I'm Not Okay

"Well that was a great first Christmas wasn't it Bryce?" I asked him and he played with some new toys that Gerard and I had gotten him. I think we had each given him about ten gifts, plus my mom said she was coming by later with a few more presents and Mikey was gonna bring some as well. So long story short my baby was gonna be spoiled.

"Babe you want the last one?" Gerard asked offering me the last cinnamon roll. I have him a thankful smile and took it and started to nibble on it, it was my sixth one.

"Ready for your surprise?" Gerard asked standing up and helping me out of my seat.

"Yes!" I exclaimed very excited.

He smiled then reached into the tree and pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me. I gave him a confused look but took it and opened it. As I opened it and read the words I’ve been waiting to read for almost a year now, a smile crept on my face.

"Is this what I think it is?" I asked.

"Yup, the final papers for my divorce," he said smiling. "As you see on the last page," he said then turned to the last page for me, "Lynz already signed the papers."

"But you didn't..." I said sadly as I saw the line next to his name was blank.

"I wanted you to be with me when I signed them." He said then pulled out a pen and signed the papers, "I am now a divorced man!" He said then kissed me, "and all yours." He said then hugged me, well tried to, the twins made it kinda hard.

"I love you baby." He said as he came around me to hug me from behind.

"I love you too." I said then turned my head to kiss him. "Okay now go get the Santa hat, I wanna take a few pictures to send to the family and close friends."

"You wanna take pictures? But what about your tummy?" He asked as he rubbed circles on my very large stomach.

"My stomach won't be in the pictures, it's gonna be our upper chests and up. Bryce is gonna be wearing the hat in-between us and he's going to be looking at the camera while we kiss both sides of his cheeks." I explained.

"Aw that's really cute."

"I know." I said as I got out of his hold and started to set up the camera, Gerard just laughed at me but did what he was told and dressed our baby.

What I thought was gonna be a ten minute photo shoot turned into a hour long one because Bryce didn't want to look at the camera or cooperate with us. But instead of giving up and doing something simple like Gerard suggested, my hormones and I kept at it until we had the perfect picture. And by that time peanut was frustrated with me and would be very fussy every time I tried to pick him up. Currently I was carrying him on my hip and trying to make him a bottle of chocolate milk to make peace with him but he was crying and trying to get out of my arms.

"It's his first Christmas and you're making him cry, that's not very nice." I heard someone say from behind me, I turned around and saw Mikey standing in my kitchen leaning on the counter staring at us.

"Take him, please." I said and held Bryce out. Mikey laughed and took him as I finagled making the bottle. As soon as peanut was in Mikey's arms he stopped crying and started playing with his clothes.

"What did you do to him?" Mikey asked as he cuddled with my baby.

"Forced him to take Christmas pictures." I said as I handed Bryce the bottle, he took it and squealed in delight when he tasted it. "See I'm not so bad." I said then kissed his head as he continued to drink.

"Well he's just a crazy baby." Mikey said in a baby voice, "so how are my nieces?" He asked as he balanced Bryce in one arms and used the other to rub the twins.

"Good, they're due sometime in February but I have a feeling they will be coming sooner."

"Parents intuition." He commented then put Bryce on the floor to let him crawl around, "So what are you guys doing tonight?"

"Well nothing for the next few hours, but I'm going to call my dad for a bit then my mom is going to come over for dinner and Gerard said he has a surprise for me but I have to wait until after dinner for it. What about you?"

"I still need to call my parents and then Kristen but nothing so far."

"Why don't you come over for dinner then? We'd love to have you." I offered.

"Sure, thanks!" He said with a smile.

"So where's Kristen?" I asked. As I started to make more food, being pregnant with twins made me really hungry.

“With her parents, she was missing them so I told her to go.”

“That’s a good boyfriend.” I said then smiled at him, I liked how he put her before himself.

“So where’s my brother?” He asked as he put peanut back on the floor so he could crawl around.

“Upstairs, I think he’s on the phone with your guys parents...”

“So have you and my mom talked at all yet?” He asked.

“No, honestly I don’t care if they like me or not, which on a side note your mom loved me before she found out we were together, but anyways she’s Bryce’s grandmother so she should be better for him. But I really don’t care how she treats me or anything but that’s my son, it hurts to know she’s treating him like that.” I said then shrugged.

“I’m sorry.” Mikey said.

“Whatever its fine.”

Notes

I really like this guy to the point where I wanna like explode but hes a good friend and I don't wanna make things awkward but I havent felt this strong of a crush in a while.

Till next we meet my killjoys