Kill This Venom From My Heart

"What's going on?" I ask as I lock eyes with Brian and he sighs before saying "Maybe you should sit down Frank." I swallow hard, walking over to take a seat on the free armchair and once I'm settled Brian says "I had a meeting with the label yesterday. They want to have an official meeting with you guys next week but they gave me the heads up yesterday, they're dropping you guys from the label." "What? They can't do that we're still under contract for another two records" I protest, the rest of the guys glancing from me to Brian and Brian shakes his head before saying "I know, but they're willing to offer you a payout in compensation. It's only a fraction of what you stand to make otherwise but there's really not much we can do, after the dramas you guys have gone through as a band and with what Jamia pulled at the label show they just don't think you're a worthy investment anymore." "So that's it?" I spit, feeling completely confused and overwhelmed. "They're dropping us and there's nothing you can do?" "It doesn't have to be the end of the world Frank" Ryan offers and I turn my attention on him, my forehead creased in anger as I say "I'm sorry, what part of the label dropping us do you not understand? Were you not around at the beginning when we were rejected by everyone else? This band is my whole life, I gave up everything for this and now it's over and you're telling me it's not the end of the world? It is Ryan, it's the end of my world, I don't have anything else to fall back on, this band was it." Ryan takes a few breaths before saying "Frank we can try again with the other labels and...." "And what if they don't want us? One label dropped us, why would anyone else want us?" Ryan frowns and looks over at the rest of the guys for help but they remain silent, unsure of what to say and after a few long seconds of silence I can't take it any longer, pushing myself out of the chair and crossing the room, pausing briefly at the door to pull on my shoes before I open the front door, stepping out and ignoring Gerard calling out to me as I slam it shut behind me and I take off, running across the lawn and down the street, desperate to put distance between myself and the conversation that just took place in my living room.

I run until I can't breathe anymore, my lungs burning and my side aching and I feel a small twinge of pain in my stomach as I stop running and drop to my knees, panting heavily for breath as I feel my eyes well with tears, a million thoughts racing through my mind. What am I meant to do now? Will another label really want to take us? What if Gerard won't want me anymore? The last question makes my stomach churn and my heart thud painfully as the tears welling in my eyes spill over and I sniffle softly as I bring my hands up to wipe them away. Out of everything else that could happen Gerard leaving would by far be the worst and after a few long minutes of crying I slowly push myself back up onto my feet and I start slowly walking back home again.

By the time I make it back the pain in my stomach has gotten a lot worse to the point where I can't ignore it anymore and as the house comes into view I see Gerard sitting on the front step, his face lighting up with he sees me and he stands and runs across the lawn, wrapping me in a giant hug and I clench my hands in the back of his shirt as I bury my face in his neck. "Please don't leave" I beg, pressing myself even closer to him and Gerard tightens his hold on me as he says "Never baby, I'll never ever leave." After we hold each other on the front lawn for a few minutes Gerard lets me go, gently sliding his arm around my waist as he ushers me back inside, the living room empty now and I take a seat on the couch, Gerard leaving the room again before coming back with a glass of water. "Here babe" he says softly as he kneels in front of me and offers me the glass, waiting until I drink it all before he takes it back and sits it on the floor beside him. "Talk to me" he pleads softly and I lower my head before saying "The label is dropping us." "Ok" he says slowly, clearly unsure about what to say and I raise my head to meet his gaze again as I say "So that's pretty much it, no more band." "Well can't you sign with a different label?" Gerard asks, his hand gently resting on my knee and I sigh before saying "They all rejected us before, now that we've been dropped by the only label that would take a chance on us I really don't see why that would change their minds." "Oh" he says, biting on his bottom lip before saying "Well you could always try and if they don't want you well that's their loss. You're incredibly talented babe, I know you'll be just fine no matter what happens." "I play guitar and sing, beyond that I have zero skills, I have no college education, my only job experience was bagging groceries when I was 15 and on top of all that I'm covered in tattoos. I don't stand a chance in the world without the band. If you want leave I understand." "Babe don't be silly, why would I leave? I love you, no matter what happens that won't change. You're so much more talented than you give yourself credit for and if the band isn't meant to be anymore then you'll be just fine. There's always other bands or jobs in the music industry that you'd be perfect for and you write all the songs right? You could write for other people, one band doesn't have to be your whole world babe."

I close my eyes, slowly leaning forward until my forehead is resting against Gerard's and he slides his free hand up to cup the back of my neck. "I love you Frank, band or no band you're still the most incredible person I've ever met and no matter what happens I will always be by your side." "Thank you" I whisper out, slowly opening my eyes and staring into his and Gerard offers me a small smile before leaning in to press his lips to mine, kissing me softly and I kiss back until he pulls away, his thumb gently stroking at the base of my skull and I take a deep breath, breathing in Gerard's comforting scent as I slowly start to feel better, knowing Gerard is by my side.

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