Kill This Venom From My Heart

I feel panic gripping my whole body as I act on autopilot and I dive down onto my stomach, reaching down towards Jamia and she reaches her hand up, her fingers clutching at mine but my arms are too short to get a good grip on her and as I shuffle a little closer to the edge and get a better grip on her hand Jamia's other hand slips and she starts falling, my hand still outstretched towards her as she drops into an empty blackness and I can't even see her anymore, I can only hear her screams.

I jolt upright in bed, my whole body drenched in sweat as I pant for breath, shaking all over from the nightmare I just had. I glance over and see that it's 4 in the morning but I'm really worked up and my eyes start welling with tears as I reach out for my phone, dialling Gerard's number as I whine and shake all over, needing comfort badly. The phone almost rings out before Gerard's croaky voice says "Hello?" And it becomes obvious that he didn't check who was calling and he's probably still half asleep. I let out a choked off sob before choking out "Gee" and I hear him suck in a sharp breath before he says "Frankie? Baby what's wrong?" Sounding a lot more aware now. "She....she.....I....I couldn't...." I manage to choke out between sobs and Gerard gently shushes me and tells me to take a deep breath and try to calm down so I try but I'm still shaking all over. Gerard just lets me cry for a few minutes, just breathing on his end and letting me get it out before he says "Babe can you tell me what's going on?" I take a deep shaky breath before telling him about my dream and at the end he sighs softly and says "That bitch would totally deserve that but it's alright babe, it's just a dream, everything is gonna be just fine." "I wish you were still here, I need you so badly right now." "Oh baby I wish I was still there too" he tells me and I slump back down against my pillow, grabbing the one Gerard had been sleeping on while he was here and bringing it to my chest, breathing in his scent on it as I say "I'm sorry for waking you." "No it's alright Frankie, are you ok now?" "Yeah I think so, thanks baby." "I'm always here babe." We fall silent for a few minutes afterwards, just listening to each other breathe before I break the silence to say "I'll let you get back to sleep now babe. Have a good day at school later." "Ok Frankie, just stay calm and try to get some more sleep before your meeting. Will you call me later and let me know how it goes?" "Of course I will baby, it involves you just as much as me and I'm so sorry for bringing this on you." "It's not your fault baby, I understand." "I love you" I tell him and Gerard says "I love you too baby" before we hang up and I roll onto my side, sitting my phone on the table before crushing the pillow to my chest, burying my face in the fabric and letting my eyes slip closed again.

Later in the morning I wake up to my alarm, dragging myself out of bed and into the shower, getting ready for my meeting and when I get out, mostly dressed with my hair still wet and no shoes on I stumble downstairs for some coffee but I hear noises like someone moving around down there so I freeze on the stairs, my hand clutched around the railing until Bob comes out of the kitchen and into view, smiling over at me and saying "Come on, we don't have all morning." I frown in confusion as he disappears back into the kitchen and when I get to the doorway I see Ryan and Joe at the table drinking from Starbucks cups, an extra one sitting on the bench for me. "What are you guys doing here?" I ask hesitantly and Ryan turns to me, a soft smile on his face as he says "We're a band, we're family and we stick together" making me smile back and I take the seat beside him as he asks "So what's the whole story? What's going on?" So I take a deep breath and tell them exactly what's happened and about the photos, Ryan and Joe look horrified by the end, Joe reaching out across the table and patting my arm as he says "That bitch is going down."

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