F*ck and Run

There had absolutely been a cut on Gerard’s cheek when Frank had come over. Frank was sure of it. They had even talked about it. Gerard had said he scratched his face while hiking at night… which made less sense the more Frank thought about it. Frank had never heard of anyone ever hiking at night. He felt stupid for buying it.
Frank tried to rationalize the wound’s disappearance to himself in his mind as the train continued along the tracks towards. He stared out the window into the darkness of the subway tunnel. His reflection was a faint, wilted outline against the glass.
It wasn’t impossible to suggest that Frank had misremembered which side of Gerard’s face the cut had been on. But when he pictured Gerard’s face on that street corner, he couldn’t visualize any cuts.
Though the more he thought about it, the less sure he was. The cut could’ve been there the whole time and Frank could’ve been too distracted by the nerves brought on by kissing Gerard goodbye to remember it.
But he would’ve felt the scab under his lips. He would have.

The more Frank had to reassure himself that he wasn’t going crazy, the crazier he felt.
He stepped off the train and onto the dim platform. He glanced at the empty train tracks and thought he might have seen something in the shadows. Fear curled in his stomach as he walked the length of the platform and up the stairs into the frigid night.
The movie he had watched at Gerard’s place left him easily frightened. He found himself doing a double take at every shifting shadow. He glanced timidly over his shoulder every couple of paces. He forgot about Gerard’s disappearing injuries entirely when a piece crumpled of newspaper blowing in the wind slid into his line of vision on the sidewalk in front of him, making him squeak in surprise.
He glanced around, sighing when he confirmed that no one had seen him frightened by a piece of newspaper.
He was only a few blocks from his apartment, but it suddenly felt like he was miles and miles away. Anyone or anything could snatch him up between the street corner he stood on and the front door to his apartment building. He couldn’t wait to lock himself away in the safety of his apartment. Not that a locked door would keep ancient evil curses out.
Frank ducked into a corner store about a block away from his apartment. The store was warm and pleasantly populated. He felt less afraid as he paced the aisles, trying to remember if there was anything he needed to pick up. He picked out some cheap beer and a box of herbal tea, knowing both of those things to have calmed him in the past.
He paid for his groceries and left the store... feeling dread wash over him the second he remembered how alone he was on the dark street. He felt like he was being followed, but with someone else up ahead waiting to jump out and attack him. If anyone asked, his quickening pace had nothing to do with the prospect of a ghost swallowing him.
He somehow made it the rest of the way to his apartment in one piece, making a point to double-check that he had locked all the locks before cracking open a beer. He guzzled the fowl, carbonated liquid as he went through the apartment, turning all the lights on. Ghosts couldn’t hide in the shadows if there weren’t any shadows to hide in.
He jumped every time the floorboards creaked under the weight of his neighbors on the level above his. He twitched at every tiny noise he heard. He let out a yelp when water came rushing through a pipe in the wall beside him.
After that, Frank put on music. It did very little to ease his nerves. He cracked another beer and made himself a cup of tea, eyeing the pantry in the kitchen suspiciously as he waited for the tea water to boil. The light in the pantry had burned out and Frank reasoned that if a ghost were hiding in his apartment, the ghost would hide there. In the dark.

Frank curled up in bed with his beer and his tea and turned on the TV. The voices of the actors in the commercial on the screen calmed him a little but he still felt alone and afraid. He hated feeling so spooked. It was moments like these that he wished the landlord didn’t have such a strict no-pet policy. He remembered ghosts being afraid of cats.

He knew his fear was irrational but the thought did little to comfort him.
He took another sip of his beer and changed the channel.
~


Gerard sat in his apartment across town, curled up in a little ball on the couch. His whole apartment smelled like Frank, but the spot on the couch where Frank had been sitting smelled especially like Frank.
He knew it was his fault that Frank had left.
He couldn’t focus on the movie he had put on because he kept wondering how soon he was allowed to call Frank. He thought about calling Frank to make sure he’d gotten home okay but he wasn’t sure how Frank would interpret it.
This was why Gerard hated getting involved with people.
He thought about calling Mikey and asking for advice but that would mean admitting how lost he was.
Instead, he resolved to sit there, vacantly staring between the TV screen and his phone, while breathing in Frank’s scent for as long as it would linger.

He woke with a start to the sound of his phone ringing.
He blinked a few times in drowsy confusion before checking the screen.
Frank was calling him. He glanced up at the clock. It was close to midnight.
He quickly accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear.
“Hello?” He croaked.
“Gerard.” Frank breathed. “I was just calling to say um… fuck you.”
“What?” Gerard asked, not sure if he was hearing right.
“Why did you have to pick such a scary movie?” Frank asked.
“Huh?” Gerard huffed, brain still fuzzy with sleep.
“That fucking movie.” Frank hissed. “This is all your fault.”
A smile spread across his lips as he realized Frank wasn't annoyed, he was scared.
“I only picked it because you said you like ghost stories.” Gerard pointed out.
“I do like ghost stories!” Frank argued, “That wasn’t a fucking ghost story. That was… like, something out of my nightmares. I don’t know!”
“I’m… sorry?” Gerard said softly, trying not to laugh.
“I’m like, too afraid to sleep and I have work in the morning.” Frank whimpered. “This is all your fault!”
“How can I fix it?” Gerard asked.
“Fucking… talk to me. Until I fall asleep.” Frank said. “That’s your punishment.”
“Okay… well…” Gerard faltered, “You know ghosts aren’t real so... just try to relax.” Gerard said, curling up into a more comfortable position on the couch.
“You mean you don’t believe in ghosts?” Frank asked.
“No? Do you?” Gerard asked.
“Of course I do!” Frank said, voice rising in pitch.
“Huh.” Gerard huffed. He sucked at helping people when they were upset. He had always sucked at it. He was at a total loss for comforting words.
“I can’t believe you don’t believe in ghosts.” Frank said.
“I mean. I don’t believe in ghosts in the traditional sense… I don’t believe souls get trapped in our plane of existence when they are vacating the body. There’s actually a lot of simple scientific explanations for what most people describe as paranormal experiences.”
“That’s... oddly comforting.” Frank said softly.
“It just seems unlikely that a curse like that would exist. Even a ghost in the way you conceptualize is nothing more than energy in it’s rawest form. Such energy could never hurt you, Frank. Besides… even if it could, what makes you think a malicious ghost would want you specifically?”
“Stop… making sense.” Frank mumbled.
“See? You’ll be okay.” Gerard said encouragingly.
“Yeah. Not even a ghost could want me.” Frank agreed.
“That’s not what I-”
“I’m joking… sort of.” Frank interrupted. “I didn’t realize you get so nerdy about paranormal shit... Do you have explanations for other creatures?”
“Like… what else do you believe in?” Gerard asked timidly.
“Aliens, maybe? I’m starting to suspect healing powers... And vampires kind of make sense from an evolutionary standpoint. But I think I just really want them to exist. Same with werewolves… I love dogs so-”
“Yeah. Mikey had mentioned you like dogs.” Gerard spoke over Frank, ungracefully attempting to change the subject.
“I’d get one if my building allowed it.” Frank said sadly. “They have a no-dog policy. The city’s no place for a dog anyways. I probably wouldn’t be so scared if I had a dog right now though. Wouldn’t have had to call you.” He let out a short breathy laugh.
“You’re still scared?” Gerard asked. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
“Is it lame if I say ‘yes’?” Frank asked softly. “I mean… even with everything you said. It makes sense but it doesn’t make the shadows look any less shifty and menacing. And I’m not even tired now and…” He trailed off.
“Look um, don’t take this the wrong way…” Gerard started, swallowing hard. “But do you want me to like... come over?”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Frank said, almost inaudibly.
“Yeah… um. Sorry. It was stupid to suggest.” Gerard said.
“Well… I should probably go.” Frank said.
Gerard tried to hold back a sigh but it came out anyways.

Frank kept acting like he wanted Gerard… If Frank could’ve seen the way he’d looked at Gerard as he was leaning up against the turntable listening to Gerard’s Smiths record. Frank wanted Gerard. There was no doubt in Gerard’s mind.
But Frank had changed his mind at the last second.
He hadn’t been so hesitant that night before the moon. Gerard knew he’d fucked up by not calling Frank. He’d fucked up by not remembering Frank. But Frank had called him. Wasn’t asking to see Frank, even though it was the middle of the night, the natural progression of things?

“Yeah. I… I hope you get some sleep.” Gerard said, suddenly noticing he had been hugging one of the throw pillows. He didn’t remember grabbing it.
There was silence from Frank’s end of the call. Gerard pulled the phone from his ear but the call hadn’t dropped yet. He brought it back to his ear. He thought he could hear Frank’s breath.
Frank didn’t want to be the one to hang up first.
Gerard didn’t want to hang up either.
“Frank?”
“Yeah?” Frank sighed.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?” Gerard asked. His heart fluttered. It wasn’t like him to beg. “I know I can’t do much about evil curses but I…” Gerard faltered.
He had no idea what he could offer Frank because he didn’t know what Frank wanted.
“Mmmmmm. Okay.” Frank hummed. “Come over.”
“Wait… really?” Gerard asked.
“Yeah. Don’t make me change my mind.” Frank scoffed.
“Okay. I… I’ll leave right now. You want me to pick anything up on the way?” Gerard asked.
“Mmmmm… no.” Frank said thoughtfully.
“Okay. Text me your address?” Gerard said.
“Sure.” Frank sighed.
“I’ll see you soon.” Gerard said.
“You’re actually coming over right now?” Frank asked incredulously.
“Yeah?” Gerard replied.
“Looks like I’ve been swallowed by a curse after all.” Frank sighed. “I’ll text you. See ya.”
Gerard opened his mouth to say more but Frank dropped the call.

Gerard found it almost funny that Frank considered Gerard to be something of a curse.
Frank clearly knew nothing of actual curses.

Notes

this is the only fic i don't have writers block on. what is life?

-m