You're Beautiful To Me

While I pick at my breakfast Frank takes Anna into her room and changes her diaper and dresses her for the day before bringing her back out and sitting beside me, giving her a bottle. When he's done he burps her and as he settles her back in his lap she starts to fuss, squirming around and whining before her whines turn to little cries and then she starts to full on scream, the noise piercing to my ears. "What's wrong with her?" Frank asks as he starts bouncing her gently in his lap but it does nothing to calm her down. "I dunno babe" I tell him as I put my coffee down and turn in my seat, holding my arms out and Frank hands her to me. I gently bounce her as I say "What's up Anna?" And she settles down a little but is still crying and whimpering. "Aww it's ok baby, daddy's got you" I tell her as I prop her up over my shoulder and gently pat her back and she lets out a rather loud burp followed by some
vomit which I was not expecting and I can feel it soaking through my tshirt as I bring her back down into my lap and she goes silent, her little eyes staring up at me. "So that was your problem huh? Daddy loves being spit up on you know" I tell her sarcastically and Frank chuckles softly as she makes a
little gurgle at me and I narrow my eyes at her and say "You're lucky you're so damn cute" before handing her back to Frank and standing up, going into the bathroom and stripping off my dirty shirt. I throw it in the hamper before walking into the bedroom and grabbing clothes for the day and going back to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and dressing. When I come back out Frank and Anna are on the floor in the living room, playing with her teddy bear and Frank is giggling while Anna gurgles and kicks her legs and I stand in the doorway and watch for a while, smiling wide at them.

Later in the morning I pack up the car and head to my shoot, Frank working the night shift so Anna is staying home with him. The shoot passes uneventfully but I take a few minutes at the start, the models making me feel fat and ugly and I rush to the restroom to cry before I pull myself together and get back to work. By the time I get home that afternoon I feel like shit. I walk in and dump all my stuff where it goes, planning on editing the photos later after I take a break and I'm on my way to the bedroom when Frank comes into the hallway and pulls me into a hug. "How was your day beautiful?" I pull back and stare at him in disbelief. "Don't lie to me" I snap as I shove past him and run into the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I walk over to stand infront of the mirror in the corner and I feel nauseous looking at myself. I pull my shirt up and look at my hips and stomach and they are absolutely disgusting, they're all flabby and I can see the cellulite and stretch marks and when I turn sideways I can see my stomach flab hanging down over the top of my jeans and I let out a choked off whine as I start to full on cry. I don't hear the door open but suddenly Franks there, his strong warm hands touching my hips and stomach and I squirm away from him and whine out "Don't touch it please, I can't stand it." "Babe what are you talking about?" He asks and I turn to face him as I say "I know I'm disgustingly fat, please don't lie to me. Can't you see the flab hanging over my jeans and all the bumps and marks. Oh god" I choke out as I sink to the floor and start to sob uncontrollably. Frank sinks to the floor with me and pulls me into his lap, cradling me to his chest as he gently rocks me back and forth, letting me sob into his neck. "Baby you're not fat, I promise you. You look absolutely incredible, you're far too beautiful and perfect to be settling for someone like me." "Fat" I sob out and he sighs and says "Babe you're not fat, would I lie to you?" I shake my head against his neck as my tears slowly stop and when I've calmed down he helps me stand up and turns me to face the mirror again, his hands gently pulling my shirt back up before running his warm hands over me. "I don't see any fat at all baby" he whispers in my ear as he touches me. He guides me to turn sideways and rubs his hand over my stomach and says "Look at how flat it is babe, you look amazing." I feel myself calming down a little and Frank says "Do you see?" I shrug before turning to face him and I collapse forward into his arms, letting them wrap around me as he holds me to his chest. "Love you so much babe" he whispers in my ear as he gently rubs my back and I let out a soft noise against his neck. "You tired babe?" I nod and he says "Come on, you lay down and have a nap baby, it'll help you feel better." Frank guides me over to the bed and lays me down, helping pull my jeans off, leaving me in my boxers and tshirt and he pulls the covers up over me but before he can leave the room I whimper and say "Please, stay with me?" "Ok baby" he tells me soothingly as he comes back over and crawls on the bed beside me, laying the monitor on the table and pulling me into his arms, stroking my hair and gently singing to me until I fall asleep.

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