Just Think Happy Thoughts

The lunch bell rang and I dashed from the table making my way out of the cafeteria. I could feel someone's presence behind me and all of a sudden a hand grasped my arm. I turned around to see Frank, a concerned look on his face.

"Yes Frank? May I help you?" I asked him sarcastically, wanting to get as far away as possible from him and this place.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that. You just took off. Is everything okay?" he asked me, grabbing my other arm with his free hand.

"Everything's great Frank. My life is perfect. Nothing to worry about" I muttered. I pulled away from his grasp and turned to walk again, Frank coming up by my side and walking with me.

"You know, that didn't sound very convincing. You can talk to me Kai" Frank assured me with a smile. I couldn't smile back.

"No. I already tried that remember? And then you got the oh so important call from Jamia. Come on, we'll be late" I said, now walking faster, Frank next to me trying to keep up.

"Hey Kai I didn't mean to-" he started but stopped when he noticed I stopped walking. "Kai? You alright?" The truth was, I wasn't, but I couldn't possibly tell him that. I had just gotten a glimpse of Matt walking into the classroom and all the fear from that Halloween night came rushing back to me. When I tried to speak to Frank, I couldn't because it felt like something was caught in my throat. I could feel my body start to tremble and my breath becoming short. I knew I had to get out of there.

"I-I have to go. I suddenly don't feel well" I stammered and then ran off to the one place I thought I'd be safe for now. I could hear Frank calling after me but I ignored it and continued on. I walked into the girls restroom and went to the sink to splash some water on my face. I looked up to see a girl in the mirror, her face permeated with fear. “C’mon Kai, suck it up.” I took deep breaths to try and calm myself, but I realized it wasn’t working when my hands started to sweat and I began to feel nauseous. With shaky hands I opened the outside zipper of my backpack and took out the bottle of pills my mom gave me earlier. I opened it and took one out, placing the rest of them beside the faucet. I stared at it, not wanting to have to take it, but knowing I should. “Now or never.” I cupped some water from the faucet in my hand and swallowed the pill with one gulp. I leaned my body forward against the sink and braced myself for another half hour of this feeling, trying to think of better thoughts to calm myself until the medicine kicked in. I was unaware of the shadowy figure moving towards me.

“Kairi?” a familiar sounding voice said. I recognized it but at the same time I had no idea who it was. I was even more freaked out now that someone was there because I’d rather no one see me in the state I was in. “Kairi, are you okay?” I really didn’t want to look up, but I did anyway to see who it was. The next think I saw had me even more shaken.

“I’m fine Jamia. Leave me alone!” I snapped, my body trembling even more, this time with anger.

“You don’t look fine to me. You’re shaking” she said as she moved closer.

“I’m fine!” I snapped again, turning away from her.

“Really? Then what are those pills for? Are you sick?” she asked pointing to the bottle next to the sink.

“What?” I said, looking over to where she was pointing and seeing the pills I forgot I left near the sink. I hastily grabbed them from the sink, but wound up knocking them over spilling them into the drain. “Shit.”

“Do you need help?” Jamia asked me, coming over to the sink and reaching for the bottle.

“No!” I cried, snatching the bottle before she could grab it and stuffing it back into my backpack. I started to walk towards to the door when I felt her pull me back.

“Kairi you don’t look so good. Let me take you to the nurse” she said, pulling me along. I snatched my arm away from her.

“I don’t need your help. I’m fine. I need to go to class” I argued, storming off down the hallway. As I approached the classroom door, I took a deep breath. I turned the knob and opened the door slowly, walking in toward my seat. To my surprise the teacher said nothing about my lateness.

“Don’t worry I covered for you” Frank whispered to me from his seat next to me.

“Thanks” I whispered back but then was caught of guard by a haunting face smiling at me from the next seat over. There was Matt, smiling and waving like nothing ever happened. I stared in disbelief. My eyes were wide and full of angst. I was stuck like that, staring, replaying memories, and just going completely mad on the inside, not realizing I was trembling even more on the outside. I was stuck in a black hole of doom, until I felt a hand grasp mine.

“Kai, you’re freaking me out. Snap out of it. What’s going on?” Frank said, still trying to stay quiet as to not draw attention from anyone else. He looked at what I seemed to be staring at but then looked back at me confused. “What is it?” By that time Matt had his head in his notebook and paid no attention to what was going on. Frank didn’t suspect him at all.

“Nothing, it’s nothing I’m just thinking” I said. There was no way I wanted to talk to Frank about it in class, or ever. All of a sudden I felt a wave of relief wash over me and I sank into my seat, taking my hand back from Frank. I knew it was the medication finally kicking in. Through the rest of the class, which was only about another ten minutes, I could feel Frank’s eyes on me the whole time, but I ignored them. Matt took the occasional glance at me too, but I ignored it. He wasn’t getting to me, not now. When the bell rang I got up and rushed out without a word.

“Kai wait up! Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” Frank asked, walking next to me.

“Nope” is all I said and then I walked off to my next class, leaving Frank with his curiosity. I was calm, I was finally okay and I didn’t want to talk about anything. I didn’t care anymore, not about a single thing.

Notes

I'm so sorry this took so long! Been having some Kai issues. Hope you guys understand :)