I'm Not Okay

I didn't get much sleep that night, I was too focused on the fact that there was no condom involved and I could end up pregnant again. But I shouldn't be worried about that, most people have to try a lot to get pregnant so what are the chances I'll get pregnant after have unprotected sex once... Oh that's right, that already happened with Bryce. When the morning came around peanut started crying in the monitor signaling he was hungry. I sighed as I started to move out of Gerard's arms to go feed him, in the process I woke Gerard up.

"Hey babe." He said as he rubbed his eyes and got up as well.

"Hey."

"You look like shit; did you even sleep last night? You have dark circles under your eyes."

"I didn't get much sleep last night." I truthfully answered.

"Aw, why not."

"My butt hurts." I lied.

"I'm sorry, you go back to bed and I got peanut." He said then kissed me on the lips.

"Thanks." I said as I crawled back under the sheets and fell asleep.

******* four weeks later*******

My baby is almost three months old! He can sit up on his own and crawl around on his own, he almost sleeps through the night and I am starting to feel old now; even though I'm only twenty-five, Gerard on the other hand is almost thirty so he has it worse. Gerard and Lynz's divorce is going through even though she's in jail, after she came in my house she has been going through with the divorce without any problem. And when the press started to question Gerard, he didn't say anything about me it Bryce and nothing bad about Lynz, just that things weren't working out between them anymore. But after the night we had unprotected sex, I bought a pack of condoms and Gerard and I use them every time we sleep together, he never questioned why I got them or realized that we slept together without a condom the first night. I didn't tell him because I didn't want to worry him, I also had to wait a few weeks before I found out, I was hoping I wasn't, the band was starting to go back to work and I didn't want to make us wait like I did when I was pregnant the first time. Today was my appointment with Dr. Shannon to find out.

"Hey babe," I said as I came downstairs ready to go to the doctors. "I'm gonna go out for a bit."

"Where?" He asked as he was feeding peanut in a high chair.

"To visit my mom." I said as I came down and kissed peanuts head then Gerard's lips. "I'll be back soon."

"Have fun!" He called as I walked out the door.

I already spoke to Dr. Shannon in the phone about me thinking I was pregnant again; she cleared her office for me and told me to come in. When I got there she greeted me and began.

"When was the last time you had unprotected sex?" She asked.

"Four weeks ago." I said, I was starting to get nervous.

"Okay, we can do a blood test and an ultrasound; the blood test will confirm it and ultrasound will give a maybe answer."

"Do both, but the blood test first." I told her.

She nodded and took the blood from me and sent it to her lab. Since she had a lab in her office she would be able to get the results in about fifteen minutes. Long enough to finish the ultrasound. After she sent the blood to the lab she came back with the ultrasound and I lifted my shirt and she started moving around the wand. She stopped at one spot and stared at the screen for a bit with an unreadable expression. She asked me if I wanted to know the results and I said I wanted to wait until the blood test came back. When it did I got really nervous.

"Okay, well when I did the ultrasound I thought I saw a fetus and the blood test confirms that what I saw was a fetus. Congratulations Frank, you're pregnant."

"I don't know if I'm happy or upset."

"Well now you have Gerard by your side, so things will be easier."

"Yeah I guess you're right." I said as I ran my hand over my stomach.

"Be happy Frank." She said as she gave me a few copies of the ultrasound.

As I left and drove back to my house I started to get happier about the baby. Being an only child kinda sucked so in glad Bryce now gets a sibling, a baby brother or sister. When I got home I was in a really good mood

"Hey Gerard I need to tell you something." I said as I found him in the kitchen carrying peanut, he looked upset.

"I thought you said you were going to your moms."

"I know but I-"

"So you lied. You're mom called and wanted to talk to you. What the fuck Frank? Why did you lie to me? Where were you?"

"Look Gerard I'm sorry I lied but I need to tell to something-"

"Are you cheating on me?"

"No! Gerard shutup!" I yelled at him, he stopped talking to me and waited for me to continue.

Instead of telling him I pulled out a copy if the photo and handed it to him. He looked kinda pissed when I handed it to him but when he saw and recognized what it was his face instantly changed and he looked between the photo and I.

"Is this..."

"Yeah, were having another baby."

His expression was still shocked as he stared at the picture, Bryce tried to grab the picture from him but Gerard moved it out of his reach and kept staring at it.

"I know it's not the best time for a baby but it's still coming and-"

"No, peanut came at a bad time because I was married, was being an ass, and wasn't there for a large part of your pregnancy. This one," he said and came over to me and put a hand on my stomach, “I’ll be here every step of the way and never leave your side. This time it will be easier." He said and leaned down to kiss me, but Bryce was still in his arms and pulled out hair instead.

"Did you hear that peanut?" I asked taking him from Gerard's arms, "you're gonna be a big brother!"

Notes

So my birthday is tomorrow! I will try and update but it might not happen for the next 3 days, I hope you enjoy.

Till next we meet my killjoys