You're Beautiful To Me

The rest of the morning passes quickly and I manage to escape eating, Frank getting called into work early and between Miles waking up and Anna throwing a tantrum for no reason Frank never brings it up. After he helps me calm Anna down he leaves, pressing a soft lingering kiss to my lips but as soon as he's out the door I feel dirty again, like I have betrayed him. I don't eat for the whole day, throwing all my energy into playing with the kids and cleaning up the house when I manage to get them to nap at the same time, laying them on a thick blanket on the living room floor while I clean around them and when Anna wakes up she rolls over and hits Miles in the face, causing him to wake up screaming and as I sit on the floor cuddling him to my chest trying to calm him down Anna starts wailing too and I pull her into my side, trying to comfort both of them but I end up bursting into tears too, the three of us on the floor crying and that's how Mikey finds us when he comes over, letting himself in with the spare key we gave him. "Shit" he curses to himself as he drops to his knees beside me and he gently picks up Anna, her little hands fisting in the front of his shirt as her cries die down and eventually stop, Mikey proving to be a good distraction. Once she's quietened down Miles stops crying and falls asleep again against my chest and I gently lay him back down on the blanket, swiping my thumb gently over his red damp cheeks as I sniffle back more of my own tears and Mikey takes Anna into the kitchen for a bottle. When they come back Anna toddles in carrying a bottle of chocolate milk and she walks over and sits herself in my lap and I sigh as I shift her around and get comfortable and she curls up against my chest as she starts to drink. "So what was that?" Mikey asks and I shake my head as I say "Nothing." Mikey frowns and sits beside me on the floor and wraps his arm around my shoulders. "It didn't look like nothing." "What did it look like then?" I snap and he says "It looked like you having a complete break down in front of your kids." "Well why'd you ask then?" I snap again as I close my eyes, trying to bite back the new wave of tears that wants to fall and Mikey sighs softly before we fall silent, Miles' deep breaths and Anna suckling on the bottle being the only noises in the room.

Later that night when Frank comes home Anna is already in bed asleep but Miles is awake and we are laying in our bed, Miles on his back beside me as I lean over him, poking his stomach and tickling his feet and he lets out little giggles and babbles as he stares up into my eyes and I can't help but smile at his adorable little face, his smile helping to ease the knot in my stomach. I hear Frank walking around the apartment before he comes into the bedroom with his hand behind his back and I frown slightly as I say "What do you have?" Frank smiles wide before bringing his arm around and showing me the big bunch of flowers he is holding and I can't help but smile as he crosses the room to me, standing beside the bed and leaning down to kiss me softly before pulling away and handing me the flowers. I stare at them, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and a few tears roll down my cheek as I sob out "Thank you." "Babe" Frank says softly as he sits on the edge of the bed and I sit the flowers on the table next to us and let him pull me into his arms. "Talk to me baby" Frank says softly and I sniffle as I say "They're so nice, I don't deserve them." "Sure you do baby, you deserve more than flowers but it was all I could do on short notice." I let out a small hum as I snuggle closer into his chest, my face buried in his neck and when we pull apart I look down and Miles is sleeping beside me. Frank smiles before getting up and gently picking Miles up, tucking him into his own bed before he comes back, giving me another kiss before saying "I'll be right back, just gonna check on Anna" and leaving the room and while he's gone I settle under the covers, curling up on my side with the blanket pulled over me. When Frank comes back he strips down to his boxers, climbing into bed with me and sliding closer to me, grabbing my shoulder and rolling me onto my back, smirking down at me as he says "Hey gorgeous." I roll my eyes at him but he just chuckles before leaning down to seal his lips to mine and I kiss back, Frank climbing over me as we kiss and his hands slide down to grip at the bottom of the loose sweater I'm wearing again and I freeze, breaking the kiss. "You alright?" Frank asks, frowning in concern and I nod before saying "Can we turn the light off?" "Really? But I wanna see you." "Please" I ask again and Frank sighs softly as he nods and leans over to flick the lamp off, the room suddenly dark and I reach up, pulling his mouth back against mine.

Notes