If You Stay....

I sat in the hospital waiting room, nervously fiddling with my hands as I glanced up and down the corridor, watching Nurses quickly walk from one place to another; assisting old women or carrying medical supplies that looked like implements of torture. I shouldn’t be here I thought uneasily, beginning to bite my nails.

Gerard glanced over at me, rolling his eyes as he continued to read his copy of Metal Hammer. “You really shouldn’t do that” He moaned, shaking his head as he flicked through the pages. I stopped immediately, flashing him a look. “What are you my mother?” I said, raising an eyebrow at him. We both looked at each other, a huge smile forming on our faces before we burst into laughter. I rested my head on Gerard’s shoulder, wiping away the tears before the laughter quickly died down. A moment of silence hung in the air as he we stared out onto the ward, as if it suddenly hit us why we were here. “Have you told Ray yet?” Gerard asked finally, breaking the silence. I shook my head, there was no way Ray could be the father and the fewer people who knew about this the better. He turned to face me, holding me by the shoulders as he stared into my eyes, a serious look fading onto his face.

“Frank... am I the father?” He asked sternly, not taking his eyes off mine as he spoke. My eyes shot down to the floor, swallowing hard as I struggled to form an answer. “You might be” I said simply, not wanting to go into the ins and outs of my sex life. We had had sex so many times before that night that maybe this was his baby. But what if it wasn’t? Where would it leave us then? “Remember that party we went to a few months back? Did we... you know?” I asked, feeling my cheeks grow red. I hated doing this, it was so embarrassing. Gerard let go of my shoulders, sighing as he moved his body away from me, staring back out onto the ward with sad eyes; as though he had done something he sourly regretted. “I can’t remember. The only thing I can really remember about that night was the fight we had” He said quietly, refusing to meet my gaze.

I opened my mouth to speak, hoping he would tell me about the fight we had. I couldn’t remember it at all, he seemed fine when I came down the next day- maybe it was him after all. Suddenly the nurse came in, holding a clipboard in her hand as she offered me and Gerard a warm smile. “Mr Iero, Dr Jessop will see you now” She said cheerily, holding the door open as we walked inside. We sat down opposite the desk, exchanging polite greetings with the doctor as we did. “I see you decided to continue with the pregnancy” Dr Jessop said, linking his hands together as he spoke. I nodded. “It’s still my kid and as long as I have the support I need, I know everything will be ok” I said, smiling at Gerard who then held my hand. The Doctor nodded. “Well, now that everything’s in order, why don’t you lie down on the bed and we’ll examine you” he replied, gesturing over to the large white bed in the corner of the room.

I jumped onto the table, pulling up my shirt as I stared up at the ceiling, my heart pounding in my chest as the doctor began to perform a scan. “Don’t look so nervous” Gerard said, kissing my hand as both our eyes fell upon the screen. Tears welled in my eyes as, out of the darkness on the screen, a small, human shaped figure suddenly moved onto the screen. I squeezed Gerard’s hand, unable to take my eyes of the baby, my baby. I had never felt so happy in my life. “According to the scan, your baby is about 12 weeks; however, due to your biology being made up differently to women’s, you will begin to show sooner and your pregnancy will last up until 8 rather than 9 months” The doctor explained, taking off his gloves and printing off a picture. “What about when he actually has the baby?” Gerard asked, placing an arm around me. “Well, because of his gender, he will have to undergo a caesarean section” He said bluntly, handing me a picture and watching my tearful, happy face light up. This was it. This was really happening. I was so happy I didn’t make a stupid mistake.

*****

Mikey’s POV

“Ray, just leave it” I cried, running a hand irritably through my hair as I paced up and down the room. I couldn’t believe Frank had taken Gerard instead of me, I was the one who had supported him through all of this and now that my brother had come around to the idea he dropped me like a stone. It wasn’t fair; it felt like all my support, all my time was wasted. “You have no idea what he’s like! All he does is use people time and time again. I mean look at what he’s doing now! Worming his way back in with Frank even after he’s gotten engaged with Lindsey! I can’t let that happen again, not this time” I cried, pounding my hand against my chest. Ray said nothing, sitting in the arm chair in the corner of the room; he continued to stare at me; a thin smile slowly forming on his face. “You still have feelings for him don’t you?” he said smugly, folding his arms against his chest as he crossed his legs.

I said nothing, slumping onto the sofa I stared at him in disbelief. Of course I didn’t have feelings for him. All of that was years ago, I was past all of that. Besides, he had always chosen Gerard over me, in every situation... just like today. “I...this isn’t about me okay I just don’t want to see him get hurt again. My brother does this all the time!” I cried. Ray’s face didn’t change; he continued to stare at me, like he was sussing me out. Why did I tell him everything? He only used it against me and made himself seem right all the time.

“Look, I know you Mikey and I know how you feel about him. I don’t know why you can’t just talk to him” Ray said reassuringly, rising up from his chair and moving to sit beside me as I sat with my head in my hands. “He wouldn’t ever feel that way about me” I replied miserably, dragging my hands down my face. Ray laughed, shaking his head. “Remember that party we went to a couple months back? All he did was talk about how much better you were than Gerard; he even said he wished he had picked you instead of him.” Ray said, placing an arm around my shoulders.

I glanced over to him; a hopeful smile perched upon my face as my eyes lit up. Frank really said that? I couldn’t believe it. Maybe there was a chance for us after all. “Really?” I asked, still unable to take in what I had just heard.

Ray smiled, nodding as he spoke. “Yeah, of course; all he did was talk about you. What else do you think we did in your room?”

Notes

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