You're Beautiful To Me

"Baby" Frank whispers before leaning down and sealing his lips to mine, my hand slipping out of Ryan's and coming up to tangle in his hair as I kiss back. By the time we pull apart I am gasping for breath, my body extremely weak from the surgery and Frank chuckles fondly and gently cups my cheek with his hand as he says "Easy baby, you're ok." When I finally regain my breath I smile up at Frank and he smiles back, our gazes locked and Ryan clears his throat and says "I should probably go." "Oh" I say as I turn my head and look over at him again. Before I get a chance to say anything else the door opens and Mikey comes in, smiling when he sees me awake and he walks over to the end of the bed. "Hey" he says softly and I smile at him as I say "Hey Mikes." "Are you up for seeing the kids?" He asks and I smile even wider at the thought of seeing them. I nod and Mikey nods back and turns to leave the room, my attention turning back to Ryan and he stands up, smiling down at me as he says "Bye Gerard." "Bye Ryan, if you need anything you know where I am." "Thanks Gerard, it was nice to meet you Frank" Ryan says as he leaves the room, Mikey and my mom coming in right after with the kids and when Anna sees me she squeals and claps her hands, excitement written all over her face.

A week later I am still in hospital, my body not up for going home just yet and Frank has gone home with the kids for a much needed rest. I'm laying in bed watching tv when a soft knock at the door sounds and I call out for whoever it is to come in, Ryan opening the door and coming in. "Hey" he says softly and I smile as I say "Hey, haven't seen you for a few days, how have you been?" "Yeah alright I guess, how are you feeling?" He asks as he takes the seat beside the bed. "Still not feeling great but hopefully I'll be able to go home soon." Ryan nods, falling silent for a few minutes and just as I open my mouth to try and make conversation Ryan bursts into tears, soft muffled sobs escaping him as he brings his hands up to cover his face. I sigh softly before reaching out and gently stroking the top of his hair, Ryan looking up at me with red swollen eyes, tears still running down his cheeks. "I miss him so so much Gerard, he's gone and I can't sleep at night. I miss his warmth and listening to his heartbeat while he holds me close. Nothing matters anymore, I don't even want to get up in the morning now. It hurts and I don't know how much more I can take." I shift slightly on the bed, sliding over before holding my arms out to him and Ryan hesitates for a second before climbing up on the bed, cuddling into my side as I wrap my arms around him, gently guiding his head to lay on my chest away from my stitches, my hand gently carding through his hair as he falls silent, one of his hands clenched in the blanket laying over me. "It's gonna be alright Ryan" I tell him softly and he nuzzles his face further into my chest, his breathing evening out and before I know it he's asleep against my chest. I turn my attention back to the tv and twenty minutes later the door opens again and Frank comes in alone, looking well rested and freshly showered, dressed in clean clothes and I smile as he comes in, a smile on his face too until he sees Ryan and his smile quickly drops, being replaced by an unreadable expression.

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