We'll dance again

I spend most of the weekend out skating with the guys. Yea I’ve started calling them the guys. The paranoia of but do they actually like me disappeared when Gerard called over to hang out Saturday evening without the others. The dude is a fucking amazing artist. We sat on my bedroom floor and he drew and gave out about his art teacher giving him a B because he was late handing in his assignment by ten minutes and how smug everyone in his class was. Then he showed me a drawing he had on his phone he’d done of Mikey. Then he got all shy and embarrassed and apologised for showing off and I told him it was okay and I could have kissed his beautiful blushing face there and then.
But I didn’t because that would have been rash and would no doubt blow up in my face.
So instead I just continue to sit on my bedroom floor with a guy I’d kill to fuck and give out about things.
Sunday I had dinner out with my mom who was so overboard enthusiastic that I had friends. She had bragged to her friends back in Jersey that I was “flourishing” here, I had friends and was doing well at dance. She didn’t mention that I’m still getting beat up and that my friends are all in a different school.
Sunday night I go over to Gerard and Mikey’s and drink enough vodka to sink a ship and stagger home. Probably not a good idea.

Definitely wasn’t a good idea. My alarm goes off at seven and the beeps pierce through my brain. The light that escapes my curtains set out to blind me. My head pounds like a stone mason is working away in there and my stomach feels like it wants to eject.
And it gets it’s wish, I run into the bathroom after breakfast and throw up all I just ate.
“Are you alright Frank?” My mom says as I slink out of the bathroom.
“Just morning sickness. Mom I’m pregnant,” I try to sound light hearted, it comes out as a serious confession.
“Right. You’re not missing any more school but if you get in the car in the next ten minutes I’ll give you a lift.”
The school is full of people sporting the school colours of green and yellow. Its gross yes, and even more gross when you’re surrounded by a sea of it. I wade through to find my locker and get my things. I’m slightly later to math than everyone else and end up at the front again. A paper football hits me, rather hard, in the back of the neck as Mr. Roberts explains one of the homework questions no one understood on the board.
Why r u dressed in black emo and not suporting the school. Theres a baseball game 2day but u wouldn’t no that bc u weren’t here
Well that was a struggle to read. I look over my shoulder and see Geoff glaring at me and then getting distracted by something caught in his teeth. I hope the baseball game is against Gerard’s school but then again if I’m seen with the opponents there is no doubt Geoff will kick the shit out of me again.
I sit in the corner of the stands, looking down at the baseball field, waiting to identify the opposition. The stands slowly fill, most of my class mates sitting around me but still keeping a safe distance from the guy dressed in black who’s glaring at the pitch.
A crackling comes from the speakers that are dotted about the stands. The crackling is followed by ear piercing feedback. The combination of this and the sun is really not helping my current hangover. “Hello everyone. Ready for the friendly game between riverside rangers,” cheers, “and the Pencey Parrots!” a load of booing from around me. I can’t join in, I’m too delighted that we’re playing the guy’s school.
A whole load of people in mixed colours and clothes march into a stand on the opposing side. I scour the mass of bodies for my friends. Surrounded by girls I see Pete. He isn’t paying attention to them but searching my stand. His eyes meet mine and he winks. A row behind him Gerard and Bert sit down and smile over at me, they’re wearing sunglasses, probably as hung over as I am.
Then the teams pile onto the pitch. A coin is flipped and the two teams glare at each other and oh dear god Gabe plays baseball...
We’re batting first and I see Gabe line up as pitcher. Carl stands at home base and does a little preparation gig swinging his bat in various directions. “Hey Frankie!” Gabe calls up at me and winks.
The stand all turns around to see who Gabe is signalling. I look around too, no one needs to know I’m rooting for the other side. I won’t get beat up, yet.
At half time I leave the stands in a state of delight. Gabe is actually whopping Carl’s ass in the only thing Carl is any good at.
I meet Mikey down the back of the away stand. “If you could please thank Gabe for me for showing up that massive asshole” I smile.
“Gabe hates baseball you know,” Mikey says, I raise an eyebrow, “yea he’s really good but only agreed to play so that he could beat the guy beat you up.”
I go back to my seat grinning like a lunatic. I have friends and they’re the coolest people ever.

The game ends in a draw and a replay is decided for next Monday, same time. Carl stays awake for chemistry and glares at myself and Ray as we tackle hydrochloric acid. He would silently sit staring at the flasks of acid as if he was trying to will it to topple over on us. Randomly he’d ask if I knew the pitcher. I would deny it and he’d believe me for twelve minutes before asking again. Ray catches me on the way out the door to tell me that Bob has offered me a ride home. I know he’s trying to protect me from being beat up in the parking lot but I’m not going to be all manly and refuse. After school Bob and Ray escort me from building and into the pickup. Squished together we bump down the road calling Carl and Geoff various names.
“It’s nice to see you not black and blue again,” Ray calls as I slide from the pickup, “want to sit with us at lunch tomorrow?”
I nod violently. No more spending lunch in the French literature section.
“Cool, see ya!”
I walk in and do my homework. I can’t wait to praise Gabe for all his efforts in humiliating Carl.

I meet Bob and Ray at lunch the next day. I share no classes with Bob and only one with Ray. We get our lunches in the cafeteria and then leave to the hiding place of the school’s only cool people.
Okay maybe “cool” isn’t the word to be used more “the school’s only people who don’t glare at me whenever I move.
We go through what feels like miles of sports fields and end up at the back of the field hockey pitch. “the school holds about one field hockey training session a month so this is pretty much the most secluded place,” Ray explains putting his tray of now pretty cold food down on a picnic bench.
Bob sits beside him so I sit on the opposite side. After about ten minutes of discussing what classes we have (Bob takes home economics huh) two other guys appear. “Hello! Oh it’s the new guy, Frank. Hi I’m Brendon and I’ll be running for school class president soon.” The guy from the secretary’s office says smiling. “I hope to be the first Mormon to achieve this.”
“You’re the only Mormon in the school, ever,” the other guy sighs.
They sit and all have a lengthy discussion on something I don’t follow, I smile and nod. By the end of lunch all I know is that Brendon is younger than me and the model student. The other guy, whose name was never mentioned shares two classes with me and that Bob and Ray share my music taste but they are keeping that secret by wearing band shirts under jackets because this is a closed minded school. I think I’ll follow their example tomorrow if I can find some form of jacket that isn’t black or with Metallica or Iron Maiden or The Misfits printed on it somewhere.

The school week passes without much pain on my part physically. Bob has this strange asshole repellent that no matter what people don’t bother me when he’s around. I showed Geoff up in English by reading out an answer he had also just read out and the teacher said, “Geoff, you seem to not be improving grammatically at all, maybe you should ask Mr. Iero for some tips.” And then again the day after by arguing with his really boring opinion on the Sylvia Plath. He grabbed my elbow in the hall and shoved me hard into the lockers. It hurt a lot but not as much as it would of if Bob hadn’t shown up and told him to fuck off. I survived without getting locked in a locker or beaten up again.
At last it’s Friday and I get a lift home Bob, Brendon and the dude whose name I still haven’t been told. This time as Ray stays longer in the school with some club. Either debating or band or swimming. We don’t ask for a reason I haven’t asked about.
“We’re all coming back to mine Frank, if you wanna com,” Bob says before cursing someone in a Chrysler minivan that just pulled out in front of him. “We’re going to play video games and eat pizza if you want to come over? Ray’ll be around later too.”
Every head, that is so close together the whole #nohomo thing went out the window like Brendon’s apple core, turns and looks at me.
“Thanks for the offer Bob it means a lot but I have something on tonight so I’ll have to pass this time,” I say nervously.
“It’s cool, what’re you doing?” Every eye feels like it’s burning through me. Ballet. I’ll be prancing around on demi pointe “Oh my mom has roped me into this neighbourhood thing.” They all nod and mutter “yea” or “mothers”.
I dress for ballet and start on my homework. My phone lights up. Out tonight?? From Gee.
See ya at nine? I reply smiling down at my phone. The reply pops up immediately making me giggle at my desk. Yup yay
I could here Pete’s “hah gaaaay” in the back of my head. Correct Pete, correct.
Ballet is brilliant. We spend the whole class doing leaps. All the girls around me being screamed at for landing in ways that supposedly will leave permanent damage to their knees. I have no such problem but get my fair share of criticism as I attempt a leap from plié. “Frank! What on earth are you doing! Such locked joints! No fluidity! No elegance! This is a ballet school if you wish to jump around like that start wrestling or hurdles!”
The last ten minutes of class are spent with Adrienne informing us that there will be try outs for the Christmas performance on Saturday morning and that everyone should attend. That there are two lead parts and the production is an adaptation of beauty and the beast. “No gender normalities here so you all may try for male and female parts.” She beams her eyes focused on me. I don’t care I’m trying out for the male lead, not for Belle.
I meet the guys at the library once I had changed from my ballet clothes.
“Hey Frankie!” Gerard smiles skating over to me. Everyone else greets me after doing whatever it is they were doing.
“Pete got the perfect Ollie earlier, on the bench,” Bert says when he skates by me after doing a 360 off the wheelchair ramp.
“There used to be a rail there but we got really drunk and pissed off one night and decided to get rid of it,” Mikey says following my eyes to the ramp.
“What? Really?” I say, quite shocked.
“Yea we’re way stronger when we’re drunk and don’t realise what we’re doing till it’s done,” Gabe explains skating over the ramp.
“I’ll be Frank, I never thought you guys to be strong,” I say, cursing myself for, yet again, using that goddam pun. No one makes any indication of being sick of it yet.
We skate half the night away and then they all come back to my house. Not quite “in the mood” to go home. Really I think they wanted to raid my fridge because I’d made the mistake of telling them my mom had made trifles. We sit around my kitchen gossiping like old women for over an hour, eating trifle.

Notes

I'm afraid I'll be on an island in the middle of the Atlantic now for three days so I won't be able to update till i get home /.\ in the mean time you could check out my other fics or something :))) xxx