Love Should Always Be Blind

November kinda sucked. Frank and I both felt like Mom was getting suspicious about our relationship. I guess friends didn't sleep in the same bed every night, even if they did lived in the same house. And especially boys, for that matter, as ridiculous as that is. And when they did sleep in the same bed, they didn't 'wake up wrapped in each others arms' as Sarah had put it. So for precaution, Frank and I tried to keep our sleeping with each other down to once a week, unless that is I got scared or upset or Frank was feeling particularly lonely/cuddly.

Nonetheless, I think we got Mom off our case for the most part. Matt got a girlfriend too which helped distract Mom's attention. Her name is Mary. She seems cute and nice, from what I can tell. Mom had her come over for dinner. It was a much better family dinner then when David and Frank first came over. No one got any baseballs thrown at them or had unreasonably awkward conversation. So that was good. Frank had a few more gigs too and Mom actually let me go. More or less chained to Sarah and Matt, though, of course. But it was a start, however, and I suppose that's all I could ask for.

But what sucked the most, though, was that for Thanksgiving, Frank had to go to Ohio and spend it with his Mother and her family. It was part of the deal his Mom and David had together. So for the week of Thanksgiving Frank was gone. I felt very very lonely and sad. And it's like I was fine before Frank came into my life, I could handle being alone. I even liked being alone. I could sleep alone, and if I couldn't, I'd snuggle in with Sarah. I had control over my thoughts and what I wanted to think...for the most part. Now that Frank came into my life, that all crumbled. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I felt empty and alone. The only thing I wanted was for him to hold me while I fell asleep. I just wanted to hold his hand, and kiss his lips. That's it. But I couldn't have it. It was neither fair nor felt good. I felt home sick.

Sarah let me sleep with her every night Frank was gone. She let me braid her hair before we went to bed and she scratched my back like I liked to help me rest. I love Sarah. I really do. And if there was one thing I got out of Frank being gone, was I got to spend more time with my Sarah. Ever since Frank, I hadn't spent as much time with her as I'd liked.

Thanksgiving was the usual. Mom's parents came over and Dad's parent too. Some Aunt's and Uncles here and there. Mostly from Mom's side. Dad had a brother that came over with his family. Uncle Aaron. He was nice and funny, but it made Mom sad sometimes because him and Dad were twins, so he reminds Mom a lot of Dad. But I liked seeing Dad's family. I mean just because Dad died, doesn't make them not our family. Plus I got to hear stories about Dad, that Mom was always too sad to tell. But that was pretty much the month. Ray was just as hard as ever with lessons. Especially since I was graduating soon...I still had to talk to him about college. I'd thought about it a lot. But I've been very nervous and scared, not to mention distracted with Frank and David.

Anyways, that afternoon Frank was coming home; I was more than excited. But nonetheless I stayed in my room the whole day, until he got home. David and Mom had to pick him up from the airport, anyways. Matt was at his girlfriend's and Sarah was at the movies with friends. So I was home alone. By the time, Mom, David, and Frank got home from the airport, I think I had fallen asleep waiting. I heard a loud slamming of the front door, causing me to jump awake and rub my sleepy defected eyes. There was muffled chatter downstairs then the heavy sound of footsteps trotting up the steps. Holding my breath, I though Frank was going to burst into my room. When he didn't, however, I let out the breath in a gust of disappointment. Rushing thoughts flooded my mind, terrible, terrible thoughts. 'what if Frank met someone in Ohio', 'Maybe being gone made him realize he was sick of me...'. Those kind of terrible thoughts.
Sitting up bed, I lazily grabbed my hand around for my sunglasses. Once my fingers came in contact with the plastic, I immediately snatched them and placed them properly onto my face. But not two seconds after, my bedroom door swung open, followed my frantic footstep and a body flinging themselves right next to me.

“Gee!” Frank exclaimed, wrapping his arms around me and burring his face into the crook of my neck. Slowly I wrapped my arms back, surprised by the sudden action. Pulling back, Frank pecked my cheek.

“Why are you wearing these stupid things?” He asked in disgust, ripping my sunglasses off and throwing them somewhere in the room.

“Hey!” I protested, but Frank just chuckled, grabbing my face into his hands to plant a long sweet kiss. Missing his familiar lips, I couldn't help but melt into the kiss, combing my fingers threw his soft locks of hair, that had appeared to have grown over the last week or so. Pulling away with a sigh, I let myself fall into Frank's embrace.

“I missed you so much.” I mumbled against his shirt. Frank petted my hair lovely.

“I missed you too, baby.” He replied, “I thought I was going to die. I hate my Mom's.”
Laying back, Frank still holding me in his arms, I began to draw circles into the fabric of his shirt, inhaling and basking in his sent. Coffee, cigarettes, and detergent as always. Nuzzling my face into his chest I sighed in content.

“Why? Tell me about your trip.” I asked, curiously.

“It was shit.” He answered, grumpily. “Mom's got a new boyfriend. Typical. So his shit ass family was there too. Mom pestered me about if I had a boyfriend or not. I told her no, because I can never count on her fat mouth to keep a secret.” He grumbled, making my giggle at his comment. “The house is never as comfy as home. Old people everywhere. Lots of meat everywhere...And none that I like.” Frank teased, at the end, nuzzling his nose along my jaw, making my laugh and push him away playfully.

“Frankie.” I whine. “Your such a horn dog.”

“I can't help it.” He insisted, continuing to rub his face on mine. “I had to masturbate like all week...I thought about you though the whole time.”

“Is that suppose to please me?” I wondered dumbfounded, raising my eyebrows.

“Well, I dunno. Did you think about me? Did you touch yourself, thinking about me, Gee?” Frank kept teasing, causing my cheeks to flare up.

“Frankie! Don't be so crude.” I demanded, lamely.

“It's a chore too, finding time to jerk off with a million old people in one house.” He went on, ignoring my comments. I sighed.

“What am I going to do with you Frank?” I muttered, up to the ceiling.

“Jerk me off.” He couldn't help but say. I groaned in frustration. I guess I should have seen that coming right at me. “C'mon! You didn't masturbate to me in mind, once?” He pressed, not letting the subject fall. I covered my face in my hands, in embarrassment.

“Frank.” I whined. “Why does it matter?”

“Because I just want to know. Don't be embarrassed! I just admitted it myself, that I jerked off to you.” He put so blatantly. I wasn't like him though, in that sense. I didn't just talk about who or what I masturbated to. It was private. Yeah he's my boyfriend...but still. I dunno....

“If you say yes or no, I'll let it drop.” He sang in compromise. I grumbled.

“Fine.” I huffed. “...yes.” I muttered quietly.

“I'm sorry.” He said, “I didn't quit catch that.”

“I said YES!” I shouted, making Frank giggle.

“Yes, what?” He kept digging at. I rolled my eyes in mortification.

“I masturbated thinking about you!” I whispered angrily. Frank let out a breathy laugh, kissing my neck.

“That's all I wanted to hear.” He smugly sighed while I huffed out a loud exhalation. “You know I love you.”

“I love you too.” I replied begrudgingly.

“How was Thanksgiving for you anyways?” Frank wondered, thankfully changing subjects.

“It was good.” I answered truthfully, “I always love getting to be with my Dad's part of the family, cause I don't get to often.”

“How come?” Frank wondered, combing his fingers through my hair.

“Because,” I sighed, against his warm chest. “It makes Mom sad. I mean she's fine with my grandparents and aunts and uncles coming over for Holidays and call and keep in contact with me, Sarah, and Matt. But it's hard for her. Like she doesn't like to think about Dad. I think having David this year helped though, too. But anyways...besides the Holidays, if they want to see us, they have to get us.” I explained. “And I love being with my Grandparents. My Dad's Mom makes the best cheesecake and his Dad likes to help me play guitar.”

“Hmm.” Frank hummed sympathetically, “I'm sorry. But you did have a good time right?”

“Yeah. I did.” I concluded with a shrug. “...but I missed you, too.”

“I missed you.” Frank smiled against my head, squeezing his arms around me. “I could barely sleep without you.”

“Me either.” I admitted, beginning to draw circles on his shirt once again. We were silent for a while simply enjoying the comfort of each other we had missed. I closed my eyes, humming in content. I never thought I could need someone so much in my entire life, the way I needed Frankie. I only hoped he felt the same way about me.

Frank absentmindedly, rubbed my back with his fingertips, causing me to get sleepy. Every now and then he'd turn his head and kiss my face; cheek, forehead, nose, even lips. I just wanted him to consume me and swallow me whole. It was a painful kind of pleasurable love...if that makes any sense. After probably, an hour of cuddling, Frank sighed. I was just about to fall asleep but his noises pricked my senses.

“What's up, Frankie?” I mumbled my voice coated with sleep.

“I dunno...” His voice trailed off as if he was thinking about something he wasn't sure whether to say or not.

“What is it?” I pressed gently, “You can tell me.” I cooed, perking up a bit. Frank sighed heavily, his rubbing on me skin growing rougher, like he was nervous and apprehensive. I was getting worried again, that stupid kind of worried. 'What if he cheated and is nervous to tell me?', 'What if he's trying to tell me he's not interested in me anymore?'.

“I just don't know how to phrase this...without sounding rude or stupid?” He murmured.

“Just tell me. You're making me nervous.” I admitted. “...did something happen in Ohio?” I whispered, voicing my hinted fear.

“Oh, God, no!” He jumped, “Nothing like that. Baby. No!” Frank insisted, squeezing tighter, followed by a hard kiss to the crown of my head. I sighed in relief.

“Then just tell me...or ask me!” I demanded.

“Okay...well. I've actually been wondering this...” He trailed off for a moment. I waited patiently.

“Since I started falling for you. But like...I guess this is just me being stupid. But I was wondering...how did you fall in love with me...or someone in general being blind. Like I know that sounds completely stupid and mean and-”

“That's what you wanted to ask?” I cut off his rambling, dumbfounded. I could feel Frank tensing and cringe inwardly.

“Yeah?” He confessed, cautiously. I don't know why but I just started laughing at this revelation. Hysterically. That was what Frank was so scared to ask me?! Frank chuckled along nervously, but I just kept giggling so much my stomach ached. I had to pull away and clutch my belly; my laughter wouldn't stop.

“Gerard!” Frank pleaded, “What's the fuck is so funny?”

“Th-that's what y-you where so afraid to ask me?” I managed to get out passed my laughing.

“Well. Yeah! I didn't want you to get mad!” He defended. I sighed, forcing my giggling to ebb.

“Oh, Frankie.” I said, settling back down in his arms, “I'm not mad. Not at all.” I continued, lifting a hand to his cheek to caress it lovingly.

“Really?” Frank pressed, resting his hand over mine. I nodded. “Okay...well can you explain then? If you don't mind...Cause maybe it's just me relying on sight. Cause I don't know anything else. And it's not like I only like you for your looks!” He rushed to explain. It was so hard not to laugh again at how adorable he was being and considerate. “I love you for you're laugh and how funny you are and-

“Frank” I giggled, “I get it. And I don't mind.” I replied calmly, but sighed getting ready to explain myself out loud. “So obviously I can't see. I really have no idea what you look like, and I knew nothing about you're personality when we met. So how did I know I would like you? I guess I'm actually lucky in that sense.” I admitted, fumbling my fingers around in the folds of Frank's shirt, beginning to feel nervous myself. I didn't want to sound dumb. “I have to fall in love with my eyes closed. I'm sure you're beautiful, and believe me. I dream about what you look like every night...But honestly, I guess I fall in love by the way a person makes me feel. Like a chemical reaction.
You know how in science class, they talk about how emotions are only a chemical reaction. People I think feel that, when they meet someone they love. And that's what makes them look so beautiful. Like a poison that spreads through their body on sight. Me...I just feel it. Honestly. When you came up to me at the record store, I felt a jolt run through my body when I heard your voice. My stomach dropped to my toes and my tongue swelled up in my mouth.” I finished, but still fumbling with my fingers.

“So you fall in love with a feeling?” Frank tried to understand.

“Not really. I just feel the attraction blindly. I feel the chemicals kick in.” I tried to form into simplest of terms.

“Like a chemical romance?” He wondered, stroking a thumb over my cheekbone. I smiled softly and nodded. “I like that.” He murmured, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to my lips.

“Me too.” I whispered back, nuzzling my nose to his. “You're my chemical romance.”

“You're mine too. It's our chemical romance.” Frank declared firmly and passionately.

*****

December was cold. December was wet with rain. December was long. But December was special. In the beginning, we all were finishing up our first semester of school, though, before we could enjoy Winter Break. Ray was particularly cheerful too. At first I thought it was just because of the Holidays. Ray was all about family and the Holidays always made him super happy. I mean everyone loves the Holidays, but Ray really loved the Holidays. It was actually the last day of lessons before Winter Break, and that night we were all going out as a family for Matt's birthday dinner. His birthday was the 10th but we all decided it would be easier to pick a day we all had off from school at least. It was only like a week after his birthday anyways which wasn't too bad.

My point is, though, was that I was very fidgety and excited for the night. I loved going out to eat and leave the house. Ray was distracted too so we both weren't getting anywhere fast. Biting into the wood of my pencil, my mind was drifting back to last night and how Frank had slept in my bed...

“Gerard!” Ray hollered, snapping his fingers.

“Huh? What?” I jumped, snapping out of my revere.

“I asked you if I could tell you something...but you have to promise not to tell.” He explained. That was enough to get my attention. Ray never really had secrets. At least none he'd tell me specifically. I nodded vigorously.

“Yes! I'm the best at keeping secrets.” I proclaimed.

“Well. It's not a secrets particularly. I just have to refrain from telling certain people for now.” He tried to defend. I sighed. Ray was always trying to do the right thing. He didn't like secrets.

“Call it whatever you want. Spill!” I demanded. Ray chuckled,

“So. You know how Christa and I have been trying for a baby for awhile now?” He started.

“Yeah.” I nodded. It was true. Ray and his wife had been trying for a baby since I'd started high school. She'd gotten pregnant a few times, but they had all resulted in miscarriages.

“Well she's finally pregnant. We're passed the first trimester so we're in the clear!” He cheered, happiness instantly flooding his voice. More than normal for Ray too, and that's saying a lot.

“That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!” I cried, throwing my arms around Ray. Ray laughed brightly, wrapping his arms around me too.

“Thank you, Gerard.” He said, a beaming grin in his voice.

“Oh! And I got you a Christmas present.” I remembered, pulling out of the hug.

“You didn't have to do that, Gerard.” Ray protested.

“I know. But it's Christmas. And I wanted to thank you for helping me with Frank's birthday present.” I insisted, getting to my feet and moving around the lounge to find the gift. Shuffling to the entertainment center, I squatted down, reaching behind the furniture where I purposely hid it. Feeling my fingers brush the bag, I snatched it and stood up. Crossing the room, I stopped a few feet away from Ray to hold out my hand. Ray's fingers brushed against mine as he took the gift. I stood there timidly, wringing my hands together. I was always extremely nervous when I gave people gifts. Hearing the tissue paper begin removed, I smiled.

“I made you a mixed CD of songs I thought you'd like. Like Iron Maiden and The Misfits.” I explained. “I also got you a gift card to Chili's. I thought you and Christa could go out or something.”

“Oh, Gerard! I love it. This is all so thoughtful. Thank you.” Ray cried, standing up and giving me a side hug.

“I got you something too actually.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Really?!” I exclaimed, feeling a grin spread across my face.

“Mhmm.” He agreed. I could hear movement then, and next thing I knew a bag was being thrust into my hands. Plunging my hand into the bag, I felt around, my fingers coming in contact with a smooth wooden stick and soft hair-like texture.

“I bought you some paintbrushes and oil paints.” Ray informed, “I figured you were running low on art supplies.”

“Aw, thanks, Ray. I love it.” I beamed, “I always appreciate getting art stuff. Mom doesn't like to spend too much on them.”

“I'm glad you like it!” He relieved.

“So what are you doing for the Holidays?” I wondered, once I sat back down.

“The usual. Dinner with mine and Christa's family on Christmas. Probably a party on New Year's with Friends. What about you, Gerard?” Ray said, excitement clear in his voice just at the thought of the Holidays.

“I actually don't know. Probably the same. Just Christmas with family. Presents in the morning. Church on Christmas Eve.” I shrugged.

“You don't sound too excited?” Ray observed. I shrugged again.

“I am. Really. It just sucks that me and Frank can't be around each other like we'd like to.” I explained. Ray hummed in understanding.

“Well, when are you going to tell your parents that you two are dating?” He asked, making me sigh and squirm.

“I dunno. Never.” I laughed bitterly.

“Oh, Gerard. You know you're going to have to tell them eventually.” Ray chastised gently.

“I know, I know.” I agreed, “I guess I'm just scared.”

“That's understandable. But if you and Frank are really serious, you have to be honest with your family.” He reminded. Leave it to Ray to say just what my conscience is thinking and make me feel guilty. I groaned.

“I know. And we will. I suppose we just have to find the right time. And until then we have to keep our relationship a secret.” I explained. Ray hummed again, and I imagined him nodding thoughtfully.

“Just don't take too long.” He offered sympatheticly, resting a hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. I forced myself to smile. “And don't worry too much, though, either. Enjoy the Holidays, Gee.”

“Thanks, Ray. I do appreciate it.” I offered.

“Anytime, Gerard. And if you need to call me for whatever reason over the break don't hesitate.” Ray added, as usual when he leaves for more than a week. “But I think our time is up for the day and for the semester.” He sighed, removing his hand from my shoulder and got to his feet. I stood up too, to help him gather his things.

“Do you want me to do any assignments?” I wondered.

“No.” He said simply, more than likely smiling. “It's the Holidays. Enjoy them.”

“Thanks, Ray.” I smiled, showing my teeth. With that, Ray and I finished cleaning up and I could hear the faint sound of Ray slinging his briefcase over his shoulder.

“Okay. I'm off.” Ray announced, “You have a good break, kiddo.” He insisted, giving me one last hug, before leaving out the door.

“You too!” I hollered, down the hall.

With one last faint chuckle I could hear Ray making, I closed the lunge door, flopping myself down onto the couch. Frank and Matt would be home soon. Sarah would be home even sooner. With this thought I immediately became more than excited for the Break to start. For the Holidays to begin. And myself to, as Ray said, enjoy.
I must have fallen asleep on the couch, however, because the next thing I knew, someone was shaking my shoulder to wake me up. Groaning I mumbled something incoherently.

“Gerard, get up. We're leaving for dinner in less than an hour!” Sarah demanded.

“Wha? What time is it?” I croaked.

“Five.” She answered shortly. Sitting up, I ran my fingers through my now knotted hair.

“How long have I been asleep?” I wondered.

“I don't know. You were asleep when I got home an three. For awhile.” She said, sitting beside me on the couch.

“Well, why didn't anyone wake me?” I cried harshly.

“Because, you obviously were tired, Gee. Don't worry. We have plenty of time for you to get ready.” Sarah assured. Helping me to my feet, she then guided me to my room, to help me get ready.

“Where's Frank?” I wondered, as we entered my room.

“I dunno. Getting ready.” She brushed off.

“Well, why didn't he wake me?” I pouted.

“So many questions.” Sarah sighed, “I don't know. We wanted to let you sleep.”

“Fine.” I grumbled, shooing Sarah out. I could get ready myself. Once I heard the door close behind herself, I proceeded in getting ready. Changing, brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, deodorant, cologne. It all but took twenty minutes moving between my room and the bathroom. When I was done, I had probably another forty minutes on my hands.

Putting in a Penecy Prep CD, I got out my new paint supplies from Ray, and sat on my floor. Painting always calmed me down. I obviously couldn't see what I was painting, but the act in itself was relaxing. Moving the brush along canvas, dipping it in paint, hearing the strokes move around. The feeling of the wooden brush in between my fingertips. Breathing became easy. I got a fogy image in my mind, or something even made up and tried to put it down on physical paper, canvas, whatever I could get my hands on.

Getting so lost, in my action, I didn't hear Frank come in my room and close the door, so when I felt someone sit down beside me, it made me jump and swipe the brush across the canvas violently. It most likely fucked up whatever I was making, causing me to sigh heavily.

“Sorry.” Frank muttered, “I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you would hear me come in.” He tried to apologize.

“It's not your fault. I was just so engrossed I wasn't even paying attention.” I murmured under my breath. Frank landed a hesitant hand onto my shoulder.

“It looks nice still. Honest.” Frank offered sweetly. I smiled gently.

“Thanks.” I said, setting my paintbrush down on a paper plate I set aside.

“I finished getting ready. I thought I'd come see you. See what you were up to” He explained.

“Just painting.” I gestured to the canvas and paint blindly. “Obviously.”

“Well do you want to take a break? We only have like fifteen minutes until we have to leave.” Frank wondered. I nodded, then stood up. Frank helped me clean up in silence, Trying to Escape the Inevitable playing quietly in the background. After we were done, Frank lied himself down on my bed, pulling me on top of him. Giggling, I was more than happy to snuggle into his chest.

“How were finals.” I asked softly into the fabric of his sweater.

“They sucked ass. But I passed all my classes. So that's good I guess.” He muttered in reply, brushing hair out of my face. “How were lessons with Ray?”

“Good.” I shrugged, “He got me paint supplies for a Christmas gift. I gave him that mixed CD I made and that gift card.”

“Did he like them?” He wondered. I nodded my head against his clothes.

“You know I already know what I'm giving you for Christmas.” Frank hinted playfully, after a calm moment.

“Really? What is it?” I squealed. Frank chuckled.

“I'm not telling! That's why it's a gift!” He pointed out, but I pouted in reply, jutting my lower lip out. Frank only laughed louder.

“You're adorable.” He cooed, pecking my lips, while I was still had my lip out. Pulling back from the sloppiness, we both merely giggled. While in our giggling fit, I heard the bedroom door creak open. Frank tensed, then shuffled away from me.

“It's time to go.” Mom announced, sounding less than thrilled.

“Okay.” Frank and I answered simultaneously. The door creaked back closed, and Frank and I climbed off the bed with a sigh. I was excited for going out. But then again, I had a feeling family dinners just weren't going to be our thing.

❤❤ ❤ Frank❤❤❤

When Gerard's Mom came through his door, I tried with my best reflexes to move away from Gerard. It's not like we were doing anything incriminating, but I figured I shouldn't test Susan. Seeing her face too, she didn't seem to be in a good mood. Gerard seemed confused for a second, but at the sound of Susan's voice I think he understood why I moved. I would have liked nothing more than to just stay in Gee's bed and kiss and cuddle him. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option.

Being December in New Jersey, it was fucking cold. All six of us were bundled. Gerard was still shivering though, in his sweater and coat, scarf, jeans, gloves, and beanie. It took all of my will power not to just go and hug him to keep him warm. Quickly we all made out way into Susan's van, however, while she cranked the heat. The ride to the restaurant wasn't long, but it was long enough, with Matt whining the whole way about 'why couldn't Mary come to dinner with us?' and Susan scolding him, 'because this is a family dinner, Matthew, not for girlfriend's.' Silently I laughed to myself. Poor bastard. Too bad his girlfriend wasn't apart of the family like Gee and me. Wow. Okay, that's creepy as fuck and sounds wrong on so many levels. You get it though. We're not blood. Anyways... Only I could make myself feel awkward in my own mind.

Lost in my reverie of some White Strip shit situation, I didn't even notice us pull up to the restaurant, until the car engine cut off. Outside it was already dark. I'm always reminding myself, that that kind of thing doesn't matter for Gerard. I always want to help him, thinking for some dumb reason he needs more help when it's dark out. Then I mentally slap myself, in realizing how stupid that is. Brushing off my ridiculous mind chatter, I climb out the van, trying my best not to hold Gerard's hand or put my hand on his back or anything that might give us away. The closer and closer we become, the harder and harder it gets for me to stay away from him in public. Susan and Dad are leading the way, so I take a chance and slip my hand in his. Gee looks to his left, where I stand and smiles. I smile back even though I know he can't see and give him a squeeze of the hand. Sarah and Matt are in front of us, so I figure we're safe for a moment. I would give him a kiss but that would be pushing it....

“Table for six?” The hostess asks, once we all pile into the warm Italian restaurant. Sighing softly under my breath, I give Gee's hand one last squeeze then let go.

“Yes. We have a reservation under the name Iero.” Dad informs. The young hostess nods, checking her booklet, then leading us to a big round table. Taking our appropriate seats; Dad by Susan, Susan by Sarah, Sarah by Gerard, Gerard by me, me by Matt and Matt by Dad we make a full circle. The hostess leaves saying our waitress would be there soon in a few minutes.

“Oh, I'm starving!” Matt sighed, lifting his menu and began to look it over.

“Me too.” Sarah commented, “I think I'm going to get the spaghetti.”

“You'll have to give me a taste.” Susan said, looking over her menu as well.

“Hey, Gee?” I whispered, leaning in to him, “Do you need any help finding what you want?”

“Yeah. Please.” He whispered back, casting me a smile that made my stomach drop and feel warm and tight. While reading off the items on the menu to Gee, our waitress had come to our table, first introducing herself as Sharon, then asking what we wanted to drink. I ordered a coke and Gerard ordered a diet coke. Him and his diet coke.

“Diet coke. Nice choice.” 'Sharon', laughed. Squinting my eyes, I glared at her, sizing her up. Gerard was wearing his sunglasses no matter how much I had begged him not to. He didn't wear them around the house really, anymore, but being in public was a different thing. So she had to put together he was blind as his sense of direction in which he was talking to her, was off. Or she was just a dumb bitch. Either way, I knew it didn't matter what she looked like.

Nonetheless I could help but pick her apart. She looked like she was around our age, probably in high school. She was a tiny, blonde, blue eyed chick with a nose ring. She wasn't ugly. But I wanted to either fucking punch her or make out with Gerard in front of her to let her know to back off. Sadly I couldn't do either. Once she left, I huffed out an irritated exhalation. Gerard was just about to turn back to me, when Susan cleared her throat.

“Well, well, well. Gerard I think she was flirting with you.” She chuckled, making Gerard blush and my teeth clench.

“No she wasn't. She was just being polite.” He insisted, subtly reaching under the table to grab my hand. Instantly I felt better. I knew Gee loved me. I was just being ridiculous and jealous.

“You should get her number.” Susan pushed.

“No!” Gerard demanded, “I don't want to.”

“Alright.” Susan drawled out in a teasing manner. If Susan didn't drop it though, I might just do something stupid.

Thankfully she did and I continued reading Gee the menu. He decided on the chicken Parmesan, while I chose the eggplant Parmesan. Not but a few minutes later, Sharon came back with our drinks. To my distaste I couldn't help but notice her brush her arms against Gerard's as she placed the drink on his coaster. Not only brush but linger. If she didn't literately back off I was going to fucking break that arm. Once that ordeal was over, she took our dinner orders. And of course Chicken Parmesan was her favorite. Bitch. After leaving on her merry way, I took a long sip of my coke. By then I wished it was rum and coke. Matt thankfully redirected the conversation to football and Mary. Then Sarah about her classes. Then back to Matt about Mary.

“What about you Frank?” Susan suddenly asked when Matt took a pause to take a drink.

“What?” I asked, not completely knowing what she was asking me.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” She restated. I smirked.

“I'm gay.” I replied bluntly. Ever since I told Dad about my sexuality, I wasn't one to hide it.

“I told you that.” Dad pointed out, nudging Susan's arm with his elbow.

“Oh that's right!” She exclaimed, “I'm so sorry. It must have slipped my mind.” Yeah, I'm sure it did, 'just slip your mind.' “Well do you have a boyfriend, then?” Gerard's hand still in mine, under the table, ran his thumb over my knuckles.

“Not at the moment.” I lied calmly.

“No one?” She pressed. God I swear she was so fucking suspicious of me and Gee. I felt my heart accelerate. Why did she even care?

“Nope.” I shortly replied. Susan nodded, seemingly unconvinced but moved on, anyhow.

“Oh, that's too bad.” Susan commented sympatheticly. I shrugged.

“I don't mind.”

“Hmm. Well, what about you Gee?” She asked, redirecting the conversation once again.

“No.” He muttered, his head resting in his free hand.

“What ever happened to that girl at the mall?” She pressed. Oh, God. It was a fucking miracle I didn't actually snigger out loud. That 'girl' has now in fact made out with, jerked/sucked off, and fingered your son, Susan. Hell, maybe even be given his virginity one day. If only you knew what I've done to your precious child with my mouth, tongue, and fingers. If only I could tell her that; I'm sure her face would be priceless. But no, I miraculously kept a straight face. Gerard squirmed in his seat, his hand sweaty already. Now that, I found no humor in seeing my boyfriend squirm when it wasn't me doing it to him in a bed...God, I really am a horn dog...

“I never called her.” He finally chocked out.

“Why not?” Susan exclaimed, like Gerard had just said he shot a puppy.

“I didn't like her.” He shrugged.

“You never even gave her a shot!” She pressed. That was the only time, I was glad to see Sharon coming to our table with our food. Handing out our plates of food, Susan dropped the subject. Another waiter was there to help Sharon since there was six of us. He was tall, muscly, tattoos and gauges. In another life I would have thought he was hot, but I just didn't see people in that way anymore since Gerard. And that was saying a lot. After we got our food, they left, gratefully Sharon didn't really make any sort of other move towards Gerard.

“I'd let you try my food,” Gerard started, “But you don't like meat. And besides that we practically have the same thing.”

“True. Do you want to try mine though?” I chuckled.

“Yeah, sure” Gerard nodded. Twirling some pasta and eggplant onto my fork, I held it out for Gerard, as he carefully leaned for ward for the food. Helping him, I sort of guided his head. I could feel Susan's judging eyes on me, as my eyes flickered across the table, meeting hers. Instantly she looked away though.

“Since you didn't like the mall girl, you should give this waitress a shot, huh?” Susan began, making Gee groan.

“Mom!” Sarah shouted in frustration. “Leave Gee alone. Isn't it my turn to be grilled on whether or not I have a boyfriend? Well I don't. Thanks for asking.”

“Sarah.” Susan chastised, “Don't be like that.” Sarah glared at her Mom, but we all dropped the topic completely and dug into our food, the sound of silverware clattering and mouth chewing filling our vicinity. Gerard still had his hand in mine, but let go, to help himself eat. Reluctantly I let go too, placing my hand on my leg.

“Actually,” Dad said, before swallowing a mouth of steak, “Susan and I have something to tell you kids.”

“Are you pregnant?” Matt yelled. I sniggered under my breath, Gerard elbowing me subtlety.

“No!” Susan gasped

“No, no. Not that.” Dad rushed to clarify. “It's about Christmas.”

“What about Christmas?” I wondered slowly.

“Well, we decided that it would be fun to go up North.” Susan started, “Spend the Holidays in a cabin together as a family.”

“But we're not a family.” I pointed out dryly.

“Frank!” Dad shouted, “Do not talk like that to Susan. And yes, as much as you may not want to admit it we are a family now.”

“What about the rest of the family? Grandparents and aunts and uncles?” Gerard murmured hesitantly and shy.

“Well...honey. It's just one Christmas.” Susan offered gently. Gerard twisted his face up, but sighed and bowed his head in disappointment.

“Actually. I can't even go.” I shrugged, nonchalantly.

“And why not?” Dad warned, obviously getting upset.

“Because! Dad, I have a gig on the 23rd. But I guess you forgot, no matter how many times I've told you.” I spit back.

“Sorry, but that's no reason to miss out on Christmas with your family.” He countered

“Actually. It is.” I threw back sarcastically, “This gig could be a huge break. A manager is going to be there to check us out!”

“Reschedule it.”

“I fucking can't! It doesn't work that way!” I roared.

“Make it work that way!” Dad rose his voice threateningly.

“No! Fuck you. I'm eighteen. I'm not fucking going!” I demanded.

“Please!” Susan cut in, casting her eyes on Gerard. Both Dad and I flickered our eyes as well to him. Gerard had his hands over his ears and a grimace on his face. Fuck. Shit. The last thing I wanted was to upset Gee. It was just so fucking hard not to get in a fight, especially with my father in the room. Dad and I sighed heavily.

“We will talk about this later.” Dad warned

“Fine. But there's nothing to talk about. I'm not going.” I shrugged. Dad threw a glare at me in warning, but said nothing.

Awkwardly we all finished our food. Sarah carefully rested a hand on Gee's arm to pull them away from his ears. He let go begrudgingly but did nonetheless. When we were done eating, we did get Matte a desert and all the waitresses and waiters sang him happy birthday to his great humiliation. It was pretty funny actually. Sarah, Gerard, and I shared a cheesecake, while Matt ate his own ice cream and cookie. That helped ease the tension for the car ride home. Sharon didn't bother to make another move either; I hope it was because of all the death glares I was sending her. Either way I didn't care, I was just glad to be home and away from her and my Dad altogether.

That night, after everyone had gone to bed, I snuck my way into Gerard room. I was aching by then just to hold him after the restaurant drama. He was lying on his back, eyes open as I opened the bedroom door softly.

“Gee?” I whispered into the dark room.

“Yeah. Come in.” He answered, already knowing it was me by my voice. Not needing anymore confirmation, I gently closed the door behind me, and climbed into his bed. Pulling him tenderly into my arms, I nuzzled my face into his neck causing him to giggle.

“God, I love you.” I sighed.

“I love you too.” Gee murmured back. Leaning down, I found his lips in the dark, molding mine to his. Gee melted into the kiss and ran his fingers through my hair, while I cupped his face in my hands. Not letting go, I ran my tongue over his lips and he let me in to deepen the kiss. That. That's just what I had been waiting to do all day and night. Pulling away sooner than I liked, Gee ran soft fingers over my cheeks.

“I don't want to spend another week without you. Two weeks at that.” He pouted, referring to winter break, while he and his family and Dad would spend at some Godforsaken cabin. I sighed.

“I don't want to either. Believe me I don't. Spending one day not seeing you is awful enough. But baby. I have to stay for that gig.” I tried to explain as gently as I could. Gerard nodded slowly but said nothing and rested his head on my chest, only making me feel more guilty. I'd rather he get mad at me. But Gerard never gets mad.

“Baby. I love you. So, so much.” I murmured into his soft raven hair.

“I love you too. You know that.” He muttered into my tee-shirt. We were silent for a moment, our breathing the only sound in the room. I rubbed my hands over Gerard's arms lightly, hoping to convey just how much I truly loved him.

“Maybe I could stay with you...” Gee hummed.

“Gerard, I would love that more than anything. Just you and me. But I don't think your Mom will go for that...” I tried to point out, careful not to upset him.

“What if I pretended to get sick, like the day before we left. And you could offer to take care of me so they don't have to miss out.” He tried, making me chuckle.

“Sounds like you've been thinking about this.” I teased. I could feel his cheek warm up on my arm.

“I can't help it. I don't want leave without you.” He said his voice so small. I tightened my arms around his waist.

“I don't either.” I started, kissing his forehead, “But lets just think about this later. I'm not saying we won't think of something. We will. I promise.”

“Alright.” Gee sighed, snuggling closer to me, making me smile. Nothing in the whole world could ever make me more happy than to fall asleep with my baby, my Gee, in my arms. Now that bitch Sharon, didn't get to do that, now did she?

Notes

I'm not sure how satisfied I am with this chapter...But anyways. Do you ever wonder about when you get famous and like what if someone finds this fanfic you're writing and link it back to you? Will people freak out that you wrote Frerard fan fiction? Will Gerard Way and Frank Iero think differently about you? Will it ruin your writing career? Will the world crumble and end just because you wrote Frerard fan fiction!? No? Just me? Okay. I think about weird stuff like this all the time....Anyways. I hope you liked the chapter. It was fun to write. Comment if you'd like. Oh and if you want to follow me on Tumblr my url is smut-slutt...Or maybe I shouldn't give that out...Just another way for you guys to link me back when I get famous....