Kill This Venom From My Heart

"Babe, what's going on? Are you ok?" I babble out, speaking too fast to properly be understood but Gerard just makes a soft cooing noise before saying "Hey it's ok, I'm alright" and I feel myself calm down immediately. "So what happened?" I ask as I leave the room, the interviewer staring at me as I go and as I wander down the hall to go outside to where the bus is Gerard says "I called the cops and when they showed up she took off, I'm not sure if they're going to look for her but they said if she comes back to call." "Are you sure you're ok?" I ask, worry clouding my mind and Gerard chuckles softly before saying "Yes baby I'm completely fine, I swear." "I miss you so fucking much, I wish I was there to protect you" I tell him and Gerard hums before saying "I miss you too baby but don't worry about protection, Mama really hates Jamia, she was barking and trying to bite and scratch through the screen door." I let out a small chuckle before saying "That's my girl" making Gerard laugh too. "So I guess I better let you go and....." "Actually I have a little while before I need to do anything, talk to me baby, tell me about your morning." I hear Gerard hum out a happy little noise before he tells me about his day and then I tell him about mine, both of us laughing and joking and it makes me realise just how much I miss him. "Can't believe how much I miss you" I tell him and I can just picture his cheeks growing red like they always do before as he says "I miss you too, I can't wait to see you again, I have a new painting from class that I really want to show you." "I can't wait to see it, I bet it will be amazing" I tell him and Gerard chuckles softly before saying "I don't know about amazing but....." "How silly of me, what I meant to say was I know it will be amazing, probably your best work yet even though all your art is amazing and when I get home I am going to hang it on the wall so I can admire it every day because that's how amazing I already know it is" I tell him, making him laugh again and after another few minutes of small talk Ryan comes out of the bus and signals to me that we need to head into the venue and I tell Gerard I have to go, telling him how much I love and miss him again and he tells me the same before we hang up, my phone slipping into my pocket as I join Ryan in going inside, smirking to myself as an idea crosses my mind.

An hour and a half later we are on stage and in the breaks between songs I talk to the crowd, killing some time while the guys make sure their instruments are in tune for the next song and just before we launch into a song I wrote about Gerard for our last record and I smile wide out into the audience, glancing around at all the cell phones and cameras filming me as I say "I want to dedicate this song to the most incredible person I've ever met in my whole life who has changed my world in ways I never could have imagined. I love you Gerard and this song was written for you" before we launch into the song and I can't keep the smile off my face the whole time, knowing this video will end up on the internet and that Gerard will see it. When the show finally ends we all leave the stage and head back to the dressing room, changing before heading out to sign autographs and then getting on the bus and by the time I collapse into my bunk I am exhausted, on the verge of passing out but before I do I open the photos on my phone and scroll through to find the ones of Gerard and Mama, slowly swiping through them and smiling wide and I end up falling asleep with the smile still on my face.

The next few days pass by in a blur, Gerard having messaged me two nights after the show to tell me he saw the dedication and that he loved it and during yet another boring and way too long bus ride our tour manager comes into the front lounge while we are playing video games and tells us that the two festival days we were meant to play next week have been cancelled as the festival has been called off meaning we will have five days off in a row and I immediately get up to grab my laptop, checking the schedule hanging on the wall and seeing where our last show will be before that and I book a flight from that city to LA, planning on surprising Gerard by coming home for a few days. The next few days pass slowly, my excitement for going home making everything seem like its going so slowly until finally we are in the last city, preparing for our last show for the week and between sound check and the show Gerard calls me, having heard about the festival cancellation and I lie, telling him we have other commitments to make up for it instead and he asks a few questions before I change the subject, talking about his classes and his still unsuccessful job hunt and by the time we hang up I am convinced he suspects nothing. The show that night is energetic, all of us excited to have time off and the guys all have their own plans for the next few days and after the show I skip the showers and hanging around and I head straight out to the bus, grabbing my bag I'm taking home and getting in the cab the tour manager organised for me, a car waiting in LA for me when I get there too and three hours after the show ended I am in the air, tired but unable to fall asleep from the excitement and by the time I make it to LA it is three in the morning, the airport mostly deserted which makes me happy because it makes it so much quicker to get my bag and get out, the roads also quieter and the drive seems to take no time at all, the driver getting a very generous tip from me and he smiles and thanks me before pulling away and I grab my bag, heading up to the front door and letting myself in and when I step inside I hear a little growl and a woof before scratching on the floorboards and Mama comes running into view, her ears sticking up and she growls a little again before I drop my knees and say "Hey baby" and she realises it's me, running a little faster as her tail wags and she jumps up against me, licking at my face as I wrap my arms around her and pick her up, her little body wriggling against me as her tail continues to wag. "I missed you and daddy so much" I tell her as I quietly make my way upstairs, leaving my bag in the hallway and when I reach the bedroom I open the door and let myself in, kicking my shoes off before approaching the bed where I can see Gerard stretched out under the covers, the moonlight shining on his face just enough that I can make his features out and he looks like an angel, my heart fluttering at the sight and I ease myself down onto the bed, Mama coming with me and as I make myself comfortable Mama walks across and noses at Gerards face, making him squirm before she starts licking and he groans before cracking his eyes open a little and saying "So you figured out a way up here huh?" and I chuckle softly before saying "Well she had some help" and Gerard jolts as he slides back away from me a little before realisation sets in and he launches himself across the bed at me, Mama leaping out of the way and Gerard climbs over me and starts kissing me, my hands clenching in the back of his shirt as I kiss back just as eagerly. "You're really here?" He asks slightly breathless when he pulls back for air and I chuckle before saying "Yes baby I'm really here," my hand coming up to stroke his hair back before coming down to cup his cheek. After another kiss Gerard slumps down to lay against my chest, his face buried in my neck and I shuffle down a little, making myself comfortable against the pillows as Gerard lays on me and I pull the covers over us, sliding my arms under them to wrap around him tight and as I let my eyes close, letting sleep finally claim me I feel Mama walk over and curl into my side, curling up and falling asleep with us, my mouth pulled into a huge smile as I fall asleep with my perfect little family.

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