“Gerard,” I heard Mom’s voice, with its whimsical sighing tone, coaxing me out of sleep. I looked up and saw her peeked over the edge of my door. “It’s five o’clock.”

I looked over to the clock, she was right. “Oh I’m sorry, Ma.” I rubbed my eyes and threw my feet over the edge of my bed, forcing myself to stand.

“It’s okay, baby. I just wanted to tell you that dinner is ready and see if you were up to getting it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let me change and I’ll be down in a minute,” I scrambled around trying to grab at something that was better than pajamas.

When I was dressed, I came down the stairs in a hurry and saw them all sitting there already. I mumbled an apology as I took my seat across from you. I dared myself to flick my eyes up at you and I saw you trying your hardest not to look at me. I pursed my lips and took a sip of the water placed perfectly to my right. No ice, just how I like it.

“Thank you, Mikey, for setting the table,” Mom’s voice sounded singsong in the chiming of metal utensils.

“No prob,” you shrugged, leaving me to wonder if you knew I was thinking about the water glass.

“So you excited for your last day of school, tomorrow?” Dad asked you before taking a chunk of meat from his fork. I listened impatiently while you thought through the answer.

“I guess. Happy to be out for a couple months,” I heard the shrug you expelled.

“What about you, Gerard. Happy for summer to be here? Got any plans?” I could tell by his tone that he felt like he had to ask me. He had to be symmetrical about it.

“Sure, I might try to go get a job,” I had thought about the idea. I wasn’t quite sure what I could do, but getting out of the house was a must if it meant you were gonna be here all the time.

“I think that’s a great idea, Gerard,” Mom piped in.

I took a deep breath before taking another glance up at you. You were looking off in the distance with your pink lips pursed in thought. I wondered what there was to think over.

I didn’t look up at you again all dinner and when Mom asked me to clean up the dishes, you went to your room. I tried to go online and look at some jobs I could apply for. I printed out a list of clothing stores and restaurants, but at the end of the list read a psychiatrist’s office. I wasn’t sure why that appealed me at the last minute, but I printed out the information just in case. Actually, I know why it appealed to me. It was a little taste of Reynard’s close to home. Something inside me told me that going there would bring me back and stop the constant anxiety in heart.

That constant anxiety might have had something to do with the fact that my parents were now perfectly capable of enforcing the medication for my nightmares now. The idea of that seemed so terrifying. It made my parents into the one person I dreaded, Dr. Klause. As much as I looked for the steadfast tradition of Reynard’s, one thing I couldn’t bear return to was that palatial office.

But I couldn’t let my parents do that. I had to stay awake. As soon I was sure you all were asleep, I snuck down to the kitchen to set up my station. I grabbed a pot of coffee, a couple sodas, and a flashlight and went down to the basement. I turned on all the lights and flicked on the TV. I didn’t care what I was watching as long as the plotline was interesting enough to stick to. I had to stay awake. I was so paranoid that they would find out about my dreams. I couldn’t let them find out.