„Cuddle with me,“ Frank extends his arms as he throws himself back on his couch. Gerard rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen. Frank just huffs, grudgingly gets up and follows him, sadly having to leave his comfy position.

Gerard Way can seriously fucking suck cock sometimes. And not even remotely in the way Frank would like him to, either.

They're hanging out at Frank's place, for a change- his parents are going out of town for a bit and trusting Frank to handle the hose on his own for a few days. What foolish creatures his parents are. Frank also doesn't have nosey sibilings like some people do, so they practically have the entire house to themselves.

Frank has sex in mind. Gerard has cooking in mind. Frank has already stated that he's the obvious winner here because fucking > food, but Gerard said no and claimed he wants to test his culinary abilities.

„How about I suck you off whilst you cook?“ Frank is swinging his legs off of the kitchen counter while Gerard storms through the kitchen like a hurricane. A Misfits-hoodie-wearing hurricane.

„As flattering as that would be, no. Do you usually like to eat jizz in your everyday meals?“ Gerard's voice comes through the cupboard his head is currently burried in, looking for God knows what.

„Only on Fridays,“ Frank says and hops off of the counter, in search for something more fun than the sucky suck guy in his kitchen. „Sometimes I eat it on Wednesdays, if I behave good.“ He adds as an afterthought and then he's out of the kitchen, leaving Gerard to think how lucky he is that Frank has such a good sense of humor.

„You're weird,“ Gerard semi-shouts and Frank sticks his tongue out, even though Gerard can't see it. He's not the one denying blowjobs over cooking. He voices that thought as he throws himself down onto the couch again.

„Pon farr?“ Gerard calls out.

„What?“ Frank hisses out as he switches the channels. There's honestly nothing interesting- everything is B to the O to the b-o-r-i-n-g. He settles on MTV at the end, as it is better to have shitty music than no music.

„Vulcan heat,“ Gerard supplies oh-so-fucking-helpfully. One Direction are just about to finish singing about the one thing that they desperately need, and he's praying to God something not shitty playes after this.

„I know what pon farr is, you cock. Can't a guy just want some sexy time without it being a sci-fi phenomenon?“ Frank shouts back, adjusting the volume. He can't have his neighbors thinking he listens to pop music. Then again, he doesn't give a fuck, but he also sort of wants to, a) not go deaf, and b) hear what Gerard is saying.
„It is sort of flattering to think that you would possibly maybe want to have intercourse with me for any other reason other than the impending doom an certain death that will occur to you if you don't,“ Gerard says as he opens the fridge- or so it sounds to Frank over the loud noise that is, apparently, I Wanna by The All-American Rejects. Maybe not such shitty music after all.

*

Frank is currently sitting on the couch (again), completely dying of boredom. Like, literally dying. He's also playing with Mr.Cat. Well, more like she's sleeping and he's rubbing her belly.

He is still amazed that he managed to go to Gerard's house, drink some coffee with his mother, pick up the cat, come back and Gerard is still in the cocksucking kitchen.

Frank thinks about how Gerard better be making filet mignon or some shit, before he remembers he's vegetarian.

Mr.Cat meows when Frank stands up but Frank just shushes her- he needs to sneak up on Gerard and see what the fuck he's doing, even though Gerard told him to stay out of the kitchen because he wants it to be a surprise.

He sneaks up and puts his ear against the door that separates the living room from the kitchen and all he can hear is Gerard humming and singing something to himself like he's fuckign Snow White or some shit, but Frank still fails at not smiling because seriously, how big of a dork can someone actually be.

Frank pushes the door open a tiny, tiny bit and prays to every God he can think of that Gerard doesn't notice or hear or see or anything. He peeks in and literally all he can see is Gerard's back, blocking his view directly.

Frank internally curses and closes the door softly.

He's just gonna have to entertain himself somehow, then. His mind goes straight to porn (well, maybe not straight, if you catch my drift), and then he grins to himself and runs up to his room.

*

„Frankie?“

Frank wakes up to Gerard softly shaking him out of his nap. He blinks a few times before he can actually match Gerard's voice with his figure that is currently hovering above him like some sort of a demon. A demon that smells like it spent 60 days in the kitchen and not enough time in the shower.

„Food's ready,“ he grins, ruffles Frank's hair and then dissappears.

Frank tries to remember did he or did he not change his underwear after jerking off, but finds that he doesn't really care sicne the only person who's gonna see him is Gerard, so he just gets out of bed and doesn't bother putting a shirt on, just trudging down the stairs in the sweatpants and underwear that sticks to his crotch in a way that suggests that no, he did not change his underwear after jerking off.

He walks right into the kitchen and the familiar smell of spaghetti greets him.

„It took you like 14 hours to make spaghetti?“ Frank scowls but sits down anyway, the hot steam rising from the already set plates on the table. He's gotta admit, it looks like Gerard put loads of effort into this; the table looks actually nice- Frank didn't even know they had fancy stuff like this.

„Shut up and eat,“ Gerard grins and sits down opposite of Frank.

Well, Frank doesn't need to be told twice. He twirls some strings of spaghetti on his fork and then puts it into his mouth, literally moaning at how good it tastes.

„Gee, why didn't you ever tell me you were, like, a pro-chef?“ Frank asks around his mouthful of food.

Gerard just smiles shyly, thanks him and then scolds him for speaking with his mouth full. He gets an 'oh, thanks, Mom' in response but he finds he really doesn't care, he's just fucking amazed at how Frank can be stuffing his mouth with giant strings of noodles and still look like some sort of an angel-like creature.

„Fuck, Gee,“ Frank moans and he is 100% positive that he sounds like he's having an orgasm- and, crap, knowing him, he probably would be if he didn't have one sometime before that event- but it's honestly so good. „Why'd you hide your spectacular culinary abilities from me?“

Gerard just smiles, again, says thank you, again, watches Frank eat, again, before remembering oh right, he is supposed to be eating, too, and then he digs into his food.

*

„Oh my God, I feel like I'm pregnant,“ Frank groans, half talking to Gerard and half talking to his reflection. „I shouldn't have eaten so much, but it's so tasty.“ He groans again, running his hands over his belly and he can practically hear Gerard rolling his eyes from the kitchen.

„Thinking something is tasty doesn't equal eating everything that was in the bowl,“ Gerard teases but he honestly loves it that Frank complimented him on the food all night long. He even managed to get a few kisses here and there, granted it was when Frank was on a spaghetti-high and thought that Gerard was God, probably, but still.

„It feels like I'm carrying twins,“ Frank studies his stomach and when Gerard turns around, he's surprised to find that Frank's stomach doesn't even look bloated at all. Like, okay, he's not exactly surprised because Frank really is a tiny, tiny dude, but from all this talking, Gerard figured he'd be the size of a mini van. Frank's stomach has only a slight, little pudge and Gerard wonders how would Frank even react if he saw Gerard's stomach after eating that much food.

„Oh, cut the crap, Frank, you look the same as you always do,“ Gerard sets down the plate he was gonna put in the washing machine to come up to Frank and put his hands around the smaller man's waist.

„Short? Chubby? Boring?“ Frank deadpans, but leans into Gerard's touch. Gerard just shakes his head and turns his head to whisper in Frank's ear.

„Perfect,“ and then he starts kissing Frank's neck and Frank is literally in seventh heaven and oh my God.

Frank turns around and his aim is a bit off but he still somewhat kisses Gerard on the lips, moaning when Gerard's hands slide to cup his ass. He squeals in surprise but somehow it turns into a moan that Gerard catches with his mouth and Frank wonders if Gerard can feel it in his throat or whatever.

They continue kissing hungrily and somewhere along the line Frank finds that they are now, in fact, sprawled out on the couch, even though Frank doesn't even recall that happening.

Soon enough, Frank's tongue is in Gerard's mouth, or maybe it's Gerard's tongue in Frank's mouth? Basically, there's lots of tongues in mouths and Frank is trying not to pop a boner and keep it at least PG-13.

The kissing goes on and on, until they hear a soft meow from somewhere near them and they both freeze. It's sort of muffled, and for a second Frank has a horrifying thought that is something along the lines of oh my God Mr.Cat is under the couch cushin and we are crushing her oh my her bones must be totally deformed oh my lord what if we tore her tail off by accident but the thought-thread is broken when he realises Mr.Cat just got wrapped up in the curtains and sort of tore it to pieces.

His mind is actually able to sort of enter a state of calm for about 0.008 seconds before he realises those are his mom's new fucking curtains and she is positively going to murder him and leave his dead body for rats to feast upon.

Notes

IT'S LIKE 300 WORDS SHORT OFF THE ACTUAL LIMIT AND MILO PLEASE DON'T STAB ME BECAUSE IT'S NOT 2000 WORDS I AM SO SORRY EVERYONE IT'S LONG OVERDUE AND S H O R T

Yes, so, sorry for the terribly long wait and the shortness and the overall crappiness. I recognize that this story would be loads better if Milo was writing it on their own (as it would be updated more frequently and shizz) but, alas, you fuckers are stuck with me.

This may be the suckiest chapter I've ever written. And it took me literal ages. I'm so sorry. I'm sick and it is very distracting if you're sneezing and coughing every two seconds. Not to mention the headache. I hope Milo doesn't hate me for taking this long and making it shorter than I am allowed to, and the same goes for you guys.

I'm so sorry for being so crap. Sigh.

-Rogue