I'm Not Okay

Have you ever been sleep and then suddenly you wake up but your body is still asleep? Well that's how I felt when I woke up, it wasn't the most pleasant thing, my body hurt and I felt a huge weight on my chest. I decided to back asleep but this weight was bugging me so I decided to roll over, as I slowly rolled over and the weight started to roll off of me. But before I could completely roll over I remembered I fell asleep with peanut on my chest. My eye immediately snapped open and my arms protectively flew around peanut before I rolled over him. I quickly pulled myself up to a sitting position and looked down at my baby. He was still sleeping and thank god he didn't get hurt. Oh my god. I almost rolled over my baby, baby roll over are what kill the most babies each year. Oh my god. I almost killed my baby, my own son.

Before I knew it I was hysterically sobbing and clutching on to Bryce like I was about to lose him. In a matter of seconds Gerard came running into the room looking at both of us wide eyed. He saw me clutching the baby and sobbing so he came over to look at Bryce, when I didn't let go of him he started to freak out but when he saw Bryce was okay he calmed down.

"What's wrong Frankie?" He asked as he sat down on the bed and pulled me close to him; I started to sob into his shirt.

"I-I-I." I couldn't get a proper sentence out, soon Bryce started to cry and I began to freak out. Gerard had to force my son out of my arms and into his own.

"Bryce is just fine, still a bit tired so I'm gonna take him to his room so he can finish his nap, okay?" He said carefully.

I nodded but was still sobbing when Gerard left with Bryce. When he came back I was no better and he sat down on the bed and pulled me into his lap, I continued to sob into his shirt.

"What's wrong baby?" He asked as he held me tight and kissed my head lovingly.

"I-I a-a-almost k-killed him." I said then another fit of wails left my body. Gerard tensed up at first but soon started to rub my back until I calmed down again.

"What do you mean baby? He's just fine."

"I forgot he was sleeping with me and I almost rolled over on top of him. Gerard, I almost killed our baby!" I said and exploded into another fit of sobs.

"But you didn't," he said when I calmed down again. "You stopped yourself and prevent our son from getting hurt. You did your job as a parent, so you almost hurt him so what? He's just fine now, my dad dropped me when I was a baby and I'm just fine now. Babies are built to handle new parents, everything is just fine." He said as he pecked my head.

"B-B-but -"

"No buts, you're pregnant so you're just getting really emotional right now. Peanuts just fine so there's nothing to worry about."

I nodded into his shirt. He held me until the tears stopped then he kissed my head.

"I'm sorry you had to do this alone last time, but I'm here for you now." He said then kissed me, "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" He asked.

"Blow me?" I asked wiping away a tear.

Gerard looked down at me then flipped us around so I was under him and he was on top with one of his hands rubbing circles on my crotch. I let out some embarrassing noises as Gerard continued to smirk down at me.

“You sure baby?” He asked in an innocent voice.

I let out a whine and undid my own pants before Gerard could stop me. By the time he realized how impatient I was he attacked my pants until they were a crumbled mess on the floor, my shirt found itself in the same pile not long later. But instead of jumping me like I wanted him to do, he looked down at my naked body, especially my stomach, and kissed every part of my body, expect for the one part I wanted.

“So beautiful.” He said as his face paused over my navel. “I don’t think I ever saw your bare tummy with Bryce, this time will be different.” He said then pressed more kisses to my stomach.

Normally I would think that’s the sweetest thing Gerard has said and other cute shit like that but I was so god damn hard it hurt and I felt like my dick was about to fall off.

“Gee, normally I would be really happy that you are being so caring and nice but will you please just shut up and blow me?”

“I like how demanding you get when you’re pregnant.”

I open my mouth to argue with him but as soon as his sentence was finished his mouth was sucking on my tip. My head hit the back of my pillow and a deep moan came out from my throat. His skilled mouth traveled to the end of my shaft and back up the top, the amount of moans escaping my lips were probably more than a porn video. He began to bob his head at a faster pace and I buckled my hips until I felt a tight sensation in the pit of my stomach. My hands flew into Gerard’s hair pulling it in all sorts of directions, Gerard let out a moan and the vibrations sent me over the edge. I didn’t even have a chance to warn him before I came inside his mouth.

“My god I love you.” I said as he pulled off of me and wiped his mouth with the side of his hand.

“Feeling any better?” He asked as he tossed me a pair of his sweat pants.

I nodded and dressed myself before getting up; as I got dressed I noticed he had his own bulge in his pants. I smirked as I walked over to him and cupped him.

“Want some help?” I asked.

“Nope.” He smiled at me; I gave him a confused look and released him. “For the next nine months it’s all about you, you don’t need to please me but I have to please you and make sure you’re happy. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” He said then kissed me, “Come on, I know you’re hungry.” He said as he pulled me out of our room and into the kitchen.

My god I love this man.

Notes

I have a sore throat and a interview tomorrow, wish me luck! There's one MCR song I haven't listened to yet and I probably wont listen to it anytime soon, and if you ask why its because when I do listen to it then I will have listened to every song and it will truly be the end.

Till next we meet my killjoys