ordered, “Gee can wear a turtle neck. It's December. She won't suspect a thing.”

“He's going to wear a turtle neck, 24/7?” Sarah bit dryly.

“It's only for a few days.” Frank waved off nonchalantly.

“A few day?” She wondered sceptically “Is there something I should know?” We were both silent. “Boys!” She chastised after an awkward pause.

“Alright, alright.” Frank caved. “We're going to try and have Gee fake sick Saturday morning so he can stay here with me for Christmas, okay?” Sarah was quiet for a few moments, saying nothing. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

“Fine. I don't care. As long as you take care of Gee.” She finally sighed.

“Of course I'm going to take care of him!” Frank insisted, as if the comment offended him.

“You better. But still. If you want to make it legit, I have to help Gerard pack. That's why I came in here, in the first place. And thanks to that I'm scarred.” Sarah's voice cringed.

“Don't be a baby.” Frank scoffed. “And we'll hide the hickey. Two days. You can't blame me though. Look at the kid.” He teased.

“Frank.” Sarah warned, “You're on such thin ice.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Frank laughed, pecking my cheek, then climbed over me to get to his feet.

“C'mon, Gee. Let's go pack.” Sarah ordered, grabbing my hand and helping me to my feet.
Sarah and I packed for the morning, while the rest of the day Frank and his Dad fought over whether or not he'd stay home. Matt took me outback, where we talked about school and his girlfriend, while their fighting took place. In the end, Frank won. He didn't have to go, but David wasn't very happy about it. Not at all.
Friday was boring, but I began to grow nervous that Frank and I's plan wouldn't work. Frank reassured me it would be fine. That he wouldn't let me leave either way. By the time Saturday morning rolled around, I didn't move when my alarm clock went off. I hit it into silence, but stayed in bed. After about twenty minutes, however, I heard my bedroom door creak open. I groaned, playing my part.

“Gerard!” Mom exclaimed, crossing the room and sitting at my side, “Why aren't you getting ready! We're leaving in less than a half hour!”

“I don't feel good.” I croaked. Mom rested a cool hand to my forehead.

“You do feel a bit warm...why don't you take that turtleneck off?” She suggested in a worried fashion. I shook my head.

“I'm cold.” I shivered, hugging the sweater closer to my body. Mom sighed.

“Oh, Gee.” She cooed, “What's wrong?”

“I feel nauseous. Like I'm going to be sick. And I'm cold and I ache.” I listed off, lying threw my teeth. I would have felt bad about lying if it weren't to spend two weeks alone with Frank.

“Oh, baby.” Mom huffed out, petting my head. “David!” She then hollered, “David, come here!” I heard shuffling around outside my bedroom, where Sarah and Matt were gathering their things. Then a heavy pair of footsteps.

“Where are you, Susan?” David called

“Gerard's room.” Mom shouted back, making me want to cover my ears. Mom's can scream so loud. It's like a gift. An evil gift. Mom must have kept my door open, because I heard no door open, when I heard David's voice next.

“What's wrong?” He asked softly.

“Gerard's sick. I have to stay.” Mom explained grimly.

“No! You can't stay, Susan.” David protested.

“He is my son, David.” Mom insisted.

“What's wrong?” Frank voice croaked questionably, sounding faint; a bit far off.

“Gerard's sick. Susan can't come to the cabin.” David filled in, sounding upset and irritated.

“Oh.” Frank muttered, now closer like he was in the room with the three of us.

“Wait!” David chirped hopefully, “You're staying home, can't you look after Gerard for us?”

“David.” Mom warned, sounding threatening.

“What? Why not? He's looked after him before.” David pointed out.

“That was one night. This is two weeks we're talking about!” Mom demanded, sounding tired.

“Well I can't just take Sarah and Matt to the cabin!” David exclaimed.

“I don't mind. I'll keep an eye on Gerard for you.” Frank interjected softly. Both Mom and David were quiet.

“Frank.” Mom warned, “You don't have to.”

“Really, though. It's Christmas.” Frank insisted. Mom sighed.

“Gerard, we're all going to talk about this.” Mom explained to me, pecking my forehead and getting up. I could hear three footsteps shuffle out of my room, then the door close. Sighing heavily, I felt incredibly nervous. I could only pray Frank convinced Mom, since David already seemed to be on our side. I guess he really just wanted to go to the cabin with Mom. That would only make me feel even worse too, for ruining David's plans by faking sick. Guilt pumped through my veins along with a fast heartbeat, only filtering it quicker into my system. Breathing heavily, I was beginning to sweat under the pressure of guilt, a turtleneck, and my thick covers. Thankfully, though, Mom came back into my room after about fifteen minutes, and sat back down next to me.

“Sweetie?” She murmured, flicking sweaty hair out of my face.

“Yeah?” I croaked.

“I don't like it, but Frank is going to watch you. Are you okay with that? She asked.

“I don't mind. I want you to enjoy the holidays.” I replied, smiling weakly when inside I wanted to yell and jump from joy!

“Oh, honey. I feel awful for leaving you here.” She began

“Don't.” I insisted before she could think about backing out. “I'll be fine.”

“Alright.” Mom started slowly and hesitantly. “Call if you need me. And if Frank isn't taking care of you or you just want me to come home, I will in a heartbeat.”

“Of course.” I simply answered, although not liking her implying Frank would take care of me. Mom sighed heavily again.

“Okay, honey. I guess we're going to leave then. I promise we'll do something special for you when we get back.” Mom promised.

“You don't have to do that.” I tried to wave off.

“I want to. Just rest okay?” She said, leaning down to kiss my cheek then got off the bed.

“Call if you need to.” She restated. I nodded. “I love you, Gee.”

“I love you too, Mom.” I smiled. With that, I heard her footsteps leave for the second time and the door close for about the millionth. Lying over onto my side, I exhaled in relief. I couldn't believe our plan actually worked! Despite my excitement, I found myself falling asleep again. It was like four AM in my defense. Sue me.
When I woke up again, I felt a pair of strong arms snaked around my waist. Smiling to myself I flipped over to face Frank. He didn't say anything and I could hear his even breathing. He was still asleep. Resting a careful hand onto his cheek, I stroked his soft skin and leaning in to kiss his lips. Not moving or waking still, I kissed his nose, his forehead, his eyelids. When I got nothing, I moved my lips to his ear.

“Wake up, Frankie.” I whispered, into the shell of his ear. Groaning awake finally, I felt him move around. Grinning triumphantly, I pulled back. “There we go.”

“Ugh. I'm so tired, Gee.” Frank protested his voice rough from sleep.

“C'mon! We did it! We have the house to ourselves for two weeks!” I exclaimed, then smashed my lips onto Franks. Immediately he kissed back, while I climbed over him to straddle his hips.

“Mmm.” He moaned into my mouth. I only smirked and ground my hips down against his. Frank placed his hands onto my hips and flipped our position.

“You're feisty this morning.” He commented with a low chuckle. I blushed but shrugged.

“Well duh.” I pushed off. Frank only pecked my cheek, however.

“Why don't we just relax for now.” He suggested. I pouted though, jutting my lips out.

“You don't love me.” I accused playfully.

“Oh of course I love you!” He insisted, planting kisses all over my face, causing me to giggle until I couldn't breathe.

“Frankie! Stop!” I cried, trying to push him away but he wouldn't budge with the kisses.

“Nope. I have to prove to you how much I love you!” He teased, in between smooches.

“I-I believe YOU!” I stuttered and chocked out, gasping for air.

“You believe what?” Frank teased. I would have rolled my eyes if I could have thought and breathed properly from all the tickle-y kisses.

“I believe that you love me!” I shouted and instantly the kisses stopped. Then one last big one on my lips.

“Good.” Frank chuckled, dropping to my side, to gather me in his arms.

“You're a dick.” I muttered, resting my hands over his.

“I'm your dick, though.” He hummed, nuzzling into my neck. “Plus. Part of it was revenge for waking me.”

“I woke you up because I wanted to blow you.” I pointed out.

“Too tired. Thanks for the offer.” He continued to tease. I sighed in response and did roll my eyes then.

“Frankie.” I whined to show my annoyance.

“What?” Frank laughed lightheartedly.

“When are we ever going to have sex?” I demanded. Frank tensed for a moment.

“Gerard...” He began slowly. “You know what I think.”

“I know. And all your requirements are filled.” I sighed. Frank I could feel propped himself onto his elbow.

“Requirements? You make it sound like a test.” He muttered dryly.

“Not like that.” I huffed, “But you wanted me to wait until I loved you. Well I do. You wanted for me to wait until I was ready, and I am. 100% ready, Frankie.”

“Gerard. I know you love me, but I just want you to be ready.” He protested, dismissing all what I had said.

“But I am!” I demanded, raising my voice.

“You don't know for sure. I thought so too, but I wasn't...Gee it's not like I don't want to. I just want you to be ready. I don't want it to ruin anything.” Frank explained. I exhaled sharply, propping myself onto my elbow too, to face Frank.

“Frankie.” I muttered softly, feeling out for his face. Frank grabbed my hand, guiding me to his cheek, resting his hand over mine. “I love you so much. It hurts me. It won't ruin anything. I love you. We've done everything else there is! How can sex ruin us? That's ridiculous.”

“It's not ridiculous. That's what happened to me with Bob.” Frank pouted warily.

“But that's not me! It's not like that for everyone's first time. I'm lucky. I get to have mine be with someone I love, who I adore.” I insisted. I could feel Frank soften. “Besides, did you feel like this with Bob before you even had sex? Be honest.”

“No. Not at all.” He sighed, knowing where this was going.

“See. You can't even compare the two.” I whined

“But that's why it scares me even more. I can't ruin this.” Frank begged, sounding on the verge of tears. I sighed, feeling like I was arguing with a brick wall.

“Gee. Baby. Please. Just think about it. Not right now. Not today.” He pleaded.

“Frank. We have two weeks to ourselves.” I pointed out.

“Exactly. Think about it. We have time. There's no rush I want it to be special for you. And me.” He said calm and hushed.

“It will be special. It's going to be with you.” I stated firmly. I could hear Frank exhale through his nose, but nonetheless he leaned forward offering me a sweet kiss.

*****

That weekend Frank I were practically glued to either my bed or his, wrapped up in each others arms, with the occasional blow or handjob. Well. More than occasional but you get the idea. Not matter how much I begged Frank to have sex with me he never budged, and went to suck my dick instead. It was getting annoying, but I had to remind myself he only was thinking of me. I enjoyed it being just the two of us in the house, immensely, however. We could be as loud as we wanted, not having to suppress or stifle moans and groans. We could walk around the house, holding hands. We didn't have to close doors or worry about who was home. It almost felt like how it would be if we lived together and I loved every minutes of it.
Mom of course called just about every hour, asking how I was doing. I had to fake sick every time, lying, telling her how much 'I've puked' or 'How achy I felt'. Then Frank had to insist he had it under control. And then I had to reassure Mom Frank was in fact, taking care of me. Another annoying thing. But I figured it beat, not being with Frank.
Saturday and Sunday flew by and before I knew it, it was Monday. The day of Frankie's big gig. The one with the manager or whatever. Frank was nervous the whole day, but I had my ways of calming him. But my 'ways' only lasted and helped so much. When he was like one hour away from having to leave, he was a shaking mess.

“Frankie.” I tried gently, “You have to calm down.”

“I know. But I can't.” He whined, making me chuckle lightly. We were sitting downstairs in the living room, with Donnie Darko playing in the background.

“Why don't you get ready? You have to leave soon.” I suggested. Anything to get his mind off the gig for a little.

“Aren't you going to get ready, too?” Frank asked, sounding confused. I furrowed my eyebrows together, also confused.

“I'm going?” I wondered.

“Why wouldn't you? I need you there.” Frank insisted.

“Who's going to watch me though?” I asked slowly.

“You can stay backstage. No one goes there besides musicians. You'll be perfectly safe.” Frank explained, “You didn't think you weren't going, did you?”

“Well...yeah.” I shrugged.

“Oh, Gee.” Frank murmured, wrapping an arms across my shoulder to bring me into his lap, “I wouldn't just leave you home alone.” I blushed, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“I dunno.” I muttered.

“Well, I wouldn't. You're coming with me.” Frank announced firmly. I smiled. I loved just how protective he was. Not the protective like Mom or Sarah or Matt; the kind where I can't move without being watch like a hawk. The protective where he cared how I felt and worried about what I thought. Frank then kissed the crown of my head and lead me upstairs to get ourselves ready.
I wore skinny jeans, a sweater and leather jacket. It was two days from Christmas and fucking freezing. Once Frank and I were ready and outside, I instantaneously froze up with my teeth chattering. I loved the winter. But I loved to enjoy it inside curled up my the fire place. Not outside like a wild animal. Frank ushered me into his car though; after that, I could hear the crunch of his boots in the snow, while he moved around the car to the drivers side. Jerking the car door open, I could feel him plop his weight down and start the car.
The drive wasn't long and I was starting to get used to going downtown. I was nervous though. I wouldn't have Matt and Sarah with me this time. I knew Frank would take care of me, but I still had that fear Mom had embedded into me that I was vulnerable and someone would hurt me, steal me, or take advantage of me. Frank sensed my nerves, although I should have been the one comforting him, and took my hand, holding it tight the whole car ride. I squeezed back, hoping to convey my support for him as well. Really I think we both knew we just needed each other.
By the time we had arrived at the venue, I think the weather just got increasingly colder to be an asshole, smirking down at us as we froze to death. Frank wrapped an arm around my shoulder, guiding me to the entrance. I gratefully huddled closer into him for warmth, Frank kissing my cold cheek with his warm lips in reply.
Deja Vu settled into my stomach immediately when we got past the front line, and into the bar. I had gone to other gigs since the first, but for some reason that night, that's what it felt like. The first gig we had gone to together minus Matt and Sarah's absence. Loud noises pounded and vibrated into my ear drums and sensitive hearing. The bass of the currently paying band. The mixed chattering of people. The drunken hyena laughs. Not the mention the smell of beer and piss and smoke. I didn't have too long to linger, though as Frank straight away lead me to the room where musicians stayed.
Frank pulled away his arm that still rested on my shoulder to open a door. Once inside, instant silence. Besides the mild chatter of band members and technicians. I sighed, thankful for the relief.

“Hey, Hambone!” Frank cheered, his footsteps moving a few steps to my left.

“Hey Frankie! Finally made it I see.” Hambone's increasingly similar voice sounded in my ears. I heard the rough pats and slaps. They must have been giving each other a hug. Then I felt strong arms envelope me, making me flinch and tense. Hambone's unique smell of cigarettes and wood, however then signaled me that it was indeed just Hambone himself. I relaxed gently patting him back.

“Hey Gee!” Hambone greeted.

“Warn him, Hambone.” Frank scolded. “You can't just sneak up on him like that!” He but in before I could reply to Hambone.

“Gee knew it was me!” Hambone defended, slapping me on the back. “Didn't you?”

“Yeah. It's fine.” I said weakly. I was getting to know Frankie's band much better, but I still couldn't help but feel shy around them.

“Right.” Frank scoffed, taking my hand and pulling me down onto a leather couch. “I'm going to go get you a diet coke okay? You just hangout here. I'll be right back, baby.” He explained, leaning down to peck my lips. I smiled softly and nodded. Feeling a gently whip of wind around me, I knew Frank had walked away, then accompanied by the sound of a door opening and closing.
It was times just like that, when I was alone in an unfamiliar place, I wished I had my sunglasses on. Frank had finally pushed me into going into public without them. Of course he didn't really push me, necessarily. More or less persuaded me. I knew it was going to be hard no matter how ready I felt, so I just decided eventually to take the plunge. But that didn't mean I was comfortable with it yet. I didn't know where to direct my eyes and usually defaulted in bowing my head down into my lap. And that's just what I decided to do then. Fiddling my thumbs I began to count down from ten. When I did that five times, I moved on the counting my senses quietly in my head. Just little tricks to keep myself calm and pass the time. I didn't get too far, only making it past sound and onto touch, when I heard Hambone shout my name.

“Hey, Gerard!” He hollered. Snapping my head up in the direction of his voice, I hummed in reply. “Mind if I sit down with you?”

“Yeah, of course you can.” I insisted, “Don't mind what Frank said. He's just...I dunno...you know?” I struggled in trying to explain how Frank was with people respecting me and my space.

“Yeah, I know.” Hambone chuckled, flopping down his weight beside me. “Frank can be overprotective with people he cares about. You know he cares a lot about you, right?”

“I know.” I nodded, bowing my head down again. Hambone slung an arm around me.

“Frank loves you. I can see it. Like he really loves you.” He reiterated.

“I love him too.” I agreed, a hint of a smile gracing my lips.

“I'm glad. You know Frank...he's had a hard time lately. And he's my best friend, ya know...I mean it's not my place to tell-”

“I know, Hambone. He's talked to me about it.” I reassured politely.

“Oh. Good, good. So you know about Bob and all?” He asked.

“About how they didn't really work out? And he like kinda went down hill after?” I rephrased, making sure we were both on the same page.

“Yeah. That. He's gone through a lot. It makes me happy to see him finally happy.” Hambone stated, the pride in his voice evident. I didn't really know what to say though, merely nodding. “I really hope things workout for you too. I like you too Gerard. You're good for him.” He went on when I didn't reply. I nodded again though.

“Thanks.” I shyly muttered, Just then, however, I heard the room's entrance door open and close.

“Hambone, don't bother my boyfriend.” Frank called, his voice becoming closer with each word. Hambone chuckled, shaking my shoulder.

“What? I can't have a nice conversation with someone without bothering them?” Hambone scoffed, playing hurt.

“No.” Frank answered, flatly, making Hambone and I laugh. “Now scoot over the two of you.” he ordered. I felt Hambone shuffle to his left and I did the same to make room. Franks weight dipped in the leather couch, his arm instantly circling my shoulder, shoving Hambone's away..

“Here, babe.” He murmured, thrusting a cold can of pop into my hand.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, sipping the bubbly drink gingerly.

“So, Frank. What are you two love birds doing tonight?” Hambone asked, before any other conversation could be started. I felt Frank's shoulders shrug.

“I dunno. Making out.” He teased sarcastically. I blushed profusely, elbowing Frank in the stomach softly.

“Frank.” I hissed. Frank just giggled.

“I love it when he says my name like that.” He continued, causing me to groan in frustration.

“Okay, okay.” Hambone, cut in “Besides that?”

“I dunno. Nothing.” Frank said nonchalantly.

“Well the bands having a party at Tim's. Like a 'if we get this agent to offerus a deal let's celebrate party', or a 'if we don't get a deal lets drown our sorrow in alcohol party'. Either way, we plan on getting smashed.” Hambone chuckled at his own joke. “You guys should come.”

“I'll pass.” Frank answered dryly, I could practically hear his eyes rolling.

“Aw, c'mon. Why not?” Hambone whined.

“Because. Gee's not into parties and plus, I'd rather just chill.” Frank explained as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

“No, we can go.” I but in quietly. I could feel Frank and Hambone direct their gaze on me.

“Gee. We don't have to.” Frank's beer breath whispered in my ear.

“No, it's okay. It sounds like fun.” I insisted.

“See! Gerard wants to go.” Hambone interjected. Frank moved his head, but said nothing. I could feel the glare he had given him though.

“No. Frank. Have fun with your band.” I said, patting his thigh with my free hand. Frank sighed exasperated.

“Fine. We'll go. But only for a few hours.” He demanded,

“Fine with me.” Hambone chirped gleefully. “...Anyways. We're on soon. So be ready, Frankie.” he went on, lifting his weight from the couch and moving somewhere else in the room. Frank, in that time, shifted his weight more conveniently to face me.

“Gee. We don't have to go. I don't even want to go. My friends are dumb asses. Especially when they're shit-faced.” Frank tried to convince. I rolled my eyes.

“Frankie. I know you want to go. That's bullshit. And they're your friends. They can't be that bad. Plus we'll be together. This is a big thing for you guys. I don't want you not going just because of me.” I went on, nuzzling my face into his shoulder. Frank sighed, resting his face on top of my head and inhaling deeply.

“I love you, Gee. So, so much.” He muttered with a heavy exhalation.

“Alright. Penecy Prep. You're on. Let's go!” Someone shouted, from across the room. Probably a technician or something along the lines of that title. Frank sighed again.

“Well, that's my cue, Gee.” He breathed, “Just hangout. Or come to the backstage. It's just outside the room. Smoke some cigs, drink your drink.”

“I'll be fine.” I smiled, “I'll listen to you.” then got up with Frank. He took my hand gently, guiding me out of the room along with his band. Like he said, once we exited out the room, we took only a few turns here and there. Then steps and I could hear the crowd growing increasingly loud once we grew closer and closer. Eventually Frankie stopped, turning to face me.

“I have to go on stage. You sure you'll be here?” He fluttered.

“Yeah. I'll be just fine. Go kill it.” I offered with a supporting grin. Frank pecked my check, and I
felt him leave. I leaned against a wall, sipping my drink, while I listened in on conversations around me. The sounds of footsteps and Frank and his band setting up their equipment. It was almost hypnotizing how the sounds ebbed and flowed together. Like if you almost listened close enough and long enough, you would think it was all planned. You could almost anticipate the next movement of sound. Before too long, I could hear Frank's voice greet the crowd, beginning the show with Heroin Slow like he usually did.
I smiled softly, tapping me feet to the rhythm while sipping on my decreasing amount of diet soda pop. I even found myself mouthing the lyrics under my breath to no one but myself. After about three or four songs, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Hey! You know Frank? You're his boyfriend, right? Gerard?” A girls voice shouted over the loud noise. I nodded.

“Yeah, I am. I'm sorry, but who are you?” I wondered as politely as I could, thrusting a hand out towards their voice before they could. I felt a soft hand take hold of mine and shake.

“I'm Sophie. Neil's girlfriend.” She answered kindly. “I've seen glimpses of you at other shows but haven't gotten the chance to introduce myself.”

“Oh, well...I don't really see glimpses of people. I don't really see at all.” I joked, relieved Sophie laughed too at my morbid joke.

“Yeah, I heard Frank talking about you before. He mentioned you couldn't see.” She carefully explained.

“It's no big deal.” I grinned honestly.

“Not at all. I think people make too big of a deal of people who have disabilities. Like the fact their afraid to say disabilities.” She said, making me chuckle. It was all too true. “You see,” she went on, “I have a sister who's deaf. I know it's not being blind, but I can only imagine...”

“No! You're right. People get easily uncomfortable around things they don't understand.” I agreed, nodding my head. “Was your sister born deaf?”

“Yeah. She was. Were you born blind?” Sophie countered

“Actually no. I was seven.” I offered truthfully.

“Oh man. That's got to be rough. Sometimes I think it would be worse to know what the lack there of, is worse, than not knowing at all.”

“Yeah. I'm not sure. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not know at all. You know? I guess it just sucks either way.” I shrugged.

“Touche.” Sophie laughed warmly. I liked her. She was easy to talk to. She didn't actually make me feel out of place.

“So are you going to go to that party after this?” I wondered.

“Yeah, Neil's dragging me. Are you?” She asked.

“I am. I'm actually dragging Frank.” I informed.

“You're dragging Frank?” She replied, sounding a bit dumbfounded.

“Yeah, he doesn't really want to go.”

“Man. That's weird to hear.” Sophie muttered offhandedly.

“Why?” I wondered, knitting my eyebrows in confusion.

“Well, I guess Frank just always goes to parties. He's the one usually throwing them. It's weird to think of him not wanting to go to one. I mean... it's good I guess.” She seemed to shrug off. I hummed in thought. Everyone seemed to be genuinely surprised at Frank's new reputation sprouting. Had he really been that bad? Sophie didn't let me wonder in the thought for too long, however and changed the subject. For the rest of the show we chatted about school and typical stuff like that while listening to our boyfriends play. Somewhere in the show, Sophie offered me a cigarette and we chain-smoked for the time being. I actually was having a better time than I thought. Before I knew it, I heard Frank saying thank you to the crowd and goodnight. Cheering and shuffling feet sounded in my ears then, as the band trotted down the metal stairs towards back stage.

“Gee! Sophie!” Frankie's breathless voice shouted. His strong arms circled around my waist, pulling me closer to his sweaty body. Pecking my cheek I couldn't help but grin. “What are you guys up to?” He inquired.

“Just chatting. You guys did great!” Sophie answered happily, “Where's Neil?”

“He went to the back room to set his stuff up before that agent talks to us.” Frank informed.

“Alright, well I'm going to go find him then.” Sophie announced, a wave of air passing by my skin informing me that she had left.

“So what did you think of the show?” Frank asked, turning his attention towards me.

“It was great! You were so good, Frankie.” I encouraged, knowing he was more than nervous still to talk to the agent. Frank kissed my lips in reply, bringing a hand to my cheek while the other remained tight on my waist. Pulling back, he rested his head on my forehead with a sigh.

“I love you.” He murmured for no reason. I couldn't help but feel one half of my lips curl up into a faint smile.

“I love you too.” I reassured quietly.

“Okay, enough PDA!” Hambone's voice appeared from behind Frank and I, making me jump slightly. “Frank, we all got to go meet that agent at the bar!”

“Alright, alright.” Frank sighed, loosening his hold on me, “I'll be there in a minute.”

“Well hurry up.” Hambone warned one last time and he was gone. Frank moved back to me.

“C'mon. I'll take you to the back room.” He offered, taking my hand and leading be back to the room we first had gone to when we arrived at the gig. The same twist and turns I remembered from before, were played out. Once we arrived into the quiet room, Frank lead me back to that same leather couch. Sitting down with a sigh, he pecked my lips.

“I'll be right back. It shouldn't take but fifteen minutes.” Frank promised. I nodded my head.

“Okay. I'll be fine.” I reassured gently. Frank exhaled heavily through his nose before giving me one more kiss then finally left.
Alone in the silent room, I allowed myself to relax knowing Frankie would be back soon. The soft background noise that was in the room before the show, wasn't even there anymore. I think I was completely alone. And if I wasn't, those people with me, didn't make themselves know. So in default, I rested back on the couch and shut my eyes. The quiet was welcome after all of the noise. Plus with the thought that Frank and I would be heading to that party after this, I figured this was my only chance to rest and be alone with my own head.
I must have drifted off however, because before I knew it I was being shaken gently, accompanied with Frank's soft murmuring in my ear.

“Gee. Baby, you have to get up.” He cooed, in my ear. I groaned and stretched my muscles, in order to try and wake myself up. “I'm sorry. It took longer than I had expected.”

“What time is it?” Was all I could think of to reply in my disgruntled state.

“Almost midnight.” Frank informed. I snapped my eyes open to darkness.

“Really?” I pressed from shock.

“Yeah. I'm sorry. We can just go home and sleep if you want?” Frank offered. I shook my head though.

“No, no.” I insisted, sitting up, “It's fine. I got a nap.” I joked lightly, “I'll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” He urged. I nodded.

“Positive.” I agreed. Frank pecked my lips, brushing his fingertips across my cheekbone.

“Alright. Let's go then.” He decided, helping me to my feet.

“Where is everyone? How did the agent thing go?” I wondered aloud, my voice hazy, as Frank lead me out of the musician's room and back out to the bar. The place had quieted down significantly, now that the bands for the night were done, a mere radio playing overhead.

“Everyone's already making their way to Tim's.” Frank explained, his hand on the small of my back, guiding me still out the bar and into the freezing December night. I shivered under Franks hand, my teeth instantly chattering. “I'll tell you about the agent on the way. Let's just get in the car first, it's fucking cold.” He continued. After crunching through the snowy parking lot, Frank stopped, halting me as well. Moving away, I heard the a car door open, then seconds later Frank guided me to sit in the passenger seat. Once buckles, he slammed the door shut then ran to the drivers side.
After cranking the heat on full blast, Frank and I made our way over to Tim's place. Frank was very jittery with pent up adrenaline coursing through his body, which made him talk nonstop the whole way there. I chuckled to myself, as I listened to him go on about how many people were in the crowd when Penecy Prep played, how nervous he had been, how he felt like he just took heroin or something, then laughing at himself when he thought of Heroin Slow. I rolled my eyes, amused at his child like manner, yet secretly loving it. Frank was adorable. Driving for an hour, give or take, Frank stopped the car, parking it on the street, then cut the engine. Neither of us moved though.

“So are you going to tell me about what the agent said?” I pressed, while shifting to direct my body towards him.

“Oh yeah! Man! I was so fucking nervous. So when me and Hambone went to the bar, the rest of the guys and this dude were there drinking and talking. It was actually not as scary as I thought it would be. The dude was cool. His name was Bryan. We just talked to him over a few beers. He told us he liked our sound and that it felt promising. Isn't that exciting?” Frank cheered, “He gave us his number and took ours, telling us he'd contact us within the month or so, to set up something hopefully in the studio!”

“Oh, Frank that's great!” I smiled encouragingly, “I'm so proud. I knew you'd do great.”

“Thanks, Gee.” Frank murmured, leaning forward to kiss my lips, the sound of seat cushions squeaking under our weight. I fell into the kiss, it beginning slow but growing. That was the thing. I never knew what Frank and I's kisses could lead to. They could lead to anything. Just a kiss itself or a heated make out session or even more. I just never knew until it happened. I loved it.
In this instance, Frank and I didn't separate, letting the kiss feed and grow fire. Frank's hands wondered, one resting and massaging my thigh, while another cupped my jaw. I tangled mine into his hair, relishing in the feeling of its silky texture and sweet sent.

“You sure you don't want to go home and continue this?” Frank tried to coax, while he pulled back to breathe, his lips moving on mine.

“And just how far will it continue?” I countered, arching an eyebrow. Frank sighed, causing me to chuckle, although I was really disappointed in reality to the fact that he didn't want to 'continue' as far as I wanted to, and would rather go to a party he didn't even want to go to in the first place, than have sex with his own boyfriend.

“Fine, lets go inside.” Frank huffed, but I stopped him from moving farther, deciding to take matters into my own hands. Climbing over the console, I managed to wiggle my way into Frank's lap, awkwardly straddling him.

“Wha-?” Frank tried to ask, with me only cutting him off by throwing my mouth onto his hungrily. Frank made a sound of surprise, but kissed back nonetheless, grabbing my waist. Slipping my tongue in, it was sloppy with teeth and all tongue and spit. Frank let himself apparently give in, as I felt him grow under my lap. Triumphantly, I moved my lips to his neck, nipping and sucking and licking over the marks I couldn't see, but now knew were called, hickeys. Frank groaned, his body warm against mine despite the cold and lack of heat, due to our moving and friction between our bodies. I smirked against the skin of his neck, trailing back to his lips while simultaneously threading my fingers into his hair. In no time, I began to let myself grind down onto him, causing us both to moan, our sounds of lust getting swallowed in the confinement of the car.

“I want you so bad, Frankie.” I whined, gripping his shoulders. Frank only groaned deeply in the back of his throat as a reply, accompanied by a thrust upward of his hips into mine. I could practically feel Franks resistance falling to pieces in my hands. Grinning happily, I nuzzling my sweaty forehead against Franks sweaty neck, while we continued to grind onto each other just for a moment. Before I could even begin to undress either myself or Frank however, there was a rapping on the car window. Frank and I both practically jumped out of our skins to the intruding noise.

“What the fuck?!” Frank shouted, making me tense. I had no idea what had tapped on the window... “Hambone, what the fuck do you want?” he continued to yell, while reaching down to roll down the window. I could immediately feel the cold air wash over onto my overheated skin.

“Sorry. I didn't expect to see you two practically fucking in your car.” Hambone laughed unfazed, while I on the other hand was blushing profusely, just at the thought that Hambone had seen me on top of Frank, let alone fucking humping him. On one hand I was happy we hadn't gotten as far as fucking. I think I would have died of embarrassment if Hambone caught us doing that. Frank would have regretted it to, if we got caught and knew I was embarrassed by it. While on the other hand, I was pissed and resentful to the fact, Hambone may have just interrupted me losing my virginity to my boyfriend who I had finally gotten to somewhat agree to making love to me. Now Frankie was never going to have sex with me. Damn you Hambone. Goddamn you.

“Why are you even out here?” Frank questioned, irritably, tearing me from my inner monologue.

“We noticed you pull up but not get out. I got worried and said I was going to check on you. I guess it was because you were about to fuck Gerard, you bastard.” Hambone teased, only making me blush harder. Burying my face into Frank's shoulder, I hid my face.

“Shut the fuck up, Hambone. You say one more word about this, I won't hesitate to kill you. Now go back inside. We'll be right in when we find our dignity.” Frank spat out, obviously not seeing any humor.

“Alright, alright...” Hambone surrendered, his voice backing away. “After at least jerking each other off that is.” I heard him mumble loud enough for us to obviously hear.

“Hambone!” Frank warned, but all I heard was loud quick footsteps of Hambone running away.

“He needs to get fucking laid or he wouldn't be so fucking entertained by all this.” He grumbled to himself. I just sat on Franks lap awkwardly, though not sure what to do. I felt so embarrassed I wanted to cry. “Hey, don't be upset, baby.” Frank cooed, noticing my discomfort. I shrugged and sniffled.

“I feel stupid.” I muttered.

“Why? Cause fucking Hambone saw us? That nerd wont do anything. He doesn't care either.
He wont think twice about it. Yeah he might give us shit privately but that's all. Forget it.” He tried to comfort, but I didn't feel any better.

“Were you going to let us have sex?” I probed, not commenting on Hambone. Frank was silent a moment, probably stunned.

“What? I- Uh. I- I...” He stammered. “I don't know.”

“Were you?” I pushed, feeling suddenly frustrated. Frank sighed heavily.

“I don't know. Maybe. I shouldn't have...We got caught up.” He decided.

“Got caught up?” I scuffed. “Was that all it was?”

“No! Gerard...you know how I feel about this.” He tried to defend. I wasn't having it though, feeling around on the side of the car for the handle. Finding and clutching the metal handle, I thrust it open. Stumbling around I managed to fling myself off of Frank and onto the street.

“Gee, be careful!” Frank cried, rushing to my side.

“I'm fine.” I huffed, shrugging him off.

“Don't be mad, Gerard. You know that I love you.” He pleaded.

“Do you? Cause I get the feeling you don't even want to make love to me.” I yelled toward him.

“I do though! I really do! Just not like this!” He countered. I scowled though, furrowing my eyebrows and creating lines on my forehead.

“Whatever.” I bit shortly, “Lets just go inside to the damn party.”

“No, I don't want you to be mad at me. Let's talk about this.” Frank insisted.

“I don't want to talk about it. Drop it.” I demanded. “Lets go.” Frank sighed heavily, but slammed the car door shut. Taking my hand he lead me to the house, but once we stepped inside I let go of his grip.

Notes

E-hum. So according to my word document, if you've gotten this far, you've read 169 pages already. Double spaced. Speaking of which, I think this format is prettier and easier to read. So yeah. I think I might go back and edit the other chapters like this.
Btw I feel super sick. Like having type one diabetes weakens your immune system since it's an auto immune system disease. And like I feel like I'm just sick all the time. I'm sure I'm dying this time though.
Btw btw I need to apply for jobs and get schooling figured out but it's sooo hard to get anything done when I'm tired all the time and hate myself. And the only thing I care about really is writing this fic. Plus my older siblings are all up on my dick about getting a job and it's sups annoying, only thus creating more pressure and stress.
Anyways. I hope you still like this. Have a good day/week!!!