You're Beautiful To Me

The nurse keeps talking to me, trying to calm me down but it does nothing, my heart racing painfully and her hand suddenly leaves me to be replaced by a slightly warmer calloused one and Franks face comes into view. "Baby" he chokes out, tears streaming down his face. "Just breathe my love. I'm so sorry baby please just breathe with me, please don't do this to me again." He slows his breathing right down, exaggerating it so I can follow the pattern and the pain in my chest starts to slowly ease and the annoying high pitch beeping in the background starts to slow. "There we go, good baby" Frank coos softly at me and some of the nurses leave the room, leaving just one doctor and one nurse and Frank. "Keep breathing my love" he says softly and I lock my gaze with his, both of us just staring into each others eyes as we breathe deep and slow, Franks hand coming down to slip into mine and I squeeze it as hard as I can, Frank squeezing back to let me know he's there. A few minutes go by and my heart rate slowly goes back to normal, the ache in my chest almost non existent. Franks free hand comes up to start gently stroking my hair back off my face while the doctor talks but I don't pay any attention, getting lost in staring at Franks face but Frank is now staring at the doctor intently and when he finishes speaking Frank nods in understanding and the doctor leaves the room, the nurse adding something to the iv I'm hooked up to before leaving again and Frank and I are alone. "You really know how to scare the fuck out of me you know" he says, his tone joking and I continue to stare at him blankly. "Babe" he says softly and I take a deep breath, tugging the mask off my face as I say "I think you should go." Franks face drops and he shakes his head as he says "No, babe I'm not leaving you alone right now. You need to put this back on" and he grabs the mask, putting it back into place. I frown and reach up to take it off again but Frank grabs my wrist and says "The doctor said you need to keep it on for a little while, just until he comes back." I sigh softly and roll my eyes before rolling onto my side, my back to Frank and I ignore his attempts to talk to me. He comes around the other side of the bed and takes a seat, smiling softly at me but I just roll over onto my other side, my back to him again and he lets out a soft sigh before saying "Fine, I'm still going to be here though."

Half an hour later the doctor comes back in with a nurse and they check me over, fiddling with the monitor hooked up to check my heart rate and the nurse fiddling with the iv and she gently removes the mask, the doctor deciding I don't need it anymore. The doctor starts talking about my small almost heart attack before and the stress my body is under, the damage to my heart worse than before. When he's finished he asks if I have any questions so I ask "Can I go home now?" He smiles softly at me and says "I'm afraid not Gerard. You need to be here for at least another five days to a week for observation before I can let you go anywhere." I frown before saying "Can I at least shower or something then?" The doctor nods and says "Yeah I guess we can arrange that. It will need to be quick and you will find that you won't have much strength or energy so someone will probably need to help you, I can organise for a male nurse to...." "I'll help" Frank says and I turn my head to glare at him before turning back to the doctor and saying "When can you get the nurse in here?" The doctor nods, looking slightly confused before saying "I will need to go check, although it might be a little while." I sigh, frustrated with the whole situation and the doctor rests his hand on my arm and says "Gerard you need to try and relax, all this stress is not good for your condition as you saw earlier." I nod before turning to Frank and saying "Fine, help me then." A few minutes later the doctor has unhooked me from all the machines and Frank gently scoops me up from the bed, carrying me to the small private bathroom to the side of the room and he sits me on the bench in there while he starts the water. I try to reach up and undo the tie on the hospital gown I'm dressed in but Frank comes back over and gently bats my hands away, undoing it for me and helping tug it off before picking me up off the bench and setting me on my feet, one arm supporting me while he helps tug down my boxers, leaving me naked. Once I'm under the spray of warm water I lean against the wall and Frank lets me go, letting me attempt to wash myself but I'm really tired and weak and halfway through washing my hair I start to wobble and my legs start to buckle under me, the floor coming closer and closer to my face but Frank jumps in and catches me, getting completely soaked as he sits on the floor and lowers me into his lap, gently washing the rest of the soap from my hair and body before pressing a soft kiss to my forehead and saying "You ready to get out now?" I nod slowly and he reaches up and turns the water off before helping me up and drying me off, not worrying about himself. Once I'm dry Frank wraps the towel around my waist and sits me back on the bench again and says "I'll go see if I can get a clean gown, and I have some clean boxers and stuff in a bag for you." "I don't want a gown, I want my own clothes." "Ok baby hang on a second" he says softly as he leaves the bathroom, coming back a few seconds later with a bag and he opens it, pulling out boxers and digging through for a pair of loose pyjama pants and one of his old sweaters. I look at it warily but decide I can't be bothered to argue, my eyes feeling heavier by the second and I half heartedly assist Frank in redressing me, wanting nothing more than to lay down and sleep. When I'm dressed again Frank carries me back into the room, holding me out from his wet body, where a nurse is waiting by the bed to hook me up to all the machines again and when she sees my clothing she frowns and Frank says "Please, just let him be comfortable." She sighs softly and nods as Frank lays me down and she hooks me up again before leaving the room, Frank sitting back beside the bed and grabbing my hand but I'm too far gone to protest, my eyes closing and my whole body shutting down for a while, Franks voice sounding in my ear but I can't make out the words as I drift off.

Notes