Snap shot

"No."

"No?"

"No frank. You're not doing the shoots with me." I said

"why not it would fix most of the problems."

"Frank you realize you're putting your body out there for anyone to see, hell your sister could see it! I'm not putting you at that type of risk. It was stupid enough for me to start doing it just because I wanted people to tell me I'm pretty and I'm not letting you do it for me when I shouldn't have done it in the first place."

"But gee-"

"no. No butts whatsoever you're not doing the shoots with me."

"So you'd rather fuck other dudes during the pictures instead of you're boyfriend?" Frank asked rudely.

"I'd rather not do it at all!"

"Then quit!" He yelled.

"Shhh! Mikey's upstairs and we already went through this!" I told him.

Frank just shook his head. "You realize you could just quit. No one you know found your ads or video yet so what makes you think they will? Plus the more pictures you take the more chance you have of people seeing them."

"Frank no one can see them while I'm monitoring the pic-"

"fucking Christ gerard I saw them and I didn't even have to try!" He yelled

"What do you mean you saw them and didn't have to try?" I asked worriedly

"I wanted to see if I could find you online and nothing came up with your name so I searched black haired twink or something and you popped up in one of the pictures." He said

"you're lying"

"google it" he said handing me his phone.

I opened safari and searched black haired twink. As it loaded I became more and more nervous. Images started popping up and I didn't see any of me and felt relieved.

I slowly scrolled down and then froze when I did see myself. I threw the phone and started crying. Frank seemed shocked and didn't know what to do.

He kept telling me to calm down but I couldn't. I had tried so hard to keep those pictures on private websites but apparently I got screwed somewhere along the line.

I felt filthy and then my stomach dropped.
if my pictures had gotten out then that meant....
my video may have too.

i ran and grabbed franks phone from where I threw I it and typed in the title of my video which was permanently ingrained in my head. 'blonde haired beauty gets pounded (boyxboy)'

I clicked on the first link which took me to some shitty porn site and then I clicked on the play arrow on the black screen.
My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest as I waited.

The video began playing and i screamed out in frustration and i was crying so it came out as a high pitched whine. I buried my head in my hands and let the sobs rack through my body.

"Gerard?" Frank asked hesitantly. He looked down at the phone and then back at me. "Is that?"

I threw the phone at him. "Go ahead. Watch it. Be like one of the millions of others who've seen it."

Frank looked confused as to what to do as I watched him. "Gerard I-"

"seriously watch it. You may as well see why I don't want you to start doing shoots."

Frank clicked the lock button on his phone and tossed the phone onto the floor. "I'm not going to watch it."

"Why?"

"Because." He said as he sat down on the futon next to me. "Because you're my boyfriend and I have the real you right here. I don't need the fake porn version. We all make mistakes yours just happens to be different than most but it doesn't make you any less than you think you are."

"I can't believe I let it get out to the public and not know about it." I said. "I just feel so stupid."

"Youre not stupid gerard. It's the internet anything can get out. Plus doesn't this mean you can stop now?"

"Stop?" I asked "stop what- oh the shoots? Why would I be able to stop now."

"Well isn't the worst already out there?" He said talking about the video. "what more could really happen if you stopped?"

"I have no idea"

Notes

Gerard's video:(
either way I'm having electro therapy right now so yea sorry it's short but I have to stop using my hand now for the next part because more stick pad things have to be added.

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