Kill This Venom From My Heart

A week into tour I finally get a hotel night and after I shower I settle on the bed and call Gerard for the first time in three days, the schedule being too hectic for calls and when he answers I sigh in relief at hearing his voice. "Babe, you have no idea how good your voice sounds" I tell him and Gerard chuckles and says "Not as good as yours. Hows tour been so far? I've been keeping up on youtube as much as possible, you guys sounded great last night." "Thanks babe, it's been more fun than I thought it would be, the only thing that could make it better would be if you were here with me." "That would be fun" Gerard says and I hum softly before asking him about his first day of art school which was yesterday. "It was amazing babe, I have this professor who is really cool, she's covered in tattoos like you and she was so laid back" he tells me before adding "I think I'm really going to like it and the schedule isn't as heavy as I thought it was going to be so I'm thinking of looking for a part time job." "You know you don't have to babe, I mean I can handle the bills and....." "Frank I don't want to be useless and make you pay for everything" Gerard cuts me off to say and I sigh softly before saying "Babe we're married, it's not me paying for everything, what's mine is yours, including money which is why I got you your own cards to my account so I don't see it as me paying for you." "I know but I still feel bad, like it's uneven" he tells me and I decide not to fight it anymore, saying "Well if that's what you want baby then good luck with the job hunt, but just remember you don't have to get a job." Gerard hums and we start discussing ideas about where he would want to work, what kind of part time jobs appeal to him and he tells me he is going to start applying the next day.

"So how is everything else going?" I ask, soft rustling sounding in the background and I can tell Gerard is in bed too. "Yeah everything else is fine, I braved traffic and went to get groceries the other day and now I understand why you hate it so much on your own. Oh, also don't be mad but Mama may have chewed on a couple of cables in your music room the other day, I'm really sorry I didn't realise I left the door open after I vacuumed and I would have replaced them but I'm not really sure what....." his voice going up as he starts talking faster and I cut him off to say "Hey it's ok, whatever they were they probably weren't that important , I mean have you seen how many cords and cables are in that room? I probably have a million of whatever it is." "I'm still sorry" he says and I smile to myself before saying "It's fine baby, really." We continue to make small talk for a few minutes before I glance over and see on the bedside table the password and username for the wifi here and I ask Gerard if we can skype, wanting to see his face and he agrees, hanging up and I grab my laptop out of my bag, starting it up and when I'm connected to the wifi I log into skype and a few seconds later Gerard comes online and I start a video call with him, setting the laptop on the bedside table and angling the screen so I can see properly and be seen on camera as I settle on my side and make myself comfortable, Gerard coming into view in a similar position. "Hey gorgeous" I greet him, Gerards face breaking out into a smile as his cheeks go a little pink. "Missed your face so much" he replies and I smile wide too before reaching out and stroking my finger over his cheek on the screen. "Not warm enough" I tell him and he giggles softly before we fall into silence, just staring at each other until Gerard snuggles into the pillow further and lets out a soft yawn, reaching up to rub at his eyes and I smile at how warm and sleepy and comfortable he looks."Tired baby?" I ask and he nods before saying "Yeah I was playing with Mama and she wore me out" making me laugh and I shake my head before saying "Can we leave this on for a while? Even if you fall asleep I just want to see you." "Yeah baby" Gerard mumbles out before yawning and I shift to get more comfortable before I start to softly sing Gerards favourite songs, a lazy smile spreading across his face as his eyes slip closed and after the second song I can tell he's asleep, his lips twitching softly and his chest rising and falling evenly. I continue to watch him for another fifteen minutes before my eyes start to grow heavy and I softly say "I love you so fucking much baby" before reaching out and ending the call, closing my laptop down and rolling over, curling up and allowing myself to get my first proper nights sleep in a week.

A few days after my skype call with Gerard I am sitting in a backstage room waiting on an interviewer that was meant to be here five minutes ago and I decide to wait another five before leaving and declining the interview when my phone starts to ring and I pull it from my pocket and see Gerards name on the screen. "Hey baby whats up?" I ask and he takes a deep breath before saying "Jamia's here." "What? You didn't let her in did you?" I ask, my heart starting to race and Gerard breathes shakily again before saying "Well no but this is the second day in a row she's turned up here and I'm starting to feel a little scared." "Baby I'm pretty sure our restraining order is still in effect, call the police and have them remove her" I tell him and he sighs softly before saying "I just.....I kinda feel bad for her after the last time she was here bruised and...." "Baby she's fucking crazy, if you want I'll call the police" I offer and Gerard hums before saying "No i'll do it." "Ok well you call me back in a little while and let me know what happened ok?" "Ok baby, i'll talk to you soon" he tells me and I tell him I love him before hanging up and just as I go to stand and leave, deciding I'm not waiting any longer the door bursts open and the young girl conducting the interview comes in apologising repeatedly for being late, explaining about a car accident that held her up and I sit back down, allowing the interview and just as we finish up my phone starts ringing again and I cut off the end of the interview to answer, Gerards name flashing on the screen.

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