You're Beautiful To Me

Frank keeps banging on the door and I start to cry, rocking myself back and forth as I curl up tighter until the banging stops and I hear a rustling outside the door before Frank says "Baby, please" his voice sounding broken and scared. I remain silent and Frank doesn't speak again and I start to wonder if he left and went back to the kids when his voice sounds again, startling me. "Gerard" he starts and that sends a chill through my whole body. He never calls me by my full name, not even when we first got together and I feel my breath hitch as he says "Come on, you can't keep doing this. You have two little humans out here depending on you completely, not to mention me. You can't keep being selfish and locking yourself away when things get hard." I feel anger coursing through my body as well as sadness that he could be so insensitive to me and I stand back up, marching over to the door and unlocking it, flinging it open and as I brush past Frank I hiss out "Fuck you, you have no fucking idea what I'm going through." Frank steps back, looking stunned at my reaction as I march into the bedroom, walking over and picking up Miles out of his crib before turning and seeing Anna sitting on the bed with her teddy and I lean down and scoop her up too, settling her on my hip as I carry both of them from the room and as I pass Frank in the hallway he tries to take Anna from me but I tighten my hold on her and push past him again, going into the kitchen and sitting Anna in her high chair before turning to the counter and fixing Miles a bottle one handedly and while it's heating I go to the fridge to grab an egg and some milk, planning on making Anna scrambled eggs for breakfast. Just as Miles' bottle is ready Frank comes into the room, grabbing my hips and forcing me to turn around and when we're facing each other he leans in so his face is just an inch from mine, staring into my eyes as he says "I have no idea about what huh? About how hard it is to look after two kids? Or how you haven't eaten in the last two days? Trust me, I fucking know Gerard." I swallow the sudden lump in my throat as I feel my eyes well with tears again and I hold Miles out, pressing him to Franks chest and forcing him to take him before I slip out from between them and the cupboard and run from the room. I make it to the bedroom before I break down in tears, collapsing to the floor as I struggle for breath and I start to feel a strange tightness in my chest, my whole right side feeling kinda funny and I can't seem to catch my breath. I try to scream for Frank but I can't seem to get enough air in so my voice is weak, too weak for him to hear and the pain and tightness start to get worse and worse and I struggle in one last breath, screaming for Frank as loud as I can and I hear a few rushed footsteps before I am swallowed by darkness as I fall unconscious.

TWO MONTHS LATER
I hear a faint beeping along with the sound of a television playing a little too loud as my head pounds and what sounds like heavy rain beating down on the roof and I slowly open my eyes, ready to ask Frank to turn the tv down but when I open my eyes I'm not on the couch in our living room like I would expect to be, I'm in a white, sterile looking room and I am confused about why I would be in the hospital yet again. I roll my head to see not Frank but Mikey curled up in an arm chair in the corner of the room, his gaze focused on the tv and when the show goes to a commercial break he stands up and stretches before looking over at me and noticing my eyes are open. "Holy shit" he gasps out as he rushes to my bed side and hits the call button for the nurse as he reaches out with his other hand and gently takes my hand in his. "How do you feel?" He asks as a doctor and a nurse rush into the room and I frown as I ask "Where's Frank?"

Notes