Lainey's POV

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Goddammit, I thought I was walking closer to the road. Not the further into the fricken park.

I sighed as I looked at the tables spread before me, rather than head for limo to get the driver to take me home or to call a taxi I'd accidentally walked in the direction of the after party. It wasn't my fault either, there were no signs anywhere, or ropes, or security guards bossing me around. I've just walked past the pathway leading out here instead, not to mention that I have no fricken idea where in the park I am.

People were already beginning to mill into the party there were at least fifty different people in here already and more and more were coming in. Before long there's gonna be six hundred in here. There's no way I'm going to be able to find my way out when surrounded by so many people. It'll be practically impossible for me to find anyone from my brothers band in this crowd and if there are any waiters or staff here then they're invisible. There no way I'm gonna be able to get out of this party, not while walking around in high heels with Summer on my hip.

I didn't want to do this when I was originally invited and I shouldn't have. Instead I should have spent Saturday at home with my daughter like I've been wanting to for the past few weeks.

"Lainey, what are you doing here?" I heard someone call out to me and I stopped, looking around for the source of the energetic and nearly tiring voice and feeling genuinely surprised when I saw who it belonged to. "Cool, you've even gotten dressed up...and Summer! Look how big you've grown, woah. You're nearly as big as Patrick."

"Hi, Brendon. You're not wrong, she's grown pretty quickly, nearly four years old now. You wouldn't believe how hard it is, keeping up with her." The singer of PATD had leaned down and was talking to Sunny, cooing over her and when she reached towards Brendon I somewhat wearily let him take her.
I need to be careful, it's easy to get caught up in a conversation with him without meaning to.

"How long has it been since I last saw you and Sunny? It'd be nearly three years now, wouldn't it? I heard from Dale that you've moved out and gotten your own place. Oh and I got married but you didn't come to my wedding!" Brendon was talking almost too fast for me to keep up, likely still energized from Panic's performance slot at the awards but he'd always been excitable like that so it could just be him being normal.

"Um, yeah. I moved into a really nice, friendly apartment complex around the time of your wedding actually. I'm so sorry about that, I really wanted to come but Summer had her first bad cold because the trip really took it out of her and she was in no shape to travel more. I just didn't have the heart to do it to her." That had been a really horrible week for both me and her. I'd been so worried that I'd hardly gotten any sleep and she was crying all the time because didn't feel well and didn't know how to react to it. Even I was better off not going, I would have showed up looking like exhaustion on legs.

"No, it's fine. If she was sick then there's no way I could have expected you there, you went with the right choice. I'm twenty-nine I can barely take care of Bogart and Penny. It's gotta be tough raising a kid and growing up at the same time, I couldn't do it. That's why you're going to be the first person I'll be calling when Sarah and I end up with a rugrat of our own." I laughed at his suggestion and nodded, there was no way on earth I was going to be babysitting his kid. If it has half the energy he does then it's more than I could possibly handle.

"Well you and Sarah have my number, I'll promise tips and nothing more." As Brendon and I talked Summer ordered for him to let her down and he put her feet first on the ground before she walked over to me and started playing with the rings on the hand I had at my side.

"You'll definitely be getting a call sometime, it might even be from her to tell you to babysit me." Although it felt like it should, Brendon's suggestion didn't surprise me. I could honestly imagine getting that kind of call; while Brendon was a lot of fun to chat and hang out with it could get exhausting after long enough. It must be a challenge sometimes for Sarah to keep up considering that they live together.

"Wouldn't be easier for her to just drop you off at a boarding kennel?" I asked and Brendon laughed, grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing tray before replying.

"Yeah, she probably feels like that sometimes but Sarah's good to me. I was lucky to have met my dream girl and I got to marry her too so you're not going to hear me complaining," Brendon told me, taking a sip of his drink and putting a hand in his pocket. "What about you then? Have you gotten into the dating pool and hooked yourself someone or are you still not ready to dive in yet?" Now I wish I'd asked him to grab me a glass as well; recently I'd come to realize I hated talking about dating and whether it was with my family or a friend didn't make a difference.

"No, I'm living it up in the single scene. Junk food and vodka all the time, sleeping all day, hitting the clubs every night. You know, the usual." As a parent I didn't have time for even one of these let alone all three, not to mention had zero interest in getting drunk or hitting any sort of club. I can't even make it to Mommy and Me for Christ's sake.

"I get it, you're too busy but you should consider letting Sarah set you up with someone if you can ever find the time. Hey, if you don't feel comfortable being alone with them then we could make it a double date."

"Sounds good but I think I'll pass for the meanwhile." I glanced down at Sunny who'd pulled one of my bracelets off my wrist and was playing with it happily, as entirely uninterested by the conversation topic as a child could be. Brendon mustn't have been too interested in it either since he didn't question me when I suddenly changed the discussion to something that wasn't my dating life. "So how's Spencer doing these days? Is he still on the straight and narrow?" I'd met Spencer on a couple different occasions and we got along but I hadn't seen him since Dale and April's engagement party.

"He's doing great he's been completely clean for a while and he's happy so that's good for him and everyone else. Spence is with Dallon at the buffet I think, you should head over there and talk to them as some point. Who did you come here with? Your table might be near ours, we could all catch up 'cause the organizer put us next to Fall Out Boy and All Time Low's right beside them." Since Brendon seemed like he would be more than glad to keep chatting with me I felt pretty bad as I remembered that it'd been him who delayed me and I still needed to get out of here.

"I'm sorry, Brendon, but I need to get going. It's starting to get late and I need to get Summer to bed or she's going to be an absolute handful otherwise." I smiled apologetically but he didn't seem bothered by the news.

"Na, that's fine. Tell you what, once we're all free I'll put a party on and everyone can catch up. Sound good?" I couldn't resist grinning at his suggestion. Chatting with Brendon was kinda like getting home after work and watching your favorite show on tv, it was relaxing and fun but if you weren't careful you could lose time easily. "I'll get everyone, Fall Out Boy can come over, I'll introduce you to Gabe, Jack, Tyler and Josh..." Brendon suddenly stopped talking then looked down. "Wait, where did Sunny go?"

I looked beside me where a moment ago Summer had been standing, playing with my bracelets and rings, now she was gone and when I looked up I could see nothing but a crowd of musicians in the now packed after party. There's people everyone, at least six hundred and I could feel my heart beating hard and fast in my stomach.

"Holy shit, no. She's gone, oh fuck! She was here and she's fucking gone, I've lost her! I've lost fucking Summer, I lost my kid!" It seemed to take Brendon a second longer to realize the repercussions of a three year old freely running about a rock band after party and once he had his eyes went wide.

"Whoa, whoa. Uh, don't worry about it. There's a bunch of people I know here, I'll call them and tell them to keep an eye out for her. You start, looking, I'll look. She'll be fine. Nobody here is gonna hurt a little kid or watch one get hurt." As soon as Brendon started talking he'd already pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing a number. "Places like this have tight security and a bunch of coordinators and some managers. They've probably already found her."

"Thank you, Brendon. Just give everyone my number so they can call me if they have to. I'm gonna try looking for her." He'd started hurriedly talking into the cell and was only able to give me a nod in return as I pulled my shoes from my feet and hurried through the crowd, calling out Sunny's name as loud as I dared. "Sunny, Sunny!"

I'm a horrible parent, I've lost my child, I'm the parent that loses their kid because they're too busy to pay attention to what they're doing.

I was imagining every worst thing possible. Pedophiles in white vans, candy with razorblades in it, alcohol, violent dancers, hot water, goddamn fucking peanuts and other things I didn't know if she was allergic to. Any bad thing I knew could happen to a child was racing through my head as I pushed past people, shoes in hand so I wasn't slowed down.

No, Brendon said he was going to spread the world, someone's gonna spot her. How can somebody not see a red haired three year old running through a party, it's not exactly considered normal. Someone's gonna notice her, she'll be safe and oh my God this place has a lake. What happens if she falls in the lake? I haven't given her swimming lessons and what if she falls into the water and she can't get out? She's going to drown, my little girl, going to drown and I'll be the only one to blame.

"Sunny, Sunny!"

Although it seemed like it would be the smartest thing to do in this situation I had no fucking idea how on earth I was supposed to guess where she would be. I'd never been to this place before or any kind of event like it, I'd ended up lost while trying to get out of here? How was I going to find someone as small and quiet as Sunny in a place as big as this with hundreds of people? She could be hiding under a table for all I know.

"Summer, where are you?!" People were starting to look at me more and more but I couldn't have cared less if I tried, they hadn't just lost their three year old (probably because they'd be more responsible than me) and they had no idea what was going through my head right now. "Summer, this isn't a game!" While I was trying to not sound panicked in case she was around, could hear me and was freaked out by my voice it was still hard to sound even remotely put together.

I don't know what I'd rather do first, sob and collapse on the ground or collapse on the ground then sob. Either way they wouldn't have been productive and they wouldn't have helped me find my daughter so in spite of my internal terror I swallowed it back and was about to get on a table and start yelling when I could feel my phone buzzing in the pocket of my dress and I pulled it out, nearly dropping it in my attempt to hurriedly answer.

"Brendon, please tell me you know where she is." It wasn't until I tried to talk calmly that I really realized how close I was to breaking down. I couldn't emotionally handle losing my little girl, not here, not now, not ever.

'This isn't Brendon, it's Alex from All Time Low. He said to call you if anyone saw anything. Listen I just heard someone talking about a kid near the mini stage, so you should probably head over there if you want to find her.' I almost felt ready to breathe out a sigh of relief at the news but I hadn't found her yet and no relief was going to be leaving my body until I had Summer in my arms and on my hip. As soon as I find her I'm officially never letting her out of my sight again.

"Thank you, Alex. Thank you so much, that really helps."

'It's no problem, if I hear anything or see anything I'll call you. Worst case scenario the Red Radio Awards makes a headline because some photog got a killer shot of a hundred band dudes chasing a toddler through a party.' As much as I'm sure he meant for that to be reassuring, it wasn't. If anything else I felt my heart beating even faster out of terror over the thought.

"I'll-I'll keep that in mind. I have to go now, thanks again." He replied once again with 'no problem' before I hung up and pocketed my phone, taking off in the direction I could hear music coming from.

Of course Sunny would head towards the stage, she loved music. It would make sense for her to try to watch the people playing it and that'd be perfectly fine if not for the fact she was three and there were people around her that could probably squash someone as small as her to death. Hell I've nearly been crushed by a crowd before and at the time I was a teenager who knew how to hold her own ground, we're talking about a sweet, easygoing kid who's never seen this many people in her life. I didn't even think she'd be capable of running off into a crowd this big and dense.

I had to ask people to point me in the right direction every few seconds (basically whenever I lost my bearings) and as soon as I'd asked where the stage was I asked them if they'd seen a little girl with bright red hair, big eyes and a blue dress. Unfortunately as easy as it was for them to point me in the right direction not a one of them had seen Summer and more and more fear and adrenaline pumped into my veins with each head shake from the famous faces.

I can't believe that I actually let this happen, I was distracted for such a little amount of time and she was gone without a trace. She hadn't even left her stuffed turtle, that was gone too.

My phone rang again and I retrieved it nearly as fast as I had last time, now taking a second to glance at the screen before answering. "Brendon, Alex called and said he heard somebody talking about a child near the stage but I was thinking, nobody could have taken her, right? Someone hasn't just picked her up while I wasn't looking and walked away with her have they?" I'd started talking before he could have even possibly squeezed award at and didn't stop until he said 'whoa' for about the fifth time.

'Nobody would have taken her, child kidnappers don't attend music awards and security would have definitely noticed if someone tried to leave with a toddler out of the blue. Don't forget that you're her mother and you act like her mother, she'd kick up a huge fuss if anyone but you tried to make her go anywhere.' I'd certainly like to hope so, I tried to do my best to teach her about the danger of talking to strangers when she wasn't with me but she was still little and (unlike me) nice to a fault. 'Back to what I called for. I've gone around and security knows there's a girl missing, I told them what she looks like and if she tries to get out or someone tries to go somewhere with her they'll stop them or her and keep her safe until you can come and get her so you've got one less worry on that front.'

"I'm so sorry I've made you spend the after party looking for Summer. This probably wasn't the way you had your night planned out was it? You should be with Sarah, drinking champagne and making jokes with your friends." On top of the panic for my daughter I felt sick to my stomach with guilt for all the hassle I was causing him and everyone else he'd called to keep an eye out. I would have considered Brendon a friend but he'd gone well out of his way to help me even when he was by no means obligated to.

I was getting even closer to the raised marquee where the stage was. The music was so loud now that I could barely hear Brendon on the other end and I blocked one ear to hear him better as he replied.

'Actually Sarah's helping me look for her and it's nice to know I'm helping. It's no skin off my nose. Not to mention she'd kill me if I refused to help you but it's like eighty percent out because I want to help and fifteen percent practice for myself when I lose my own one day. Only about five percent is fear of my wife, you know, for this particular situation. I'm not counting how much she usually scares me...' His casual prattling was enough to keep the more vital part of my mind calm as it got harder for me to make my away around everyone and the worry that I might not be able to reach the stage to look for Sunny built inside me.

As Brendon continued to talk about how terrified he was of Sarah I pushed my way out of the crowd I'd been trying to get to the other side of for the past few minutes and suddenly came to a standstill when I saw the white marquee in front of me. Sure enough the stage was there but that hadn't been what made me stop.

"Brendon," I said his name almost blankly into the phone and cut the singer off mid-sentence. The shock in my voice making him shut up and immediately pay attention to whatever I might have to say.

'What? What's going on?' He asked and I could hear Sarah beside him asking nearly the same question with just a dash more panic and worry.

"Call everyone, tell them it's okay. I've found her, she's fine. I've gotta go. Thanks again." He didn't deserve the way I so suddenly hung up on him but I couldn't have stood there and continued the conversation with the thing I'd ever expected to see being rubbed right in front of my face.

There he was, in his black suit, tie and polished shoes, sitting cross-legged on the green grass. His back was against one of the marquees support poles and he didn't seem to be even remotely interested in the music playing or the dancing happening on the mini floor in front of the stage. All of this was because he had a bright, happy smile on his face and sitting on his knee, talking animatedly and loudly, waving her stuffed turtle around was my grinning little girl Summer...
Talking to Gerard.

Notes