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See it in his eyes

Chapter 49

Frank’s POV

It was two months before we were going home to take a break before writing what later became the black parade.

“Frank?” Ray spoke in the door way.

“Hm?” I looked up from the comic book that Gerard had leant me years ago, it was a little piece of him that was still mine.

“We are going to denies to get a veggie burger,” Ray began; you could see the somber look in his eyes, would you please join us?”

“No,” I said bluntly, “I’ll stay here, besides don’t you guys get sick of those things you have at least two a week.” I looked back to Gerard who was standing in the back awkwardly. He met my gaze but his eyes quickly flicked away.

“Frank Iero, get off your lazy ass and come with us! You are nothing but bones! Goddamnit!” Mikey shouted at me.

“I don’t care Mikey, you guys can just go,” I turned on my side facing the back of the couch.

“Suit yourself,” Mikey shook his head, and they just left.

As soon as they left I rushed to the window to watch them leave, just like always. I would rush to the window to see if Gerard turns around, then when he doesn’t, I go back to my bunk and cry silently to myself. But today, it was different. I stood at the window waiting, the guys escaped my view and I went to sit on the couch and cried. I cried, not silently, but loudly and pathetically. I hadn’t realized how much it all hurt; it hurt to feel so alone, so abandoned by my Gerard. He was sober now, and I wasn’t there to enjoy the real him, the real him that I fell in love with. I sat there blubbering to myself for maybe five minutes when Gerard came in. I bolted off the couch biting my tongue trying to get a hold of myself as I wiped my eyes trying to clear my face of tears, hunched over the counter. A light whimper continued to escape my lips.

“What do you want?” I muttered quietly hoping to disguise how hard I had been crying. I quickly wiped my eyes a second time trying to rid all evidence from my face. I turned around to face him.

“To talk is all,” Gerard had his hands in his pockets looking at me.

“What is there to say,” I crossed my arms.

“A lot of things,” Gerard walked closer, “Frank I know you sit in here and cry every time we leave. When we come back your eyes are always puffy, he touched my face.” I smacked his hand away in anger.

“Then why the hell haven’t you don anything about it?! You let me sit here and feel bad for myself, you let me sit here, thinking you don’t give a single fuck about me? And you’re just okay with that?! Am I right? Am I nothing to you? Gerard I don’t understand! Am I nothing to you? Tell me, tell me know it’s the only way I will ever start to heal.”

“Frank….” Gerard began, “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like, what lame ass excuse do you have for me?” I bit my lip shaking my head trying to hold back the tears. “And it better be good.”

“I don’t have one, not at all. There is not one single excuse for what I did. But there’s one reason why I haven’t come back, I was afraid to face you. I was afraid to face the pain. Look I’m ashamed of what I did. But I’m proud of the change I’ve made Frank. It’s been two months since I’ve had a single drink, I haven’t seen Bert without the guys there since that night. Frank I’m done, I’m moving on, I’m moving up and I’m growing up. Ya know, sometimes I think you have to sort of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and become a new person. And I really am a new person, Frank, I’ve changed! I’ve really changed!” He grabbed my shoulders, “Everything is different now, I feel like colors are sharper, sounds are clearer, Frank I feel alive. It was hard Frank but I did this for you, I regret what I’ve done. IO hate myself over the pain I’ve caused you. But I’m trying to be a better man, to become a better boyfriend if you ever let me be. I’m trying to get better for you. Frank I’m sorry for what I’ve done I really am. I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did. Infact I personally don’t think you should. But it would mean the world to me if you were to forgive me. Frank, if it wsan’t for you and this band I would’ve been dead years ago, I wouldn’t be sober right now. And for that I’m truly thankful. And I owe it all to you guys, especially you frank.”

“I might forgive you but it won’t be immediately.”

“Atleast come outside with us, leave this damn bus for once,” Gerard looked around.

“no, not tonight,” I shook my head, can we stay here and watch a movie?” I asked hopefully.

“Sure, I don’t think I’m exactly in the position to object.” Gerard closed his eyes and let out a somber chuckle as he made some popcorn.

“Damn right you’re not.”

He was sorry, you could hear it in his voice, see it in his eyes, he was sincerely sorry.


yaaaaa i don't wanna say i like this one.... but i like this one..... *Bad poker face*


I fucking love this so fucking much.
I love how you added real interviews, and real events, and dates,
and ugh, I just fucking love this so fucking much,
I spent my whole day reading this.
You made it sound like it is in fact what happened, if not somewhat close to what actually happen.
---sorry for the weridness, I just freaking love this.
MsCorrupterSOH MsCorrupterSOH
I just used up my entire day to read this entire story because its just so awesome :D
I really wish you could make a sequel (or maybe a short-story/epilogue type of thing?) I would love to see what happened with Lynz and Jamia. Oh, and also, I didn't get the ending. Are Gee and Frank together or not? Did they even get back together after trying to rebuild their friendship? Amazing story, I really loved the ending~
-xoxo Dani
@Hollow Point Smile
Thank you so much :3
jkjames jkjames

Haha :3 no worries! I love me some good mcr fics and this one is deffinaltey up there ^.^
@Hollow Point Smile
that was so fast. thank you so much! So many people are commenting that they like it and it's making me wanna leap off the computer and go hide away in my room and write. Thank you so much. I really hope I don't disapoint you and i really hope you keep reading! I'd love to hear more feedback from all these undercover fans! thank you so much.

@Hollow Point Smile
jkjames jkjames