You're Beautiful To Me

When I wake up again the room is in darkness and Mikey is slumped over the side of the bed, his head on the mattress as he snores softly. I sigh softly as I climb off the bed, my head still slightly foggy from whatever they injected me with and I stumble across the room, my stomach feeling more and more unsettled with every step I take and I manage to make it out into the hallway, stumbling along towards the nurses station but I don't quite make it that far, doubling over and vomiting suddenly all over the floor. The sound of my retching draws attention and two nurses comes running from the nurses station, one helping me sit in the floor while another goes back to call for someone to clean up my vomit. "Mr Way you shouldn't be leaving your room" the nurse who stayed with me tells me as she kneels beside me and I pant softly, the effort of walking out here and the vomiting taking all my energy. "I need to see the doctor" I tell her and she says "Mr Way the doctor has gone home for the night, he will be back in at 9." "I need....I'm having an abortion and I need to get it done, I want it done now." "Mr Way I know how difficult this must be for you but the doctor will be back at 9, perhaps you should try getting some more sleep before then." "I don't think I can...." "I can give you something to help you sleep if you would like. Do you think you can make it back to your room?" "I don't...." "Gee" a voice calls and we both turn our heads to see Mikey stumbling out of the room, heading towards us. Mikey helps me back into my room and helps me into bed, the nurse coming by a few minutes later to give me a pill to help me sleep and I fall back to sleep clutching Mikey's hand, his thumb gently rubbing across the back of my hand, soothing me.

The following afternoon Frank shows up half an hour after the nurse brings me back to my room, the baby gone and my tears won't stop falling. I'm curled up on my side with my back to the door, a pillow clutched to my chest when the door opens but I don't bother turning to see who it is, beyond caring anymore. I vaguely register footsteps coming across the floor before someone climbs into bed behind me, warm arms wrapping around my waist and I let out a loud wailing sob as I clutch the pillow tighter and Franks soft voice says "Shhh baby" his hand sliding down to rest over my lower stomach where the baby should be. "Don't, get away" I wail out as I curl in tighter around the pillow and Frank sobs out "I'll leave, I'll move out and sign whatever divorce papers you have if you want but I will not leave you alone right now baby, I will not go anywhere until I know you're ok." I feel my breathing get more and more unstable before I roll over and launch myself into Franks chest, needing the comfort and he holds me to his chest as I bury my face in his neck and break completely sobbing out "It's gone" over and over and Frank cries along with me as he tries to calm me down. "I know baby I know but it had to be done, I can't live without you and I would have lost both of you, Anna and Miles would have lost their daddy. We need you around baby, we would be lost without you." "Frankie I can't....I can't...." I sob out before falling silent again, tears still streaming down my cheeks and Frank just holds me until I fall asleep in his arms, my mind needing the escape.

Notes