Gerard’s POV
Knowing I was probably going to lose Elena, was a weight on my shoulders I didn’t really want to handle. It was a lot for me to think about an grasp. Not was I particularly fond of the idea of my grandmother dying. I had so many good memories with this woman, she had been a solid figure in my life as a child. When my parents were on business trips we stayed at her house, drank hot chocolate, which later evolved into coffee, played hide and seek, which later evolved into me telling her about my problems at school. Just like every teenager does I drifted from her, thought I was too cool for her, but when she came and found me on the side of the street knocked out cold from my drinking, she brought me home, she gave me a place to stay that night. Wasn't angry for a moment. That's when I reconnected with Elena. Something that had become very clear to me is that Elena was there for me. She didnt tell my parents but nurtured me through my phase.

Although I don't think it was all Elena, when we started the band, it pulled me out of my depression and grams knew that. She helped us get off our feet by purchasing our first tour van. She helped us get on our feet, if we hadn't been able to your I don't think the band would have taken off so quickly. Elena meant a lot to all of us, the loss was bound to be devastating.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't even really wanna go be with her. All I really wanted to do was drink or be with frank. Most of the time, I drank before I was with frank. If I was drunk with frank, it usually ended in an argument.
I miss being sober. But being drunk? It feels so much better than the real world.

Notes

I'm so sorry the updates are so few and far between. And those of you who are actually reading i really do appreciate it! I swear i plan to finish!!