Kill This Venom From My Heart

A few days go by and I don't hear from the guys, all of them seeming to understand that I'm being hit the hardest by the news and I spend my days either in bed or curled up on the sofa in the music/art room, staring out the window as I think. Gerard and I barely speak, Gerard attempting conversation a few times but I didn't have much to offer back so he just backs off and gives me space, the only time we really spend together is when we both climb into bed at night. I wake up late in the morning, the sunlight way too bright for my liking and I roll over so my back is to the window, planning on just going back to sleep but I gasp and jump as I roll and come face to face with Bob who is sitting beside the bed. "Jesus fuck" I hiss out, my heart racing and Bobs face remains hard as he says "Get out of bed Frank." "What?" "I said get up." "Why?" I ask, not really in the mood for this and as I go to roll back over so my back is to him again Bob stands up and grabs the blankets, ripping them off the bed before saying "Because you have a husband downstairs you've abandoned who is going out of his mind with worry. Knock off the fucking pity party, pull your head out of your ass, get the fuck up and go talk to him." I sit up, running my hands through my hair as I try to recall the last time Gerard and I really spoke and I am horrified to realise I can't really remember. I glance up and meet Bobs gaze, his eyebrow raising at me and I sigh as I slide towards the edge of the bed, Bob seeming satisfied by the movement as he turns and leaves the room and I stand up, stretching slightly before I follow him and just as I reach the bottom of the stairs I hear him tell Gerard to call if he needs anything before the front door shuts. I walk down the hallway in that direction and I run into Gerard in the kitchen doorway, his head down and as I take a step towards him he looks up and I see the sadness in his eyes, dark bags under them also telling me he hasn't been sleeping well. "I'm sorry" I say softly as I step forward and wrap my arms around Gerard's waist, pulling him into my chest and he willingly melts into me, his head coming to rest on my shoulder as he hugs me back.

We stand there holding each other for a few minutes before Gerard starts to pull away but I don't let him go far, keeping one arm around his waist as my other hand comes up and gently cups his cheek as I lean in to kiss him, Gerard's lips moving immediately against mine and after a few long seconds my tongue swipes across his bottom lip as I slide my arm down and scoop him into my arms, turning to carry him upstairs bridal style, our kiss never breaking. When we reach the bedroom I gently lay Gerard down, making sure he's comfortable before I slowly climb over him, leaning down to kiss him again soft and sweet, not in a rush for anything, just needing to know he's there with me. After a few minutes of soft kisses Gerard leans up slightly and increases the pressure slightly, his teeth just catching my bottom lip as I pull away for air and I smile to myself as I slide my hands down and grab the bottom of his shirt, sliding it off him while I'm pulled back and as soon as it's off I throw it aside as I lean down and start kissing down his jaw, working my way down the side of his neck and Gerard's hips shift upwards, his crotch grinding against my thigh and I can feel his half hard dick through his sweatpants. I kiss my way back up to his jaw, kissing my way up to his ear where I stop to softly whisper "What do you want baby? Whatever you want is yours." Gerard whines softly as he tilts his head to capture my lips in a kiss again, his body squirming beneath mine and he shifts around enough so he can spread his legs, forcing me to kneel between them as he bends them up, planting his feet on the bed and he pushes his body down against my thighs, telling me what he wants without words and I nod, telling him I understand and as I continue to kiss him I slide my hands down and slowly pull his sweatpants off his hips, breaking our kiss to shift back so I can pull them off fully, leaving Gerard naked beneath me. "So beautiful" I whisper mostly to myself as I lean back in and start gently kissing across his stomach, Gerard squirming and letting out a breathy giggle as my kisses tickle him and I smile against his skin as my hands slowly rub and down his thighs, Gerard's whole body relaxed under my touch.

An hour later we are laying side by side sharing soft slow kisses, our lips barely brushing together as we pant softly, still a little out of breath, both our bodies slightly sweaty, leftover streaks of cum splattering our stomachs and I break our kiss to roll onto my back, Gerard immediately sliding over to curl against my side, his body half on top of mine as his head rests on my chest and I wrap my arm around him tight, holding him to me as I bring the other up to push his damp sweaty hair off his forehead. "I'm sorry" I whisper, my hand gently rubbing up and down Gerard's bare back and I feel him shake his head against my chest before he says "I love you, please just let me in." "I love you too baby" I whisper back before we both fall silent, my hand continuing to soothingly rub his back and Gerard bring his hand up to gently trace patterns across my stomach with his finger until we both fall asleep, the knot in my stomach feeing like its gone as I hold my husband close.

Notes