You're Beautiful To Me

Frank comes further into the room, his face unchanging but the look in his eyes is pure anger as he continues to stare at Ryan. "What's he doing here?" Frank asks as he sits beside the bed, his gaze flicking from Ryan up to my face. "He just lost the love of his life, he needs a friend." "Looks like more than that Gerard, you don't even know this guy. Is something going on with you two?" My mouth drops open in disbelief at what I'm hearing, feeling shocked and hurt before I gather myself enough to say "Frank what the fuck are you talking about? You think I'm cheating on you?" "What else am I meant to think?" Frank snaps and I feel myself getting worked up, the heart monitor picking up the pace of it's beeping as I let my eyes slip shut, trying to hold back the tears I feel welling. "I wouldn't do that to you" I whimper out before opening my eyes again and Franks expression has softened a little but he still looks pissed off. "He's sleeping on you" Frank exclaims and I swallow hard as I say "I'm just trying to offer comfort, his whole life has been destroyed and he needs someone...." "What about me Gerard?" "What about you?" "I need you too, do you have any idea how hard this whole thing has been on me? But you don't care about that do you, all you can think about is him" Frank spits, turning his attention to Ryan at the end, his face hardening again. "It's been hard on you? You selfish fucking asshole, do you have any idea what I've gone through? Living in fear for so long that I won't be around to see my kids grow up? Feeling scared that I would have to leave you, you're my whole fucking world Frank and even thinking about being without you makes me feel terrified, nothing has ever scared me that bad in my whole life." Frank falls silent for a few seconds as we just stare at each other before I break the silence to say "I love you Frank but you're being a fucking jerk right now. Ryan is my friend and he's all alone now, he needs someone and if it was you in this situation, you'd want someone to be there for you too wouldn't you?" Frank sighs softly and drops his gaze down to his lap, nodding slowly. "Maybe you should go Frank" I tell him and his head snaps back up, his mouth dropping open before he says "What? No babe I....." "I'm not meant to get upset or overly emotional right now and I don't have the energy to fight with you anymore Frank." Frank swallows hard before bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes, wiping away a few stray tears collecting there before saying "Maybe I'll go for a walk, clear my head." I nod, biting softly at my bottom lip as Frank adds, "Then can I come back?" "You can come back when you're ready to apologise and not start a fight, regardless of whether Ryan is still here or not." Frank nods, standing up and leaning down to kiss me but I tilt my head and let him kiss my cheek, not in the mood to forgive him yet and he leaves the room, sending me one last sad glance over his shoulder before he closes the door behind himself.

After Frank leaves I try to turn my attention back on the tv but I'm too upset to focus on what's happening so I turn it off, shifting slightly beneath Ryan who is still sleeping to make myself comfortable and just as I'm letting my eyes slip closed, deciding to try and take a nap Ryan starts to stir against my chest, letting out a soft murmur as he turns his head to rub his face against my shirt. "Mmm baby, I had the worst dream" he mumbles softly as he tilts his head and starts gently kissing and sucking at my neck and I tense up unsure of what to do so I decide on saying "Ry..." But I'm cut off by Ryan shifting around, half opening his eyes but he's clearly not fully awake yet as he presses a kiss to my lips, not finding them exactly so his kiss half gets my cheek too and he slides his mouth across to line up, his lips moving against mine and I gently grab his shoulders, easing him back and breaking the one sided kiss and his eyes snap open fully in confusion until he realises what he's doing and he sits up fully, running his hand through his hair as he says "Oh my god, Gerard I'm so sorry" as tears steam down his cheeks. "I thought you were....and it was all a bad dream and I....." "Hey it's alright" I tell him softly as I pull him back down, shifting around onto my side and he reluctantly lays back down, his head on the pillow too as he continues to cry silently. "I should probably go" Ryan says and I slide my arm around him again as I say "Just relax for a second and calm down. It's alright Ryan, I know you were still half asleep and that's probably something you're so used to just doing." Ryan turns his head to look at me, nodding his head slowly and I start gently stroking my hand up and down his side, trying to comfort him. We fall silent after that, both of us just laying on the bed together and I turn back onto my back, staring up at the roof, the fight from earlier running through my mind and after a few minutes of silence Ryan says "Gerard." I turn my head to look at him again and his face is right there and before I have a chance to move back away from him his lips are on mine again, moving slow and gentle against my still ones and as his tongue gently swipes against my bottom lip I melt into it, kissing back and we kiss slow and soft, our bodies slowly sliding closer to each other as our lips and tongues work together, the kiss remaining soft and affectionate. After a minute we pull apart for air and I bring my hand up to touch my lips, feeling them tingle slightly and Ryan smiles softly at me and says "Wow." I lower my hand and smile back, watching him move closer again and this time I lean in and close the small gap left, our lips moving together again and I sigh softly into the kiss, feeling my whole body relax as we kiss again, getting lost in the feeling of being wanted and cared about until the sound of the door opening shatters everything.

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