25 Reasons Why I Hate You

"What now?" Frank stretches and yawns, throwing Gerard’s arms off of his waist to stand up and yank the DVD out of the player. Gerard whines, fuck Frank and fuck the ending of the movie, he was comfortable in that position.

He shrugs, rubs his eyes sleepily and rolls over to the other side of his bed to grab the remote. He browses through the channels, seeing that there’s absolutely nothing worth watching currently on TV so he just leaves the Top 40 on MTV for background noise, immediately questioning his own sanity because all he sees is boobs and that really isn’t his turf. That guy is kind of hot, though. What was his name again? Alex …something? He’s cute. For a hipster, anyway. Now, if you listen closely, you’ll hear Gerard’s neighbor Milo who he believes reads people’s minds snickering and hissing ‘FUCKIGN BURNNN’ in the distance. That kid is awesome. He likes them.

“Wanna’ make out?” He looks at Frank with a small smile. Alex is cute, but his Frankenidiot is ducking adorable.

Frank rolls his eyes but slumps on the bed beside him anyway, putting a leg over one of Gerard’s and laying his head on his chest. It feels strangely right, even though Gerard has always imagined [even though he will deny it if you ask him] him and Frank having hot sex with something like Bad Religion or Danzig blasting in the background. Relatively You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC. Even though that’s one of his mom’s favorite songs. Ew. But definitely not Rihanna.

“With Selena Gomez in the background?” Frank cocks an eyebrow at the screen.

“I really don’t give a shit who’s in the background if your tongue is in my mouth. Even though I think that’s Beyonce.”

Frank laughs. “Fair enough. And yes, I know who that is, I was just testing you.”
Gerard rolls his eyes, and Frank pecks his cheek then lifts himself off of him, just to straddle him two seconds later. The friction is already happening while he’s hovering over Gerard’s face with a smirk and Gerard is already turning animalistic. “Hello.”

Gerard rolls his eyes, practically growling, “Fuck manners.”

Frank sighs, snickering, but lowers his head so their lips are barely brushing. Fuck him and his teasing, Gerard is still weighing if it’s okay for him to pop a boner this early in their make out stage. And they aren’t even making out yet. Simply because Frank is one little bitch whose sex drive quickly varies from ‘grip my throat and I’ll come all over you’ to ‘I have fuckloads of self-control so I’ll make your life [and pants] a living hell’.
Currently, Gerard is in a serious giving mood [well, it’s understandable because it’s Frank, but whatever] but considering the pace they’re in, he doesn’t have that much at all to give.
So he repeats ‘fuck manners’ inside his head again and tucks his hands underneath Frank’s t-shirt.

He inspects the warm flesh there with his fingers, then moves upwards and simultaneously gives Frank’s lower lip a lick, asking for permission. Frank doesn’t need to be asked twice, he opens his mouth hungrily and meets him halfway as he’s tugging at Gerard’s hair with equal eagerness Gerard’s feeling inside his stomach.

Gerard can’t really think straight, reason one is obvious because what he’s currently doing is hella fucking gay; reason two being that he hasn’t made a coherent thought since ‘shit his tongue is so soft’ or the equally desperate ‘fuck why can’t I fucking stop’. Well, at least Frank’s up for it.

Don’t get him wrong. He loves Frank to bits. But currently, he doesn’t really want to cuddle him as much as he wants to make him moan his name in the dirtiest tone possible, simultaneously using a decently generous amount of dirty profanities. So yeah, instead of turning this into a passionate, loving sexual endeavor between two people in love, Gerard just simply makes a mental note that says ‘yeah, I think I want his dick in my mouth now’. So he acts on it.

At first, he just kisses his neck while Katy Perry is blasting in the background and singing about her teenage dream or something, and even though that’s not exactly the kind of music Gerard wants to have sex to, he has to admit it fits the situation more than Iron Maiden’s ‘2 Minutes To Midnight’ would. Like, ew. Just… ew.

Frank moans throatily and Gerard bites harder, sucking thoroughly and leaving a reasonably visible mark that’ll probably stay there for a long time. Not that he minds. But then he sticks his hand into the front of Frank’s jeans and he gasps, but laces his hands tighter into the hair at the back of Gerard’s hair and oh God, okay, he’s going to do this.

He presses another kiss to Frank’s lips, gentler, then moves downwards over his collarbones and forearms. Frank visibly holds his breath when Gerard undoes his belt, working on the button and the fly like a fucking pro. Well, it’s not like he’s a whore, but he’s had an eventful junior year in high school. He seriously hopes not a lot of guys blew Frank, though, because that would make him really lame in comparison, plus fucking ew other guys blowing Frank isn’t his favorite mental image.

So he gets Frank’s jeans down to his knees, because seriously, fuck patience, and just stares at Frank’s boxers for a second. He hooks his fingers underneath the hem of the waistband and tugs down slowly, revealing a thickening happy trail that leads to…

Why the fuck is that idiot giggling now?

Gerard looks up at him but he’s looking at the TV, and on the TV there’s a song playing and the song is called Whistle by some Florist guy and it’s painfully obvious that it’s about blowjobs and then Gerard starts laughing, too, because fuck him- karma is a bitch.

*

Destiny has its way and they end up cuddling after all, but Gerard really doesn’t mind because Frank is soft and squishy regardless of his fit body shape and fucking shit Gerard literally can’t describe this with any word that isn’t ‘fluff’ and he is about eighty percent sure that’s what people call the cute shit in fanfiction. But he doesn’t mind. Because, well, yeah.

“Gee?” Frank yawns.

“Yeah?”

“I should be getting home, y’know,” he switches his position so he’s facing him.

“Noooo,” Gerard whines and pulls him tighter, as if he’s trying to tell him ‘you’re not goin’ anywhere biatch, you’re all mine’.

Frank chuckles and kisses his neck, but smiles sadly, “I have to go, it’s like eleven o’clock and we have school tomorrow.”

“Give me your phone,” Gerard commands, and Frank looks at him suspiciously before handing him the device.

from: frank
to: mom
mrs. iero, gerard speaking and I wanna ask you if frank can stay the night. please? pweez?

Frank raises an eyebrow, getting the phone back and reading the already sent message. Then he looks at Gerard like he’s the most pathetic loser in the entire world. Then he kisses him, because he’s the most pathetic loser in the entire world but Frank loves him for it.

from: mom
to: frank
sure thing, g. just don’t go to bed too late, make sure frank borrows some clothes. he spends way too much time wearing one single pair of boxers. have fun xx

“Your mom's cool,” Gerard smiles and flashes Frank the screen, who immediately blushes and widens his eyes. “And you’re currently lying in a bed whose sheets haven’t been changed since January.”

“You disgusting creature,” Frank grins, but kisses Gerard again anyway.

*

When Gerard wakes up, it’s because he feels like he’s being watched and he already wants to yell at Mikey for staring at him in his sleep again but then he feels something soft on his jaw, then his cheeks, then his lips and now he’s not sure if this counts as incest or it’s [hopefully] not Mikey.

He finally realizes that it’s the latter [thanks Jesus] when he opens his eyes and blinks a few times to see Frank’s face three inches from his own, all droopy eyelids and bedhair and holy shit if that isn’t the cutest shit he’s ever seen.

“At first I thought you were Mikey,” Gerard croaks out.

“Mikey kisses you awake every morning…?” Frank furrows his brow and Gerard widens his eyes.

“Fuck no. He does stare me awake sometimes, though.”

Frank scrunches his nose up a bit, but kisses Gerard anyway before sliding out of the bed and walking over to Gerard’s closet. “Can I borrow some shit?”

“Sure,” Gerard says while yawning and stretching, watching Frank’s back as he’s peeling his shirt off.

“I’m going to pretend you’re not perving out on me right now,” he sighs.

“I’m not,” Gerard states defensively, “I’m saving that for when you take your boxers off.”

Frank laughs, but takes them off anyway; grabbing a pair of Gerard’s from the closet while he’s shamelessly staring at Frank’s ass. So what? Frank has a nice ass, Gerard is a slight creep and Frank has the permission to do whatever he wants with his ass, so by his logic this is perfectly fine. Okay, that came out wrong. No pun intended. [Gerard can now swear he hears Neighbor Milo laughing again. Sometimes he thinks that kid is spying on him.]

“Get up, pervert, we’re going to be late for school and Lindsey is going to murder us both,” Frank throws the boxers he’s just taken off at Gerard.

“Did you just throw your dirty boxers at me?” Gerard scoffs and gingerly removes them from his chest.

“Yes. Now get up.”

*

It’s fucking weird when people keep looking at you like you’re a fucking puppy. It can be nice, but it isn’t really because you somehow know it’s just because they want you to go shopping with them and act like the ultimate sass queens while commenting Jessie J’s new hairstyle and polishing their nails.

Well, it’s not like Gerard isn’t a fucking sass queen and can’t use nail polish, but fucking hell, he’s not a girl, after all. And the fact that he’s [kind-of-sort-of-not-really-but-almost] dating another guy doesn’t change that.

Probably the most annoying thing is when that Jennifer-or-something-like-that girl from Chemistry class finds them making out in the bathroom while Lindsey is taking care of Mr. Cat and starts awing how ‘she always wanted a gay best friend’.

“Okay, let’s get things straight,” Frank says, completely serious before Gerard starts honking. He can’t be lamer, but come on. “Maybe not, but let’s make them clear. I don’t like going shopping if it doesn’t involve band shit and I mostly shop online, because fucking ew stores. I don’t polish other people’s nails, eventually Gerard’s or Lindsey’s because, well, y’know.” Gerard then grins sheepishly and Frank can’t help but to smirk a bit at that. “Anyway, the thing is that, I don’t play dress up and I don’t talk about Rihanna’s lack of boobs. No.”

Jennifer-or-something-like-that sighs. “You’re no fun.”

“I beg to differ,” Gerard calls, and Frank starts snickering. Then someone calls her name [which is actually Heather. Or something like that.] from the girls’ locker room and she turns away and leaves while Gerard and Frank pick up where they left off.

*

“Wait a second,” Ville furrows his brow, “why the hell did Bert do that?”

Ville is kind of out of all happenings that occurred between Saturday and well, today, because his parents just randomly decided to visit his grandma in Finland on Monday so he and Jesse had to tag along and Lindsey had been wailing for days until he magically showed up this morning at school with fucking Finnish blueberry pie that his grandma made for Lindsey. Fucking hell. [Which she’s currently stuffing her face with it while listening to Gerard whine about Bert being a prick and probably fantasizing about shit like clown fish and sex]

When they told V [no pun intended, he’s V who has the D] that Gerard and Frank hooked up, his first reaction was something like ‘good thing you figured it out, too’ and a string of Finnish obscenities which, thankfully, only Lindsey understood [because she wanted to know and she made him teach her using various and numerous threats that probably involved sex].

“Because he’s a fucking prick,” Gerard repeats.

“And a motherfucking cocksucker,” Frank adds significantly.

“That too.”

Notes

Sorry for not updating. I've been lazy. And school started. And it already sucks more dick than Frank Iero ever did.

I have Gym tomorrow. Mourn with me.

If it's not me who wrote chapter 18, that's because I died. At Gym.

- Milo

P.S. Holy shit, 66 subs and 30 votes? Not to mention almost 7,000 views? Dudes and dudettes and all of you who classify as both or neither, you're so fucking rad I can't even put it into words. And the fact that I've seen this story get to the first couple of pages of popular stories several times? Fucking thank you.
Okay, rant over. I'mma go now.