Just Think Happy Thoughts

I woke up the next morning on Aden's chest. Somehow we wound up on one couch together, while Jade was on the other. It didn't matter much to me anyway. I went to get up but a hand tugged me back, causing me to fall back on top of Aden.

"Aden what the..." I said, turning to face him. I was caught by the seductive look he was giving me. With my face going red, I turned to look away, already knowing what was next.

"Good morning beautiful! Merry Christmas!" he exclaimed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Screw Christmas" I muttered. I pulled away from him and got up, walking towards the kitchen. Aden followed behind me.

“But Kai! It’s supposed to be merry!” he said, coming up from behind me a poking me in the ribs.

“Aden! Stop that tickles!” I said through my laughter. I fought his hands off of me.

“Hey at least I got you to laugh” he smiled and stuck out his tongue.

“I’ll give you that” I said smiling back.

I went over to the coffee pot and turned it on. The smell of coffee was depressing. It reminded me of THEM too much. They loved coffee. And I hated them. At least I wanted to hate them. Especially Frank. But I couldn’t. I sighed deeply as the coffee finished brewing.

“What now?” Aden asked, coming over and putting his arm around my shoulder. He squeezed me to his side. I shook my head not wanting to say anything. I knew it would just make me more upset.

“Mmmm, is that coffee?” Jade yawned as she walked in from the living room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looked over at us standing by the coffee pot. “Oh I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” Her tone of voice changed from sleepy to a more bitter one.

“Uh.. what? Is something wrong Jade?” I asked. I could tell she was miffed about something.

“Huh? Oh. No! Of course not! It’s Christmas! Merry Christmas guys! Where’s the food!? I want bacon!” she exclaimed. She walked over to the fridge and opened it, searching for the bacon and pulling it out when she finally found it. “Come on Aden! You’re helping me make breakfast! Get the eggs!” I was a bit baffled because I was sure Jade was pissed off two seconds ago.

“What? Wait a minute! Why me!?” Aden asked as Jade pulled him over to the other side of the kitchen near the stove.

“Well, why not!? You don’t want to cook with me? Anyway Kai’s, well you know” she said, trying to whisper the last part but I could still hear it.

“Guys I can help” I assured them. I walked in their direction but I was met with Jade’s hands pushing me back.

“No no no! Get your coffee and go put on a Christmas movie or something” Jade demanded. I sighed in defeat and walked back over to the coffee machine, pouring myself a cup and fixing it to my liking. “Oh and do you have pancake mix?”

“I think there’s some up in that cabinet” I replied, pointing to a cabinet above the fridge.

“I got it” Aden moaned and walked over to the cabinet to grab it. Before he went back he came up to me and put a hand on my head. “Go relax beautiful. Me and Jade got this breakfast under control.”

“Oh Christ. Come on Aden!” Jade demanded, spatula in hand.

“That is, if she doesn’t kill me first” Aden said, making me smile slightly. Then he returned to his place at the stove by Jade.

I grabbed my coffee and made my way into the living room. I wasn’t sure if I trusted those two in the kitchen alone but I had to because I didn’t really have a choice if stubborn Jade wanted it that way. I turned on the television to find a movie.

“A Christmas movie she says…” I whispered to myself. I didn’t know if I was up for a merry movie. Besides that, all of the Christmas movies on television didn’t seem too interesting and half of them were A Christmas Story and I was so sick of watching that movie since I practically watched it every other Christmas. I sighed and turned off the tv. I thought maybe I could look through the DVDs in the basement so I got up off the couch but before I could make it to the basement door something caught my eye sitting on the shelf under the DVD player. I walked over and bent down to pick up the DVD on the shelf. I dropped to my knees and let out a deep sigh, again. It was The Nightmare Before Christmas. I knew it was Frank’s because I didn’t own it on DVD. He must have left it at my house the last time we watched it. We had watched it a countless amount of times together. I decided, against my better judgement, to put the movie on. I knew it wouldn’t help me, at all, but my heart ached so much to be with Frank in that moment. Watching the movie, I hoped, would make me feel a little bit closer to him. It didn’t. Movies usually didn’t make me cry, and The Nightmare Before Christmas never made me cry before, but that time around the end of the movie had me in tears. I wished immensely, that Frank and I could have something like that. I wished we could be like Jack and Sally. And that’s when I realized it. All that time I had known Frank I knew I liked him, a lot. Even from the first day I met him I felt we had formed this deep connection. But I was sure it was just some stupid infatuation that would go away. It never came across me that I was actually falling in love with Frank the whole time up until then. And by then I was already in love with him. I was in love with Frank Iero.

Aden came in just as the movie was ending and started rambling something about breakfast but I zoned out completely to what he was saying because all I could think about was my recent realization. I couldn’t be in love with Frank, not after what he did to me. But I was and that’s why it hurt even more.

“Kairi come on! Breakfast!!!” Jade shouted from the kitchen. I snapped out of it but I couldn’t move.

“Kai, did you hear a word I said? Wait a minute… are you okay?” Aden asked, taking a seat next to me and pulling me into a hug.

“I don’t know” I replied. I knew I wasn’t but I don’t know sounded a lot better.

“You were crying again” he stated, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

“It was the movie” I replied. It was half true.

“The Nightmare Before Christmas? That’s cute. But I don’t buy it” he said. He stood up and pulled me up from the couch. “Come on. Maybe breakfast will make you feel better. There’s bacon!”

I followed him into the kitchen and what I saw next didn’t really surprise me.

“There’s flour… everywhere. You guys get into a fight?” I asked, meaning for the question to be rhetorical because I already knew the answer. I sat down at the table where a plate was already made for me, my name spelled out on the plate with bacon. ‘KAI’.

“Well, Aden here burned the first batch of pancakes and…”

“ME? It was you Jade!” Aden interrupted. “And then she threw flour at me because of it!”

“Aden that’s not how it happened!” Jade protested. They continued to argue for a bit. I sat there and ate quietly, still thinking about Frank and Jack and Sally. When they finally quieted down I looked up from my plate.

“Kai I’m sorry. This is stupid. Why are we arguing. It’s Christmas. I meant to ask you if you were alright. I heard you and Aden talking in the living room” Jade explained. I sighed and rubbed my temples at the frustrating question. Are you okay wasn’t a good question to ask me. It did the complete opposite of what people actually thought it might do, help me. No, it made things worse. It made me think more about what I wanted to stop thinking about.

“I’ll be right back” I said and got up from the table. I walked upstairs to my room. I grabbed my bottle of pills of my dresser, wanting to take some. I paced back and forth wondering if it was a good idea. I didn’t want to feel nothing, even if it meant I had to feel like shit. If I took the pills I wouldn’t care about anything. I’d be an emotionless zombie. I put the pills back down on my dresser, deciding against it. I laid down on my bed with a sigh. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Jade and Aden entered my room a few seconds later.

“Sorry Kai. We’ll clean your kitchen. And we won’t argue anymore” Aden assured me. He plopped down on the bed next to me.

“You wanna open your presents? Will that make you feel better?” Jade asked me. I shook my head.

“You mean you guys actually got me presents too? You know it was a good enough gift that you even came here” I told them.

“Ha. I told you she’d say that Jade. But yeah, we got presents for you!” he exclaimed, trying to tickle me again. I felt like Aden’s main goal in life, aside from flirting with almost every girl, was trying to get me to smile and most of the time he actually succeeded.

“Well I feel awful because I didn’t get you guys anything” I admitted. Truthfully, I thought I wouldn’t see them but I was planning to get them something later on and mail it to them.

“All we need is you!” Aden said in a singsong voice. It made me giggle and for a split second I was okay.

“Okay so present time!” Jade declared. We all went downstairs by the Christmas tree and I opened my presents from them while they opened there’s from each other. Jade got me a white scarf with a sheet music design on it and Aden got me a bracelet with musical charms on it. I loved both presents and couldn’t wait to wear them.

After the presents Jade and Aden decided it was time to go clean the kitchen. I would have helped but they wouldn’t let me so I went upstairs to change my clothes and I put on the scarf and the bracelet, admiring my new accessories in the mirror. I headed back downstairs to see how the kitchen was coming along when I heard a knock at the door that stopped me dead in my tracks. I went over to the door hesitant to ask who it was so I looked through the peephole instead. My heart leapt out of my chest as I met a familiar pair of hazel eyes. I dropped to the floor and waited for the knocking to stop. Once it was over I got up and looked out the peephole again. No one was there. I opened the door wishing I had opened it two minutes before. I looked down the street but no one was there. He was already gone. There was a present with a note attached sitting on my doorstep. I picked it up and closed the door, going upstairs to my room and sitting on my bed. The note read:

Dear Kai,
We miss you. I miss you. I don’t know what happened and I wish you would just talk to me. It just feels like, sort of like I can’t breath? I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel right without you. I stopped singing. Well, I made an exception for you. Open the present. I hope our worlds collide again some day. xofrnk

I opened the present and inside was a CD case with a single CD inside. I went over to my laptop and put the CD in the disc drive and pressed play. I’m certain my heart stopped for a second when I realized what it was. There was one song on the CD. It was a cover of the last song my father had ever played before he died, a cover by Frank Iero.

Notes

I am so so so so sorry you guys had to wait a whole month, I nearly died writing this so I REALLY hope you enjoy it. Oh and happy belated Easter! Hope you had a great holiday :D -Cici