I'm Not Okay

**** three months later****

Seven months along, thirty-one weeks along with my twins; and boy did I feel fat. I was bigger than when I was to term with peanut and I still had another month and a half to go. Currently it is Christmas Eve and peanut is upstairs asleep and Gerard and I are curled up on the sofa watching a Christmas movie together. My back was pressed up against his chest and his hands were on my stomach rubbing where the twins were kicking. There room was all set up with two cribs built by Gerard and Mikey and there was a changing table that was all stocked, all we were missing were some more clothes and car seats, we were putting off on the car seats because we need a new car that can fit all three car seats. (Gerard didn't want to drive a minivan).

Bryce on the other hand was so much bigger, him being nine months old he was a lot more fun to play with, he was using his voice a lot more; although the wasn't using real words yet. Gerard was trying to teach him how to walk, they weren't going anywhere with it but he was still trying.

"Hey baby." Gerard whispered as he rubbed my stomach some more, the twins lightly kicked back. "I have a suprise for you."

"Ooh what is it?" I asked turning a bit to see him.

"You have to wait, it's a two part surprise, you'll get the first one Christmas morning when we open presents and then you can have the second one after we eat dinner."

"That's not fair." I said then stuck my bottom lip out.

"I think you'll like it." He said then kissed me. "Now go to bed, I need to wrap your gift."

"Slacker." I told him, he had to help me up from the sofa, and then I waddled up stairs. Before I went to my room I checked on Bryce, he looked like a little angel sleeping; I smiled and quietly closed the door and went back into my room, I fell asleep within minutes.

****next morning*****

"Baby wake up." Gerard said shaking me, "It’s Christmas! "

"I'm up, I'm up." I said while rubbing my eyes. "Merry Christmas baby." I said and leaned up and kissed him, he kissed me back then smiled at me.

"It's peanuts first Christmas!" He said full of excitement.

"I know, and it will be his last one by himself. Go get him." I said then sat up, the twins were happy because they were kicking me pretty hard, once I began run my hand over my bump, it calmed the babies down and they started to lightly kick me.

"Merry Christmas daddy." Gerard said holding peanut up and putting him on the bed.

"Merry Christmas baby." I said and pulled him close to me and kissed his head.

"So what are we gonna do today? What's the plan?" Gerard asked as he sat on the bed as well.

"Well we can open presents, and then do whatever then have Christmas dinner. When I was younger Id open presents at my mom’s then she'd pack me a lunch and drive me to my dads, when we got there she'd always try to leave but my father would convince her to stay and Id open presents at my father’s house then we'd have Christmas dinner together. What did you do?" I asked.

"Well me and Mikey would have to wait until my parents woke up then we'd all open presents, have breakfast together. Then chill at home as a family, then have Christmas dinner together, then as we got older and when I got married and Mikey had his girlfriends we'd do our own thing but still end up at my parents for Christmas dinner." He said with a sorrowful look on his face.

"Babe you can still go to your parents for dinner if you want." I offered.

"No." He said firmly, "She was extremely rude to you and my son, and she has yet to apologize to you. She rarely calls me yet I've heard she calls Lynz a lot, my dad on the other hand calls a lot to check in on us and Bryce. I kinda miss him."

"Then you should go see him, I don't wanna keep you from seeing your family." I told him as I pulled peanut closer to me.

"Baby you, peanut, and the twins are my family." He said as he came closer to me on the bed. "My parents are just too blind to see that and that's so sad for them because they are missing out on the greatest person I've ever met and then the next two greatest people I'll ever meet." He said then rubbed my belly.

"Aw baby." I said then leaned up to kiss him, "okay now go put him in his Santa outfit and we can go open presents." I said with a smile on my face.

"Sweet." He said then picked up Bryce. Before he left though he helped me out of bed then ran into his son’s room to get him dressed.

I went downstairs and started to make some hot chocolate and cinnamon rolls for breakfast. As I did I was thinking about when I went into labor with Bryce; I was only thirty-two weeks along and now with my twins I’m thirty-one weeks along, I don’t know but something tells me that these two aren’t going to stay to term and I might deliver early. By the time I had finished the food Gerard was coming in the kitchen with Bryce in his little Santa outfit.

“Aww look how cute my baby is!” I said as I got closer to them.

“Thanks babe but I think you should focus on Bryce.” Gerard said, I stuck my tongue out at him before giving him a kiss and taking Bryce out of his arms and giving him a kiss before outing him on the floor; he started to crawl around the kitchen and it was just adorable.

“So I think these two are gonna come earlier than my due date, I was-” I started.

“What?! Are you in labor!? We don’t have a bag yet! Shit I’m gonna call Mikey! It’s a Christmas miracle!” He shouted as he freaked out and started to run around the house.

“Baby! Baby!” I shouted and grabbed his arm to stop him, “I’m not in labor, I’m just saying I have a feeling that they are gonna come before they are supposed to, kinda like Bryce did.” I said then laughed.

“Shit baby you scared the shit out of me.” He said then kissed me.

“Now come on,” I said picking peanut up, “Let’s open presents!”

Notes

I'm sorry for the wait! Well enjoy!

Till next we meet my killjoys