Gerard's pov

I walked home and the whole time I couldn't help but feel guilty. I don't like talking about Bert. I don't even care for talking in general but for some reason talking to frank was different.

He was actually interested in what I had to say. He could've picked anything he wanted from me for our deal so he'd keep his mouth shut but he picked that I had to talk to him.

If I was him I probably would've just asked for money in exchange for me being quiet if it was the other way around but he didn't. Plus when we kissed it was more passionate than any other kiss I've ever had and I want to feel that more often.

I had to tell him about Bert. I couldn't keep avoiding frank like the plague and leading him on just because i was scared of letting people into my past.

i walked inside my house and shut the front door. I didn't see any cars out front so my parents weren't home but I was hoping mikey would be here. I needed to talk to him. As I walked towards Mikey's room I thought about things.

I didn't know how I'd be able to manage to quit my job without having my pictures end up everywhere but if frank at least knows why I do everything then maybe we can work it out.
It would be nice having a normal relationship with someone for once.

I also thought about how this could totally backfire on me and how I'd end up alone and frank wouldn't want to be with me after learning just how broken I was.

After mentally debating for a few moments I knocked hesitantly on Mikey's door and waited for him to answer.
"What." He said flatly.

"Mikey can we talk." I asked.

Mikey was silent. I think he was expecting one of my parents and not me, I never confront mikey, ever.

"what do you want." He said opening his door and glaring at me.

"Can I come in?"

"Cut the crap and tell me what you want gerard I'm not exactly happy with you right now." He said gesturing to his neck where the bruises I gave him were still very visible.

"Oh, about that... I'm sorry I shouldn't have acted like that over something so stupid. It was my fault I was worried when I couldn't find what I was looking for.." I mumbled,

"so you found your little blades?" Mikey said rudely.

I took a deep breath before pushing past him and going into his room. I shoved him onto his bed and I shut his door then stood in from of him.

"Just for once, once can you please just be my fucking brother and not an asshole." I asked

mikey just looked up at me confused. "Excuse me-"

"mikey cut the bullshit. I need like an hour tops to talk to you and that's it and then I'll leave you alone, I just...I'm sick of you bringing up Bert and not knowing what happened. I know you don't care but I have a friend now that I'm hurting because I keep pushing him away all because of my past." I said stopping to take a breath, about to continue before Mikey cut me off.

"what does this have anything to do with-"

"mikey I'm going to tell you exactly what happened between me and Bert and I need to know your opinion on whether I should tell my friend or not." I said seriously.

Mikey just looked at me for a while but nodded so I began talking.

---

"So what do you think I should do?" I asked Mikey with tears flowing down my cheeks.

Mikey had been silent the whole time and I don't know if it was because he was shocked or because he just didn't care but I was hoping he'd have at least some input.

"Gerard you know I absolutely don't approve of your relationships with dudes but this 'friend' may need to know these things soon if you actually...like him." mikey said truthfully.

it wasn't even exactly a kind comment but it was the most interest Mikey had ever shown towards me and I appreciated that.

"thank you." I said and then began to walk back to my room, but I heard it.

I heard Mikey whisper the 'your welcome' that I knew I wasn't supposed to hear but it made me smile and I felt a lot better about what I was about to do.

once I got to my room I pulled out my phone and went to franks number which I had stolen off of Mikey's phone a few weeks ago incase I'd need it and I began typing.

-frank we need to talk. I'm so sorry about how I was acting earlier but I want to make it up to you

frank: where do you want to talk and how do I know you won't leave again.
He asked.

-I promise I won't. Come over later and I'll handle Mikey for the night but I need to do this as soon as possible.
i told him hoping he'd agree.

it took a few minutes before he responded but eventually he did.

Frank: you get one shot at this or else I'm not going to try and talk to you anymore and I will tell Mikey about the modeling. I'm getting sick of this Gerard.

-I promise I didn't mean to lead you on, frank I want to at least try and explain things please just believe me.
I wrote praying he would.

Frank: I'll be over at eleven.

I sighed knowing there was no turning back now. I was about to open up to frank about everything.

I was about to let him in.
I was about to talk about Bert for the first time in forever, and I was fucking terrified about all of it.

Notes

Next chapter should be intense and it should be up soon but I don't know because I'm having shoulder surgery yay!
i have something called a slap tear in my shoulder so I don't know how long it will hurt and stuff but I'll try to update as much as possible.

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