We'll dance again

“Frank Iero.”
I walk into the front of the hall. Sitting before me is Adrienne and some middle aged women who were going to decide whether I’d get to be a dude or not.
“Begin,” Adrienne says, pen poised above her score sheet. I start with my solo movements, conscious of my control and my flow. After my final arabesque a small thin woman joins me as I prove myself capable of being a guy partner. We work against each other and with each other in a series of movements ending with a fish dive. It takes all my strength to not drop her on her face and all my will not to show that.
“Thank you very much Frank,” Adrienne says scribbling something. I let my partner stand. “We’ll be in touch.”
And that’s it. I walk from the room, past the crowd of nervous girls and into the car park. My mom is in Walmart so I decide to go find her. The adrenaline of the try outs kept me awake but now that I have no real reason to be awake, my body decides it wants a nap. I find my mom’s car in the parking lot and lie down on the back seats. I black out at some point and don’t wake till my mom whispers, “Frankie, we’re home.”

Math is my only class before the replay today. Geoff sends many sweet messages riddled with grammar errors about how my boyfriends’ better be prepared for a beating. He’s seen me with the guys before. For the first time I decide to reply would you like to join the homosexual polyamorous relationship? He doesn’t reply, possibly he didn’t understand but equally possible he’s too angry.
I sit with Ray and Bob in the stands. “Carl broke up with his girlfriend Alison because she was caught cheating on him,” Brendon says sitting down behind us with nameless guy. “He’s really sad and angry so this’ll be fun.”
I glance down at Gabe and Carl waiting for the coin toss. Gabe is pitching first and winks at Carl who refuses to shake his hand.
By half time Gabe got two home runs and the away team is killing us. Hiding my delight, badly, I skip down to the away stand where I’m supposedly going to the bathroom. “You’re murdering us,” I smile at Pete and Mikey who’d sidled down to meet me.
“With that smile you sound like a psycho,” Pete laughs.
“I’m worried about Gabe,” Mikey says scowling out to the field, “He’s such a show off and your pitcher seems even more pissy than usual… Just don’t want him to beat Gabe up.”
I feel my face fall. He’s right. As much as I love seeing it, these guys don’t deal well with getting shown up. And if Carl just got dumped…
“Tell Gabe to ease up a bit. He can win but he doesn’t have to hit a homerun every time,” I say. Mikey and Pete nod and go off to find our friend just as Gerard and Bert arrive. “Hey guys.”
“Hi,” they say in unison. “What’s up?”
“Just congratulating your school on your doubtless beating of my school and its king jerk,” I smile at them.
“Is the quarter back guy not king?” Bert asks smiling evilly.
“Nah he’s more Princess Jerk.”
After only five minutes of joking around I have to make it back up to Ray, Brendon, nameless guy and Bob. They all look confused. “What I don’t get is how this guy is obviously our age but this is the first time he’s ever played,” Ray says, his brow furrowing, “and he’s not new because I’m pretty sure we were in the same middle school.”
“Oh yea, Gabe has always lived here,” I say casually sitting down, “He just hates playing baseball.”
Every eyebrow disappears behind bangs except for Ray’s which just elevates to a superior placement on his forehead. “Um, yea, I’ve spoken to him before, he, uh, doesn’t like baseball but is very good and uh he wanted to try again…” I admit I’m shit at stringing sentences together when I’m being stared at like this.
“Oh,” nameless guy says. Then all the players return to the field and we begin again.

Carl spends chemistry awake and glaring. He lost the game very badly. Gabe eased up on the showing off but Carl made a whole load of mistakes himself that served to have him look like a terrible player. At one point Gabe only ran to first base even though he could have run home, trying to let Carl dignify himself only to have him throw a ball straight to the next player’s bat. Pencey’s worst player scored a homerun.
Now Carl sits fuming in his letter jacket. Rumours have it that he’s going to lose his spot as pitcher when the season starts thanks to that beautiful display of suckiness.
We’ve just successfully made salt and water out of acid and base when a pretty girl sways over to our bench. She has long dark curly hair and is wearing a green dress with a letter jacket over it. She pulls the jacket off and tosses it at Carl. Ray dives at the flask of acid and kept it from spilling on Carl. “You should probably take this. It’ll be your last memory of both me and baseball. Don’t jerk off over it,” she twirls around and struts back to a bench where a blond girl is smirking. Her perfume remains like a ghost in her wake.
Carl lets out a growl like noise and stomps out the door. Our chemistry teacher jumps in shock and then runs out the door after him. “That was Alison, who just broke up with Carl,” Ray explains. I look up and see the girl laughing with her partner. She tosses her hair and catches my eye. I try to look away but she holds my gaze. She says something to the blond girl and walks back toward our bench.
“I’m sorry if my big mean ex almost spilled your chemicals,” she practically purred. “I’d hate to hurt you in any way just because you got in the way of a big brash idiot.”
“It’s cool,” I say. I wasn’t exactly going to flirt with Carl’s ex. Plus I had my mind trained on Gee for that.
She starts twisting her hair around her fingers. “You’re new and I don’t think we’ve met. My name’s Alison.”
“Frank.”
“Where are you from Frank?”
“New Jersey.”
“Oh a city boy,” she giggles. I obviously show no reaction to this. “You’re in my English class aren’t you city boy?”
“Uh yea I think so.”
“You’re sooooo good,” she smiles up at me. Despite me being smaller I’m looking down a degree at her because she’s leaning against the desk and looking up. Her eyelashes fluttering against her cheek. “I heard you read Othello. I think it’s very important for a man to be smart.” I don’t know how to reply, she continues. “You could’ve thought my ex something I think. He’s not terribly bright. I like it when guys are smart, Frank.”
“Couldn’t tell by your previous choice,” I mutter.
She laughs, “You’re very funny Frank.”
Carl storms back in followed by our teacher. She says for the class to start cleaning up now. Carl marches back to our bench. “What’re you doing Alison?”
“Just talking to Frank here. I’m having a party on Friday, Frank would you like to come?” She smiles her eyelashes fluttering.
“I thought you’d cancelled it!” Carl bellows.
Alison smirks, this is obviously the reaction she’d been looking for. “Nope, it’s still on, you’ve just lost an invite.” And with that she glides back to her giggling blond friend and begin carefully pouring out their failed concoction.
“What the fuck is your problem Iero!” Carl shrieks and kicks over his stool.
I can’t find Bob and Ray after classes that day. I search from the stairs because on the floor I can’t see over the waves of people all dressed in school colours.
I grab my books and decide to try meet them in the car park. I realise the second I’m in the parking lot that this was a very bad idea.
“That’s the asshole who was flirting with Alison,” a voice growls from behind me. Before I can think or run I’m being yanked behind a piece of outcropping wall. Geoff holds me against the wall between two massive bins. “What the fuck were you saying to my ex Iero?” he punches me in the stomach before I can answer. The blow winds me. “Well?” I can’t answer due to the fact my abdominal muscles are only now peeling off my spine. He punches me again. “Don’t try flirt with my girl. I’m going to be back with her by the end of the week so just stay the fuck away.” He punches me again and then Geoff lets go. I slump to the floor, gasping. My head lying against a trashcan I see feet shuffling off toward the parking lot.

Ray and Bob find me after a while. Ray gasps various concerns and Bob curses Geoff and Carl. Neither of them give out to me for not waiting for them where we’d met every time before. Between them they carry me into the almost bare car park and toward Bob’s pickup. At home they help me into my room where I pass out on my bed.
I wake to a knocking on my door. My eyes fly open and I see Gerard standing in the open doorway. “Your mom let me in,” he says looking down. “I can’t believe they fucking got you again.”
“It’s okay,” I say, wincing as I pull myself upwards. “This is what happens when you flirt with the baseball captains ex.”
Gerard looks taken aback, like I’d just said something really hurtful. “Um I mean he thought I’d been flirting with her… I hadn’t though. And I won’t because I’m not attracted to her. Not that she isn’t uh hot just…”
Gerard laughs, “I getcha Frankie don’t worry. Want to hang out? I came to see if you wanted to come skating but I don’t think you should.”
“Yea.”
We sit on my bed then and listen to music then for a few hours and then Gerard goes home.

I go to school the next day with only half the homework done. Despite the fact that I’m sitting, yet again, right under Mr. Roberts’ nose, he doesn’t spot me scribbling in French in a copy under my maths books.
At lunch I’m horrified to find Ray and Bob have gone on a surprise class trip to some historical field. I get lunch and make a B-line for the French literature section. I’m out of the cafeteria line and almost out the door when I’m stopped.
“Hi Frank,” Alison smiles. Fuck.
“I’m sorry Alison I’ve got to go.”
“Where?”
“This way.”
She giggles. “Oh Frank you’re so funny. Why don’t you come sit with me?” She smiles and touches my arm.
I jerk away from her touch. “What’s wrong Frank, have you got a girlfriend or something?” She frowns.
“No-”
“Then what’s the problem?”
For some reason a whole load of anger wells up inside of me FUCK HETRONORMALITY “Go back to your fucking pitcher and leave me alone.” I growl.
I see her expression go from flirtatious to menacing in the blink of an eye “You’re a fag aren’t you.”
“Just because I don’t want to fuck you doesn’t mean I’m gay,” I say matter-of-factly. Even though in truth I’m not the straightest pole on the street she’s got to know that she can’t have anyone she wants.
Her eyes narrow and she straightens up, taller than me again. “A pity you came out in such a homophobic school, Frank. And what a pity I heard because I know a lot of people and I know how to make a lot of people know a lot of things.” She smiles sweetly, steals a fry and skips back to a table full of girls in various stages of undress. I shudder and walk off to the library.

The fun begins straight after lunch. I walk through the halls listening to whispers as I pass, words like “gay” and “faggot” jumping out at me. We do theory in chemistry because a lot of the class is missing. By the end I have enough scraps of paper condemning my sexuality to keep a fire burning all millennia.
I go to my locker after the last bell and find the word FAG scraped in. How the fuck does Alison move so fast. I run straight home after school. Literally run because I’m afraid to death that Carl or Geoff will grab me again and there’s something in their manner that tells me they wouldn’t be the most excepting in terms of my sexuality.
When I reach my bedroom the events of the day finally hit me. Adrenaline and stubbornness were keeping me sane and cool all school day but now it all becomes too much. I just lie on my floor, not exactly crying… well okay yea, I cry.

Notes

Back from the island!!! it was great but i really missed writing and ended up coming up with ideas for new fics so... anyway here's the next chapter :))) let me know what you think!