break my will to fly or love

I didn't sleep well, knowing that when I wake , Gerard is gonna be a father and forget about me. Like there is something to forget, me sucking him? Yup he can get over it. Maybe I should just leave, I stood up and headed to Gerard's car.

"Shit" I realized he is gonna need this later. A nurse walked by and I stopped her
"Hey, miss could you take me to my house please"
"Your the boy who came in with Mr.way, right?"
"Yeah"
"Sure"
"thank you"

*

After the lady dropped me off on the wrong street, I walked two miles to Gerard's house when my phone started ringing. I looked at it and it was Gerard calling, I ignored it and grabbed my stuff from his house. I continued to get messages from him. Saying, where are you? I love you. Please respond. Call me. I called a taxi, and went back home.

***

"Fwankie, please call me" I was desperate for him to answer "Gerard, the baby is almost here" a nurse informed me I stood there, shocked by my own response
"I never want to see Lyn-z or that baby ever" I said sternly "Okay then you should go home now"
"...." I walked away

*

I sped off to my place. Frank. One thing I never want to lose. I came on him to fast, I know. There is so much more than a boy with eyeliner that meets the eye.
"FWANKIE!" I yelled and it echoed through the house
"Gee he went back to his place, he was really upset"
"Mikey, I fucked up. I don't want to life any more" I cried
"Its hard. You choose your own path. Frank really likes you and I shouldn't of been in the way"
"Frank doesn't like me" mikey got closer to me and slapped me
"I'm not gonna like anymore if you don't go see him!"
"Fine"

***

I never knew the one thing I truly love would bring me pain. "I love him. He made me love myself. Something I haven't done since my father left. Now I have nothing and I have school tomorrow. I don't want to live anymore" I cried I grabbed the gun my mother keeps in the closet. A small hand gun.
"Sorry mom, sorry world, sorry gee" I slowly moved the gun into my mouth...

Notes

I'll update soon