Just Think Happy Thoughts

The next day I woke up shaking with the worst anxiety I had felt in a while. I decided it was best if I took my meds to get through the day. The only problem with that was I couldn't remember where I last had them. If I could just remember the last time I took them it might give me a clue as to where they were. I got out of my bed and headed towards the bathroom to look through the medicine cabinet. Nothing. It dawned upon me that I hadn't actually taken them since the flight. That was two months ago. I was medication free for two months and I was able to get through it. I thought that maybe if I could make it that long I would be okay, but just in case I had to get my medication. I walked downstairs to find my mom and Jake eating breakfast at the kitchen table.

"Mom, have you seen my medication?" I asked her as I sat down to join them. I took some pancakes onto a plate and soaked them in syrup.

"I was wondering when you would ask for them. They're in my room I can go get them for you" she said. She went to get up but I stopped her.

"It's okay just give them to me before I leave" I told her.

"It's been a while since you took them. So I take it things are going well here then?" she asked me. I shook my head yes, unable to speak with a mouthful of food. "But then what's happened recently?"

"Oh, here we go again. What's making you crazy this time?" Jake butted in. A wave of anger washed over me and I shot a death glare towards Jake. Before my mom could come to my defense I got up from the table and began to walk away.

"Just. Never mind mom" I called as I walked back upstairs to my room to get ready. I put on my usual get up. As long as it was black and tight, I was wearing it. I never really bothered with my hair so I skipped right to my make up and then brushing my teeth, trying to get through it quickly as time was ticking and I needed to head to school soon. Finally ready, I grabbed my backpack and pulled on my black combat boots and ran down the stairs. I grabbed my coat from the coat rack by the door and threw it on. I walked out the front door and to the car where my mom was waiting to take me to school. Usually I walked with the guys but I was running late and anyway, I didn't think I was quite ready for Frank in the state I was in. In less than five minutes, we arrived at the school. I was a bit more shaken up being in close proximity to my biggest fear at that moment: Matt.

"Kairi, dear. Before you go" my mom said as I stepped out of the car. I turned around to see her arm stretched out towards me and in her hand a bottle of pills. "Just in case."

"Thank you mom" I said with a smile and took the bottle from her, putting it into my backpack.

"I'm sorry about what Jake said earlier. I'm sure he didn't mean it like that" she said, sending an apologetic look my way.

"Sure he did mom. I'll see ya later" I said. I walked towards the school not sure if I was ready for what the day would bring me. I took a deep breath and tried to let all my negative thoughts go. Before I knew it, it was lunch time. I managed to avoid Matt all day but that didn't matter because next period he was in my class. But first, I would have to see Frank and hopefully not want to kill him.

"Hey Kai! Lookin good!" Gerard said, winking at me.

"Oh heeeeey" Mikey said, also winking. I sat down at the table with a puzzled look on my face. I placed my lunch bag on the table in front of me and took out a water, taking a sip.

"Guys. I always look like this. Actually, I probably look worse today since I was in a time crunch this morning" I explained. They didn't regularly greet me this way. "Hey where's Frank?" They looked at me with disgruntled faces.

"Frank is..." Gerard trailed off pointing in the direction of the lunch line. I looked over to see Frank standing on the line, but he wasn't alone. My face grimaced as I realized the person he was with was Jamia.

"Wow. I might barf. Well can't get any worse right?" I said, trying to stay positive. They stared at me with the same disgruntled faces. "What?"

"Actually..." Mikey began. He ran a hand nervously through his hair.

"Jamiaisgonnasitwithus" Gerard blurted. I cocked my head to the side. All I got out of that was Jamia, which means it couldn't be good anyway.

"In English please" I said. I was afraid of what I might hear next.

"Jamia is gonna sit with us" Mikey repeated, clearly enough so that I could understand. With that news I began to choke on the water that I was drinking.

"You guys can't be serious? You would allow this?" I asked them, wondering what could have happened for things to end up like this.

"Well when Jamia came over yesterday, she apologized to us and she was actually really nice, maybe too nice" Mikey explained.

"And don't forget she brought us Starbucks" Gerard added. As he said that I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I must have given him a look that could kill because his face was full of fear and he gulped down hard.

"Yeah! She even brought us some coffee grinds! The good kind! Aw man I wish I had-" Before Mikey could finish he was nudged hard in the ribs by Gerard. They both fell silent and looked away.

"I can't believe this" I said, disappointed once again. My feelings of anxiety were replaced with anger for the time being. It sounded like Jamia was bribing them back into a friendship and they were totally falling for it. Before I could calm myself, a voice called out.

"Hey guys! Hey Kai! Where were you yesterday? Well anyway did you hear? Jamia is gonna be joining our table!" Frankie exclaimed. "OH you guys haven't met. Kai this is Jamia. Jamia, this is Kairi." I reluctantly stuck my hand out to shake hers.

"Well it's nice to meet you Kairi" Jamia beamed, accepting my hand. She seemed way too happy and I wanted to punch her.

"Same" I said, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Now that that's out of the way, Jamia you can sit here" Frank insisted, pointing at the spot to my left. That would only mean that Jamia would be sitting between me and Frank, since Frank usually sat on the left side of me. That was the last place I wanted her to sit.

"Uhh, well there's no room there" I said, trying to take up more space than I usually do.

"Make room!" Frank shouted enthusiastically. "Look there's a nice space between you and Gee. Just move closer to him. You're tiny, Kai." I hesitantly scooted closer to Gerard. "See, now there's room."

I ate my lunch mostly in silence, with an occasional sarcastic remark. I couldn't fight what was happening. Jamia was sitting next to me. She was part of our group now and there wasn't much I could do. They were all giving her a second chance and I had no choice but to accept it. I had to accept that this girl was going to get between me and Frank, literally. And if I thought things couldn't get worse, I was forgetting about next period.

Notes

Not sure how I'm feeling about this story. Let me know what you guys think!