If You Stay....

I slammed the phone down, pressing my head against the wall as I clenched my fists. He was unbelievable, how could he just spring something like that on me? Men weren’t supposed to have children, it just wasn’t possible. I cared about Frank, he meant the world to me, but this was too much to deal with. It was just.... wrong.

I turned around to find Lindsey standing in the doorway, her arms folded against her chest with an angry expression on her face. “Who was that?” She asked irritably, her eyes narrowing, studying me as I nervously rubbed the back of my head. I knew I should have kept my voice down, she had obviously heard me. “It’s nothing Linds, just leave it” I groaned, moving past her and into the living room; sitting down on the sofa as I held my head in my hands, I really couldn’t deal with her right now.

She stood in front of me, placing her hands on her hips. “What’s your problem Gee?Do you actually think its ok to talk to people like that?” She asked, clearly annoyed with what she had heard. I dragged my hands down my face, looking up at her. I loved her, god knows I did, but when she got like this, all patronising and self righteous, it really pissed me off. She didn’t have a clue. “Lindsey you don’t know what’s....” she shook her head, “I don’t care what your excuses are, Frank’s your friend and he clearly needed your help. I want you to go over there and apologise” She yelled, beckoning at the door. I stared at her, apologise for what? How would she react if she found out someone she had slept with called her up and told her they was pregnant? I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t go around there to “apologise” for her actions.

“NOW, I don’t even want to look at you until you’ve sorted it out. I’m so disgusted with you” She cried, her arm still beckoning towards the door. I groaned, slowly rising to my feet, rolling my eyes as I trudged out of our apartment, refusing to look at her as I left. Nagging bitch I thought bitterly as I sat in my car, turning the keys in the ignition as I began to make my way over to Frank’s.

*****
I drove down the bypass, the rain pouring down outside as Slayers Raining Blood shrieked from the speakers. As I got closer to Frank’s house, I couldn’t help but feel a rising guilt begin to fester inside my chest. I hated to admit it, but Lindsey was right, I shouldn’t have spoken to Frank like that. He needed me, now more than ever, and I just made him feel like a freak.
I turned left, heading down Mayflower Road towards Frank’s apartment, the feeling growing stronger as I pulled into the parking lot outside. I bashed my head against the steering wheel, cursing at myself. This was so fucked up! I knew this was a mistake right from the start but I just couldn’t help myself. We had been secretly sleeping together for months, meeting up round his for midnight hook ups or sneaking around after band practice. Of course I wanted it to become more than that but things got in the way; I mean I couldn’t just leave Lindsey; we had been together for years. But Frank was my best friend, the man I felt safest with, who made me feel special, the man I had fallen for. But everything was different now. I still couldn’t understand how this had happened; I mean what if the kid was mine? I wasn’t ready to become a father.
I climbed out of the car, the heavy rain soaking my skin as I shoved my hands into my pockets. Lindsey was right, I needed to apologise. This could be my baby and I needed to grow up; he needed my support more than ever. Silence hung in the air, the only sound coming from my footsteps as I finally reached the door. My hands trembled with suspense as I slowly pushed the door open; something didn’t seem right. The door creaked open as I stepped inside; the house was dark, a chill ran down my spine as I silently prayed he would be here.

A whimper suddenly came from the living room. I swiftly walked towards the living room, flicking on the light. My eyes grew wide in shock the chilling sight I was met with stopped me from breathing a sigh of relief, because I could see quite clearly that my initial instinct was right: something bad had definitely happened. “Oh god…” I groaned, running over to Frank, a feeling of panic washing over me. He was sitting slumped against the leather sofa in the corner of the room; his head hung low as his eyes remained fixed on the floor, not daring to look at me as I came closer. I froze, my eyes focusing on the empty bottle of vodka on the floor beside him; my heart sank straight into my stomach. What the hell was he doing?

“Frank?” I said tentatively, gently shaking his arm as I tried to get a proper look at him. What the hell had he done to himself? Frank slowly raised her head, locking eyes with me. I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. Fear coursed through my veins as I stared into his eyes, the once familiar warm light that usually shone from his dark, beautiful eyes was gone, leaving them looking cold and lifeless. But the thing that frightened me the most was how bloodshot his eyes were; In all the years I had known him he had never once done this to himself.

“What the fuck is going on?” I asked fearfully, almost dreading the answer. Frank remained silent, a crooked smile quickly forming on his face. I reached out, wrapping my fingers firmly around the bottle and throwing it away from him, a mixture of fear and anger building up inside me. “Frank, why the fuck have you been drinking.... I thought you were...?” I whispered in horror, tears stinging in his eyes as I cupped his pallid face, struggled to remain calm.

Guilt quickly clouded around my heart. This was my fault. If only I hadn’t of reacted like that. If only I hadn’t acted like such a child. I loved Frank, more than I could possibly imagine, if I had just offered him some support, made him feel better about the situation then maybe he wouldn’t have tried to do this to himself. My worried eyes connected with his lifeless ones again, begging him for an answer that he seemed reluctant to tell me. Frank sighed. “I didn’t drink it. I couldn’t. You were right though, I am a freak. I’m a disgusting, horrible freak” He said, his voice growing louder and more unstable as he continued to speak. He burst into tears, covering his face with his hands as he broke down. I held him close, wrapping my arms around him. “Stop it, ok I was being an arse hole and I’m sorry. It’s just... it was a shock and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you” I said interrupting him before he could blame himself anymore than was he already was. “Oh come on Gerard look at me, I’m horrific!” He cried, staring at me with tear stained eyes. I cupped his face, forcing him to look me in the eye. “Listen...Listen to me! You are the most beautiful human being I have ever met” I said sternly, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

He began to calm down, his body trembling in my arms as a thin smile crept upon his face. I slowly leaned in, pressing my lips against his. Frank moved closer, taking me in his arms as he kissed me back. My heart skipped a beat as I looked into the eyes of the man before me; those sweet, innocent eyes. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing except for him. Frank pulled away, staring at me with shock for a moment before we broke into a girlish giggle. I rested my forehead against Frank’s as he cupped my face with his hands; a warm smile spreading across his face as he kissed me tenderly on the lips.

Notes

I know its not in Frank's POV but I struggled to write the next chapter so.... sorry guys

Let me know what you think/ what will happen next?

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