I'm Not Okay

"I can't believe we're gonna have another baby so soon." Gerard said we sat down, Gerard pulled me close to his side and peanut was laying on my chest,

"Yeah, I think it's a little too soon but I'm glad he gets a sibling."

"Same, it's great having a brother."

"So you want another boy?"

"Maybe, I'd also be nice having a daughter. You know, a little girl to protect."

"How are we gonna do this? Like we lied saying I was sick for so long, I don't think we can use the same lie. But I also wanna keep working, and this time when I get big it's gonna be warm and I can't use hoodies and blankets to hide the baby."

"We work and say you've been gaining weight until you look pregnant then we stop working, we go on hiatus."

"We can't do that to the fans!" I yelled, scaring Bryce. He made a cry of protest so I set him on the floor with a blanket and have him a dew toys and he re-entertained himself.

"Frank we have good reasons to go on hiatus; my divorce, our baby, our second baby. The fans will understand."

"I guess but-"

"Frank, peanut and the next one deserve both parents full and undivided attention for the first few years of their life."

"You're right but-"

"Frank I love how much you care about everyone but you'll kill yourself trying to please everyone. Focus on what's important and right now that's our beautiful baby boy and our soon to be child, please? Everyone will understand. Just until the new one is at least born and a bit older."

"I wanna work throughout my pregnancy, till the very end when I deliver." Gerard didn't look happy when I said that. "But we’ll take it easy in the later stages of my pregnancy, and then focus completely on the babies when the new one comes and decided from there, is that good?"

"Fine." He said then came closer to me and dropped his hand on my stomach; I leaned back and pushed my stomach out a bit so he could have better access.

"I still can't believe we're going to have another baby so soon." He said as he started to rub my stomach, "What made you think you were pregnant anyways? I mean we used a condom every time, did one break and I not know?"

"Remember the first night we started having sex again, after Lynz came in and slapped me and shit went down." I waited until he nodded, "We didn't use a condom that time and when we finished and you fell asleep I realized it, and got worried but I didn't want to freak you out and I knew I had to wait a few weeks before I found out before so I kept it on the down low."

"You still could have told me, I wouldn't have been pissed or scared and ran away. But whatever, that's in the past, let's think to the future. Where would he or she be sleeping?"

"The music room? We can put all that stuff in the basement and just work from there." I offered.

"So I have to carry all that shit down two flights of stairs, great." He sighed and layer against the sofa.

"I'll help." I said as I straddled his lap, he brought his hands to my hips and pulled me closer to him. I pecked his lips once.

"No way are you carrying anything over 10 pounds." He said and pecked my lips again.

"So I can't pick up peanut?" I asked.

"Okay anything that is heavier than peanut." He said and pulled me down and kissed me, but this time he held me there and turned our small peck into a passionate kiss with a little bit of grinding. We kept this up for a while and when he licked my lips asking for entrance I was about to let him in but I felt a blender go off in my stomach and I knew I had a few seconds before I threw up.

I threw myself out of Gerard's grasp and lap and ran to the kitchen; I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom in time. I left Gerard there with a confused face but when he saw me huddled over the sink and spilling my guys into it he understood what was going on and came behind me and held my hair back and pressed kisses to my neck and whispered encouraging things into my ear.

"This I don't miss." I said as I finished throwing up and wiped my mouth.

"I'm sure you don't." He said as he handed me a glass of water, "How are you feeling now?"

“Tired.” I answered.

“Then why don’t you go take a nap,” He said then we looked over at Bryce who was now sleeping on the floor, “And I’ll put him down for a nap as well.” He said then we both laughed.

“No! I want him to sleep with me.” I said then ran over to him and carried him in my arms, Gerard was laughing at me but I didn’t care.

When I got to my room I laid down on the bed I shared with Gerard and held my peanut close to me and fell asleep with him in my arms. I’m pretty sure as I fell asleep I saw Gerard take a picture of the two of us.

Notes

Short filler. On a side not why do people have to put others down? Like if someone does something that you dont like but it doesnt affect you then just dont pay any attention to it, but dont like put that person down for that

Till next we meet my killjoys